Reviews for Point Break
Rosawyn chapter 3 . 2/14/2014
Oh hi; it's been a very long time since I read the first two parts of this. Still pretty darn fandom-blind when it comes to Death Note, though.

You know how much I love short fics (at least, I assume you remember, lol). Especially really short fics like these! :D

Still:
Wow, the emotions here are powerful. Not being familiar with the canon, I'm not sure what Light did or what his “victory” means, but his pain at seeing L dead is clear. I can feel his terrible desperate wishing that L was truly just sleeping. I don't know what the significance of the spoon is or what he was doing with it before he was killed, but it strikes me as a very true detail, the sort of thing Light would focus on in his shock and grief.

Animosity:
I notice this one is very “tell-y,” which is fine; I assume that's intentional. It illustrates the dysfunctional relationship between L and Light. It seems they are mutually obsessed with the other, and I wonder if perhaps they'd both be happier and healthier if they could just bring their secret relationship out into the open. At least then, it wouldn't be a “dirty little secret” anymore. It might not be a full solution to all their problems, but it seems like it would be a good start.

Love:
Some good insight into why they're so dysfunctional here. I am disturbed by the idea that L has never experienced love, unless a very specific type of love is meant here – everyone should experience some sort of love from a parent or at the very least a friend. If romantic/sexual love is the first type of love L experiences, no wonder he's so messed up. I'm tempted to say that most people don't really understand love, but I get the feeling that there's something more to Light's never having understood it, that perhaps he has some sort of inability to understand it. And I guess it makes sense that it wouldn't last, though that's quite sad. :(

Torn:
I have to admit, this one made me cringe. I'm assuming that was the intended reaction, though, heh. Even fandom-blind, I think I understand how it would be very confusing to realize that you yourself are the enemy you have been fighting – and worse, to learn that your lover is in fact your enemy as well, because he's trying to bring you down (even if he doesn’t know that and you didn't even know that).

Bells:
I love the multi-sensory imagery in the first line here. Very nice; very vivid. :) I can also understand how the sound could be both distracting and calming at the same time; I often find music has that effect on me. I assume those familiar with the canon know who “he” is here from context clues, but I don't, so this one was a bit more confusing for me because of that.

Denial:
I had to smile at this one, at Light's repeated insistence that he doesn't love the detective. The double-meaning of “Denial” is quite clever as well.

Black:
Reading this one, first I shuddered because I felt cold then I shuddered because of the bleak image of death (and the 'And I Must Scream' thing...quite shudder-worthy).

Homeland:
There seems to be a typo here: 'He knew that the detective had grown up in English' – shouldn't that be 'England'? I don't think it's possible to grow up “in” English. Having L's affected accent slip while upset does make sense, and it makes me wonder what L is yelling about, what's made him so upset.

Irritate:
Wow, that really is a gross image, L being like a flesh-eating disease. I really appreciate how Light himself acknowledges it's not a very good analogy, and that he's currently too upset to think straight. If I recall correctly, Light is in fact Kira (unless it's L who is in fact Kira – I know it's one of them, lol!), so that's a bit of irony there (regardless of which one is Kira, ftr), heh.

Slow:
This last one is so bleak, so sad, Light having to watch L die. It makes sense that a moment like that would seem to stretch out, to slow down.
The Bitter Kitten chapter 2 . 2/13/2013
Reasonable- I like that for once, L is leading Light.

Torrid- Nice. Even though the cat's getting an appetizer of the mouse :P

Demonic- You have such a great sense of fatalism in all of these. I like that L is both fearful and interested, knowing full well what Light has planned.

Fiery- I think I like fiery more than torrid.

Sweet- It is amazing that L hasn't rotted exactly all of his teeth, the amount of sugar he eats.

Redemption- I like that L sort of floats the idea that they can stop this game and just be, and Light shoots it down completely, even though he wants the same thing, some how.

Collaboration- Best summary, like, ever.

