Reviews for Wicked Game
alfa wolfcub chapter 32 . 12/30/2013
no! it says its part of a trilogy! grrr, great story though. really liked your take on vampires
K-Ness chapter 3 . 12/21/2013
I like it. I'm leaving a review on this page in the hopes that I'll remember where I left off.
OmenProphecy chapter 1 . 6/8/2013
This is a pre-review, I guess. You have nearly 150k words, but only 7 reviews? There's something wrong with that. Are people just not finding your story? I can tell you right now, it isn't because of an issue with your writing. I like the originality, even of the fist chapter. I am intrigued, and I look forward to reading on.
iain chapter 32 . 10/27/2012
I haven't really read many fan fics before but I enjoyed what you did here. It's been a little while since I read through the Harry Potter series but your story seemed to fit really well as a parallel story. Most importantly, you have a beautifully descriptive writing style. Some of your choices were really inspired (never would have thought of saying that someone "laced" their fingers together). You have a great foundation and with more writing practice, I'm sure it'll get even better.

If I had to find something to nit-pick about, it might be the dialog. All of the characters seem to speak in a very well mannered voice with proper grammar, which made their voices blend together from time to time. I had an English teacher that told me once to speak my dialog out loud after writing it. If I got tongue tied or if it sounded unnatural then I should probably re-word it. I'll use a line of dialog from the final chapter as an example.

"Let me go Orion, *Spoiler* is dead, and I want my revenge." This felt a little unnatural for me when I read it. Mina is pissed at this point so I would think her dialog would be a little more abrupt and filled with rage. Something more along the lines of "Let go of me! He'll pay for what he did to *Spoiler*" Just something to reflect the emotion in her voice at that moment. I think, coupled with your already great descriptive style, it will help get the emotions/personalities of the characters across a little better.

Other than that, I don't really have anything else to add for constructive criticism. It was a sad but entertaining story and I enjoyed it. Congrats!
A Fan chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
I think you should look forward to many positive reviews in the future. Your story was well-crafted, heart-breaking, and ultimately committed to the true likeness of your characters. Your story speaks to anyone who has experienced loving someone who will never return that love. You have a gift, please keep writing, I will certainly keep reading.
Kipling7 chapter 1 . 7/31/2012
I quite like this chapter. It's pretty interesting, and I really do want to read more.

Personally, I never judge a fic by its reviews. I've read some godawful stories with over 1k reviews, and I think this chapter rules over their 45 chapters of nonsense, hands down. My stories don't get many reviews, but I wouldn't like to stop writing because of it.

All in all, a very well-written start :)
MaraSnape chapter 32 . 7/12/2012
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this story. I read it all in one go; I was so hooked. Snape is, hands-down, my favorite character and I always wanted a good ending for him. I was shocked when I saw this story had so few reviews, so I just wanted to say, "Bravo"
Guest chapter 32 . 6/28/2012
Oh my god.. it was so beautiful... I just cant believe you did what you did at the end.. how sad... and why didn't Mina stay with Sirius or Remus? They could have been great together. Please Please Please give us a sequel or something! I3u!
VaLo'SmIsTrEsS chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
I think it's really a great idea to use song titles in a chapter. Especailly when it makes sense with the story! I've just read the first chapter so far, but once I finish summer school I can't wait to read the rest! 333
Gouki chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
Other than a few spelling errors, I don't think it's bad at all. I have the feeling that I started reading in the middle of the story. It's kinda like Metallica's No Leaf Clover. When the lyrics start, it sounds like the middle of a song. But, I'm sure it's just because it's the Prologue. I figure you'll fill in the details on later chapters. Amirite? _