|Reviews for Dark Star: Book 1|
| Errant Goat chapter 18 . 2/10
This fic has been a highlight of my week, so it's only fair to leave a review.
I haven't been reading fanfiction in a while, and finding your work was a happy coincidence of me renewing my love for DBZ and Piccolo, and seeing your fic mentioned on a social platform I frequent. Curiosity brought me here.
I don't think any of the minor criticisms I might even have at this point would be constructive or relevant, seeing Book 1 concluded in a chapter posted over 10 years ago, and I'm not familiar with your more recent work...yet. So I hope you don't mind me just shrugging it off.
Onto everything that I loved about your story!
You hit most of the points that make a story work for me. How you write characters, for starters, how each and every one of them speaks with a clear, distinct voice, and they are oh so entertaining to follow. Especially Piccolo, whom you keep so perfectly in character that reading the inner workings of his mind was a delight! Even with the different origin, his voice is his. But that also applies to your original Namekians, who get a bit less screentime overall, but don't feel any less developed because of that. My brain was doing flip-flops trying to figure out Tambourine and is still with the last chapter of Book one completely undecided about the depth of his evilness. Kami gave some insight, but the Why is still shrouded in mystery; I still hope for redemption for Cymbal somehow, against all better judgment. Even characters whose role was short lived - like Raditz, you gave the reader enough insight into his mind to make him meaningful...and well, maybe 'relatable' is the wrong word here, but the reader ends up knowing where he's coming from more or less.
You keep a fine balance between being introspective and overall action, and those elements don't overshadow each other, you torture your characters and they suffer mental and physical hardships, but it doesn't feel gratuitous, it pushes their development along.
Fighting scenes have that carnal feeling about them, and even for a person like me who's pretty neutral about the more detailed aspects of martial arts, it was easy to follow - more, it was entertaining to follow! Character I care about got hit and I was wincing all over the place in sympathy, so I guess that's a job well done.
You keep the familiar timeline and flow of the plot, but add enough variety to make it interesting - I really loved the story, and I know I'll be coming back to it regularly.
I can't wait to start Book 2 - relationship between Piccolo and Gohan is one of my favourite in all of the fiction that's close to my heart, and I can't wait to see what direction you'll be taking the story now that Goku is gone for a while.
| Goatsy chapter 3 . 2/7
god i love this so much, i've been grinning and giggling through the whole thing, this fanfic is a real treat, thank you!
| Dreamwraith chapter 18 . 3/23/2015
Your talent scares me, you know that? (Okay, intimidates, but I think the previous imagery is more interesting.) I'm pretty sure that's why I've never actually sat down to read this in its entirety before, much less review, even given that I was a lurker here when you uploaded the first chapter of Book One. I can remember reading the first few chapters, telling myself that I'm going to stop right now before I become insanely jealous, and then not touching it again. Odd reaction, right?
Very much so.
I just sat down this evening and read through the whole story in one shot, and I must say that I am very impressed (and disappointed with myself for having denied myself the pleasure of the story for so long). Tambourine is a sneaky little bastard, and although admitting to it probably reveals that I'm kooky myself, he is my favorite of your four brothers. I admire how you have him manipulating so much behind the scenes without anyone really ever suspecting him. Isn't there a saying about that that someone should have picked up on by now? - It's always the quiet ones... He's frightening. I love it.
Piccolo, of course, is still my absolute favorite, and I love the way you have characterized him. If DBZ had had more interaction between Goku and Piccolo, I imagine that this is how it would go. The dynamic there is very enjoyable, and I found it both believable and easy to read. You've got a talent for making your words just flow, lady. I am envious.
I don't have any criticisms for this, honestly, because I can't find anything that I don't like outside of the FFN-mandated formatting issues. I look forward to reading through Book Two. Keep up the good work!
| Chem-Death chapter 17 . 2/6/2014
Too much good would create bad. There must be a balance, Kami. (for the next chapter)
| Chem-Death chapter 11 . 2/6/2014
Now it's new to me. Is book 2 something like Namek?
| Chem-Death chapter 9 . 2/6/2014
This chapter made me laugh. Particularly the dumbfounded Piccolo with the fact his brothers are going to help out.
So, Piccolo hadn't realized that he doesn't have cold blood?
| Chem-Death chapter 8 . 2/6/2014
It must been here that I stopped... or well, unable to continue.
| Chem-Death chapter 7 . 2/6/2014
Eep, the fight begins.
| Chem-Death chapter 5 . 2/6/2014
They're all going nuts without their fifth brother...
| Chem-Death chapter 3 . 2/6/2014
Oh well, I'm going to enjoy rereading this!
| Chem-Death chapter 2 . 2/6/2014
I did read this.
| Chem-Death chapter 1 . 2/6/2014
I had a strange feeling that I read this already. That was weird. And, it's Piano that was the shortest Mutant Namek not Tambourine. Though, the order of ages seem wrong...
Tambourine and Piano are the oldest (who's the elder might be Piano...)
Cymbal is next. Then Drum.
And finally, Piccolo, last.
| Zuchiku chapter 18 . 8/25/2013
This was great, similar and different from the original and unexpected how Goku died in the end.
Tambourine is such a player. I so hope he didn't do anything to Gohan.
| Chem-Death chapter 18 . 5/31/2013
Interesting little twist. I wonder how it would be as the story changes and maintain the story line of the original.
| ShireWulf chapter 18 . 3/8/2013
This was beyond amazing