Annihilation- I like Light's manifesto. I wonder if he realises that he falls under "murderer", though. I forget. Can you write your own name in the death note?

White- I love that this starts out sweeter, and then BAM. Psychopath.

I really dig your writing, Cass. And I very much like your version of L and Light's relationship.
Cheers!
thats-a-moray chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
Yellow - Hate seems like a strong emotion for L, who is usually so cold. However, this is a well written piece. I like the way that you compare the color yellow to Light's mask of normalcy.

Radioactive - Great metaphor. I think the way that you paced this out, one long sentence followed by a short, punchy sentence, works really well.

Blinding - To me, this seems like the weakest piece. Its lacking in emotional potency compared to the others.

Red - One of my favorite pieces. You make a great use of sound and light here. The last line, about L missing Light's smile, seems to have multiple possible meanings.

November - Minimalistic but filled with emotion. I felt a chill down my spine, too.

Ice & Sea - I feel as though these two belong together, because of the contrast between pleasure and pain. Sea reminds me of the French saying "La petite mort." But it's a different kind of death here, isn't it?

Dessication - Your description of L here is great. He seems so vulnerable, so dead and yet so alive.

Short-lived - I remember this scene from the anime and the manga. You really captured it well, the sense of anti-climax followed by surprise.

Condemn - Short but sweet, a fitting ending to this chapter.
Green Phantom Queen chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
Love is a dangerous game to play, and both these characters know it. These drabbles are really well done and I'm interested to see how the other 40 will play out. Both Light and L are in perfectly good character, and I love the references to the manga that you make.

I'm loving the titles of each drabble and how it's interwoven to the story itself. And the title makes sense: it's like the straw that would eventually break that camel's back and where everything goes to hell. I don't know if this is considered horror, but it is depressing, let me tell you that (Then again Death Note is not a ball of sunshine).

I can't wait to see how the others play out.
Rosawyn chapter 2 . 10/19/2012
Call me...whatever you want, but my favourite of these ones is "Torrid." ;) I think I might have a sort of fetish for guys shoving each other against walls. XD It reminds me of the times Castiel shoves Dean against walls (of course, sadly, there is no Dean/Cas kissing on the show).

I did have to raise an eyebrow at "Fiery," not because it was bad (it wasn't), but because it seemed like it should probably be rated M rather than T. It's not a problem for me, since I read a lot of M rated stuff anyway, but I guess if I had a 13-year-old I don't think I'd want them stumbling on something like that by accident. I dunno. It's not terribly graphic, but I guess it's just that if I'd written it, I would have definitely rated it M.

Also, I have no idea who this Kira person is. Way to confuse me (the non-fan who really shouldn't be reading this anyway) by introducing a completely new character. :P

Throughout all of these, you have such vivid imagery. I think I say this a lot, but you really do have an awesome way of describing things in your writing.

I get the sense here (and I'm pretty sure elsewhere as well) that Light doesn't really consider the consequences of his actions until after L is dead. It's like, he comes to some important conclusions about friendship, love, loyalty, and morality, but not until after it's too late. It's such a tragic story (what I can piece together anyway being totally unfamiliar with Death Note), and I feel bad for Light, but at the same time I wonder why he didn't just think things through a bit more before doing them. I guess that would be more clear to someone who knew more about his character. But yeah, this is just the ramblings of an outsider.

I think the one I find the most intriguing here is "Dizzy," because it seems to hint at a larger "big-picture" sort of plot that I know nothing about, but it does make me wonder about it. If the stakes are now "much higher" than they're lives, what are they? Not asking you to answer that, but it's just my thoughts while reading that one.
Rosawyn chapter 1 . 10/19/2012
I know I've read some of your Death Note stuff before, but I'm still clueless when it comes to this fandom. I only have a vague idea of who these characters are, and the fact that both Light and L start with L (or, you know, are just L) is confusing to the point that I'm not sure which is which through most of this. I dont think that's your fault, but it does seem to make the differences between the two characters harder to pick out.

