|Reviews for Revelations of One Harry James Potter|
| NakedFury chapter 4 . 10/8
This story is insane, is crack a third story category because I cant stop laughing at the sex slaves part
| chachingmel123 chapter 1 . 8/20
I'm sorry but i can't read anymore.
Please tell me, I'm not the only one who stopped reading this half way through the first chapter.
First off from the reviews i can tell this a good story with a couple of errors that aren't too bothersome.
However I don't think anyone has mentioned the problem of Harry finding out his Aunt and Uncle were told by his parents to abuse him.
Yes what they did in cannon was abuse, not 'work him hard' to prepare him to be a Lord. I don't think being locked up in a cupboard and being forced to cook unhealthy amounts of food at an age when he's barely out of his Diapers will help him to becoming a rich and highly educated Lord.
What the letter basically said was "Harry, we're sorry for the abuse but the abuse will make you grow stronger as a person. We trust that your Aunt and Uncle won't take it too far and you'll survive long enough to take up your Lordship title, even if scars litter your body and your dangerously underweight. Remember, we're doing this because we love you"- Love James and Lily.
I'll tell you this now, you should add James and Lily name to your bashing list because I think all your readers can agree that excuse was not just weak but a load of bull.
Harry was lucky to survive to even get his hogwarts letter!
And than finding out about a marriage contract that will force him to marry a girl he barely knows because of his so called parents and Siruis is even giving him the thumbs up..
My head is slamming against the wall as I type.
Any person in this situation wouldn't be accepting this at face value.
They would be pissed.
Pissed at their birth parents for ruining their lives, pissed at their so called guardians who abused them under their parents orders, than pissed at anyone else who want along with this crazy plan.
In my eyes they're all no better than Dumbledore, who you made him the villain of this story.
The reason why I stopped reading was because I couldn't get passed Harry's VERY unrealistic reaction to all of what has been revealed to him.
Does it sound right to you that Harry seems to have forgotten the decade worth of abuse because of a couple of letters and that he suddenly trusts his so called 'family' to take him to Gringotts were all his money is being kept!?
Yes I know both Vernon and Petunia are extremely OC in this but I can't be the only one expecting both of them to turn around and try to rob Harry blind when he's not looking!?
Please tell me I'm not the only disturbed by Harry easy acceptance and unrealistic reaction to all of this?
A year ago I wouldn't even think about all of this and it wouldn't even bother me as much, but I fond out with age and experience, deeper stories are made and your character stop being so 2 dimensional.
You start adding deeper layers underneath your characters and you start to want to developed them so well that they become closer to be seen as real people with realistic problems and reactions.
Dont ever stop writting, I would like to read a story from you, that really draws me in and emensis me in the story.
If you can do that, than your on your way to becoming a top rate writer.
| DylanL chapter 15 . 8/17
so except for the constant reiteration of the betrayals that happened to harry and the plot errors that i already mentioned, i thought the story was really good.
i found draco changing as much as he did to be unlikely based on how you portrayed him in the wizengamot and during sirius' will reading, but not impossible.
i think you were too hard on luna considering she didnt say anything at the beginning of the story and could have just been smart enough to realize that confronting the other 4 would be useless since she didnt know harry was there. plus she was never offered the chance to explain, which i consider to be a betrayal of her friendship by harry.
i remember you stating in an AN that this would be a solely harry/susan fic so adding daphne was unexpected and unnecessary. i could see maybe having harry give her a couple children.
the dursley's were interesting to me. i have read stories where they are good, neutral, and evil, where they have a change of heart, were being controlled by dumbledore, and where only petunia and/or dudley change. but this is the first story i have read where the dursleys were actually nice and did what they did because lily made them promise to do it until harry was ready. finding something novel in a fanfic after reading over a thousand stories, is very welcome and made me keep reading.
i liked them taking over victoria's secret, that was very amusing
| DylanL chapter 12 . 8/16
the year is 1996 not 1995. it is post ootp which took place during the 95-96 school year.
