|Reviews for ALL SINS FORGIVEN|
| JediGaladriel chapter 1 . 12/9/2015
Good so far! Also, is Jesse not a member of the crew yet, I mean when you say "but the donuts and coffee had seemed to slow even the youngest of the five" (are you referring to A.J.?). When you say "he released his grip off the hidden weapon", you might want to clarify *what* he's holding to help limit the confusion for your readers. And, you might want to fix this part: "white shirt jean jacket black pants and boots"- you're missing the punctuation and this: "to me then, uh stranger I don't know in my loft without permission!". Also, "alleyway" is one word not two. Just wanted to point that out. This is not a flame, they're just suggestions. I'm not trying to offend. It's still good!
| Guest chapter 10 . 7/9/2012
This was awesome! AJ is my favorite character and its hard to find fanfictions that do him justice, so I thank you for that. You are really good at making things deep and getting into character
| Reject's Angel chapter 5 . 4/24/2012
I am very interested to see where this goes.
| Reject's Angel chapter 2 . 4/23/2012
Finally a new Taker's story and an AJ one at that. Can't wait for the next chapter
| you-noia chapter 1 . 4/19/2012
I like this; it's different from the others I've read though they're good as well. Aside from a few minor grammatical mistakes here and there, I think the biggest thing I'd say you should watch is your point of view. I know it's third person but there's still always that sense of keeping it in one perspective.
For example, this entire thing is obviously from AJ's POV but you suddenly switched to the woman's when you wrote "Turning around she jumped back and let out a scream as she saw someone not far from her hiding against a wall. Not thinking in a frantic action she threw the orange in her hand and ran to the couch grabbing her phone to call the police." AJ wouldn't know that she wasn't thinking or that she was going to call the police.
Instead you could write something like: "AJ watched as the woman turned around and saw him, jumping back and screaming. She threw the orange in her hand and ran to the couch for the phone." not the best example but I hope you get it.
You did this POV switcheroo a couple times but it isn't a major deal. I didn't even start paying attention to this detail until a friend of mine pointed it out in my own Takers story. other than that I'd like to see more! :)
| Hanni-Banni chapter 3 . 4/17/2012
I love the story, i think it is really funny and different! So please update soon ;)