Also due to my cluelessness about the fandom, I don't know what here is canon compliant and what is just stuff you've made up. However, the event described in "Short-lived" gives me the distinct impression that it's a canon one. Obviously, I could be wrong, but that's my guess anyway. Maybe because it's so bizarre and so specific that it seems like something that could only have appeared in manga/anime? I dunno.

I enjoyed reading this, but I'm having a hard time putting into words exactly why. I know I enjoyed the details in the bit about Light eating an apple, the very specific details about biting into the apple. I also really like how "Yellow" is the first one here, as it seems to introduce the characters well (not even sure if you did that on purpose, but it works well regardless). Likewise, "Condemn" works well as an ending for this chapter, echoing the dark tone of the chapter and hinting at more creepy writing to come.

I also really enjoy the description in "Sea"; in fact, that might be my favourite of them all.
IrishPanther chapter 3 . 9/11/2012
Amazingly written set of drabbles here! Once again, you've portrayed a few scenarios that had me reeled to my seat! From Light's denail of falling in love with L and his torn segment in which he knew he was Kira, to L's descriptive death, each segment here is pure gold in writing value and meaning! No grammatical errors found here, so great job with your proofreading! I cannot wait to read the rest of your works, as you have shown to me that you have a sure knack of writing! :)
persevera chapter 1 . 9/10/2012
Also don't know Death Note but this is an interesting way to tell a story. Some of the prompts might have been employed a little more effectively. For instance the sea offers so much poetry and life and mystery, it seems a shame to only say "sea of fire". But I really like the response to radioactive
IrishPanther chapter 2 . 9/10/2012
Wow...pretty deep drabbling going on here! Again, love the set-up and love the way that it flows throughout all ten little sniplets to create one beautiful drabble! Light and L just seem to be, to me, two passionate lovers that are caught up in themselves, and when one of them is dead, the other one is on the hunt for the murderer (Kira). The last little sniplet (White) gave me chills; seriously, it was that good! I cannot wait to see the next set of sniplets you've written out!
IrishPanther chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
First off, I like the set up that you've drawn out for this little drabble fic (where ten drabbles kind of make one story). Now I've never seen Death Note so I don't know much about the series and whatnot, but I still liked this story! L dies and Light feels broken inside; I'll admit that the ending kind of tripped me up, but this was an interesting chapter! I found no grammatical errors while reading, so nice job with that! I'll be looking forward to reading your next set of drabbles! :)
MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
This series of short prompts just crackles. They connect well and yet the bond between them feels light, like connecting through string. Each one is written fantastically and I- knowing only the basics of Death Note rambled excitedly through a friend of mine- was pulled into it before I knew it. Each one can tell a whole story within it and leave much to the imagination, which is really what a microstory should do. Both main characters are defined very well through such short bursts and the relationship between them is defined just as well. Fantastic job.
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 3 . 9/1/2012
I am not familiar with this fandom, but from these little blurbs, I'm going to check out what it's about. It's not very often that I catch blurbs, and sometimes they're choppy and don't make any sense. With yours, you had a point (being your word) and the sentence fit each and every one of them.
My favorite word was Desiccation. That was amazing.
But the part that truly captured me was "It paints the world bright and golden and nearly blinding the two men sitting on the roof of one such building." This, to me, is visually stunning.
Amazing job!
Freedom of Creation chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
I love Death Note fanfictions, there don't seem to be many of them worth reading anymore. What I love about this story is that the first chapter just pulls you in, it isn't a one minute wonder like so many other fanfictions I have read. Also another thing I love is that you really do capture the characters well, you really go in and captures their personality. Not many people can do this so well done for keeping them in character. You also don't rush the story which is nice. Well done I loved the story and I am going to continue reading.
Relala chapter 3 . 6/25/2012
The thing that always drives me crazy about you is I never know what to say. You could write me a story about a man tying his shoe and I’d probably love it. Every story you write makes me envious I never wrote it; though I don’t share a lot of your fandoms everything you write is amazing in my eyes. You’re a terrific writer, Cassandra, and I’m grateful I’ve had you to mentor me along the way.