also you never said who harry used in the fire on privet drive, but i had thought it was crabbe, goyle, and parkinson because harry said they fit the description and that meant that malfoy would be without protection at hogwarts and that the bodies were taken from their homes under their parents' noses. so who were the people that took those seats in the wizengamot since in canon none of them were said to have siblings?
you said, when bill no name was first arreted, that fleur's father was head of the french DMLE. why are you now saying he is the french Minister of Magic.
also have to wonder exactly how much wealth the malfoy's had in france when you said that they were almost bankrupted by sirius' will.
| DylanL chapter 11 . 8/15
i would just like to point out that Luna said nothing at all during that scene, so harry saying that 5 people spoke, in the letter to madam longbottom was incorrect. and hold on, harry had grimmauld locked down and the fidelis recast back in chapter 4, so there is no way remus and tonks could have gotten in there to use the basement.
| DylanL chapter 7 . 8/15
i dont know if it was an intentional homage to 'robin hood: men in tights' but the dumbledumps reminded me of the scene where patrick stewart's character came back to nottingham and said that all the toilets would be named Johns after his brother that tried to usurp him.
| godess bubbles chapter 15 . 7/25
I loved this story!Did Harry and Susan name their first 3 after their fathers?It was a great story!
| Spazzman29 chapter 5 . 7/21
The only thing I don't like is your portrayal of Tonks as she isn't like that although I know you only wrote it to seem that she was also manipulated.
(I may also be a little biased as I have just finished a good Honks story).
| Love2read23 chapter 15 . 5/22
I really appreciate this chapter documenting all the changes they've made in the world. Thank you for writing this fic.
| Calmzone1 chapter 15 . 5/20
Very interesting, thought provoking story. Thanks for sharing it.
| stevefocus chapter 15 . 5/18
Really enjoyed this story.
| Noremac Samoht Doowreshi chapter 15 . 5/9
And I agree you never know how far your help can go
| DVPotter chapter 15 . 4/13
Have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this story to the point that I was late to work as I stayed up most of the night to try and complete it (i failed as odeons rest overcame me) I loved the whole thing from start to finish as it had you gripped straight away. I have now read afew of your stories and have not a single complaint for any of them I just wish I had the imagination and competence to write my own. Here's to many more great stories and late nights.
| missgsmith51 chapter 14 . 2/20
I thought Hermione's memories of what she had done were going to be modified or removed, so that she was unaware of the full scope of what had happened to her. Perhaps she only remembers enough that she is unsure why Harry has cut her as a friend. Then again, I am not sure Harry would have been so deadly in his revenge - family history or not - had it not been for what Dumbo and the weasels did to Hermione. Given her acceptance of his actions (and lack of ethics lectures), I'm curious to know exactly HOW her memories were modified.
I'm REALLY curious to know exactly how much knowledge and understanding of Dumbo's actions McGonagall and Sprout had that they were willing to look the other way so often. Snape obviously knew, based on his participation in Hermione's enslavement. Since Flitwick wasn't roundly condemned with the others, am I correct in believing he he had no knowledge of Dumbledore's treachery? If he had known and stayed silent, surely Harry would have removed him from Hogwarts.
Too bad about Neville and Luna. They're usually not such cowards. I'm disappointed in both of them. I'm sure Augusta will make Neville's life a living hell for the rest of hers, anyway. Of course, she could have questioned Neville earlier in his Hogwarts career to find out why he seemed not to have a particularly close relationship with Harry, as the nature of their alliance suggests they should have been very close. She should have attempted to invite Harry to Longbottom Manor and find out about his life, and she did not. So she is equally responsible for the rupture. Very sad.
| Time Emperor chapter 15 . 1/29
This is, by far, one of my top five favorite stories. The entire story was a good read, even if I had only just now read ALL of it. I won't say that you did a good job, that is too much of an understatement. But I have no words to say just how good of a job you did with it. Really. You should be proud of yourself.