|Reviews for Shadow Hearts Covenant AN|
| Ganheim chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
and they got to act fast
[Colloquial speech of questionable grammar? Really? In the narrative description? Please say it isn’t so…]
The lieutenant stride into view
[Bad grammar – be sure you’re using the right tense]
wishing who that demon is until she heard it
[It’s hard making out a lot of your sentences due to verb tense or sentence construction, but this one is particularly muddled. I like speculation on what characters may have been thinking, but this is just unclear]
moved forward with every back step
[Why, are its legs backwards? Most of the time people move forward with every step ahead]
and threw it like
[What “it”? Yuri picked up a human being]
He has gone all the way from the Vatican
[No, he hasn’t. English is an object-oriented language, he can come but not go ‘all the way from the Vatican’]
He gave himself in a set of paladin robes
[If that’s what he gave himself, what did he have to start with?]
I love this game, and that’s part of the reason why I’m so dissatisfied by your attempt. Spelling and grammar is all over the place, you have little attempt to portray the depth of the characters, and the settings are so vaguely presented that we could be walking through the blackness of space. Don't rely on the game to do your work for you, take the story and make it your own. The great novelizations (like Peptuck's Tiberium Wars) aren't chained by their origins, but instead bolstered and guided by them.
| HeartlessTitania chapter 1 . 8/6/2012
Ah this brings back memories! (: I haven't played this since I was in eight grade, and I loved every minute of it. Reading this was like re-living it with out having to actually unhook my ps3 and plug in my ps2 and play it again. You should really finish this because most people that try to do this don't do a good job and their writing is terrible, but this kept me reading, and the scenes of the game kept flashing in my mind. Reading the opening of the game was just as epic as actually playing it. Great work. (:
| ChaosBringer7 chapter 1 . 7/26/2012
Plz keep it up even if it is a few people reading it!
| darkangelrawr chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
I really really enjoyed this, I am planning on novelising all three games so don't think i've robbed you of an idea! But I really am enjoying this! Thank you for the note! You've inspired me to write my own sequel as well so feel honoured it's a project I plan on working on!