Anyway, moving past my emotional dribble…

Still – I particularly like your description of L in the first sentence. I can see how dark and long his eyelashes are and the way his spoon is only so far away from his hand, as if he’s going to take another bite, just rips my heart out. (An L fangirl? *looks about wildly* Where? Oh…in the mirror) The way the taskforce just left L there on the floor? That part gave me the chills.

Animosity – The way “the air crackles between them” really caught my attention. I think tension is a very good hook for a reader, and your descriptions just kept dragging me in. The “polluted trust” and the part about them being a “chemical reaction” was just brilliant. My only complaint is that this drabble got a little repetitive. You kept mentioning the air and the atmosphere and it just didn’t flow after a while.

Love – One of the greatest things that draws me to your writing is that we always seem to be on the same wavelength. I understand what you write; I can see it happening. I *believe* what you say. I think a lot of people just take for granted that when they come across a good book they can relate to it and believe it, but I’ve had some novels completely ruined for me because I often wondered what in the sam hell the authors were doing. [This is another one of those drabbles were WE NEED TO STAY OUT OF EACH OTHER’S BRAINCASES.]

Torn – “You’re a little late, I’m already tooorrrn.” Also, this is by far my favourite drabble out of this set. The conflict that Light must have experienced with himself when he realized he was Kira isn’t something I’ve seen explored and I was really drawn to that idea. What if Light had decided he didn’t want to be Kira anymore because of his love for L? *goes off to write fanfiction for you*

Bells – I have an obsession with bells. Any sort of bell. So the fact that his drabble started with church bells and cold November rain (nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change) air really endeared it to me without much effort. I can really relate to this. Plus, there are so many songs I can relate it too. (Hells BELLS!)

Denial – I’m a fangirl and I support this drabble. Um, yeah. I’m not terribly sure what else I could say about this except that I love it and I love you and I love this pairing. And I seriously have to go read Death Note.

Black – You’re writing always rips by heart out, Ladybug, and it hurts so splendidly that I can’t complain. The first line “cold seeps into his skin and ice scrapes away at the surface of his bones” makes my heart ache. I know that probably sounds stupid, but it does. It’s the ache that I get after reading a particularly good book.

Homeland – It took me a while to think of a reply to this one because, you know, the thought of L with an accent (and ENGLISH one!) rendered me temporarily speechless as I frothed at the mouth. This is a very ingenius headcannon. Please write something more about it. *puppy dog face*

Irritate – My heart cannot possibly take any more sad things from you today. It’s broken. God, I feel so bad for these two! Stuck in a relationship that’s doomed to never work out and the one not knowing that he’s the cause of it. *pets Light’s head consolingly* Poor baby. [P.S. I adored your analogies.]

Slow – [You’re paying for my heart surgery.] This drabble gave me terrible flashbacks of when I had to watch that crappy movie and basically got you to tell me all the answers and YouTube a certain crappy scene. SLOWMOTION IS FOREVER RUINED FOR ME.

[LOOOK! AFTER ONLY A MONTH OF PROCRASTINATION I HAVE FINALLY REVIEWED IT. *hides*]
Vyscaria chapter 2 . 6/24/2012
While the first chapter dealt more with the issues of life and death, I see the second one seems to delve a bit deeper into their relationship. Again, you've captured the complete tone of Death Note that eludes many authors. Excellent work!

"L stares at Light out of the corner of his eye, fascinated and terrified in equal measure of the way the glass stairwell distorts one half of his face into something twisted and terrible, revealing the killer underneath that L has always suspected was there." was the line I loved the most. I think it kind of perfectly encapsulates their relationship in canon in more ways than one.

Love love love.
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