Reviews for The Titans & The Kitsune
Gabriel177 chapter 2 . 7/20
20 meters 65.616 feet
myulander chapter 1 . 5/11
nice job
SHADOWNINJAMASTER chapter 6 . 9/2/2014
Awesome story I hope you continue
dkflamelord chapter 6 . 8/1/2014
Can I adopt this story
Have a Little Feith chapter 3 . 2/28/2013
Getting detention for writing a story in the English language during an English class? That would be retarded (Hellsing abridged reference).

About the comment about one of the chapters being 6 pages... what was your font size, and was it set to automatically do what fanfiction-net does to fanfictions (read: the spacing in fics)?
GoldThesteral22095 chapter 6 . 2/10/2013
naruto and raven woud make a cute copule
JimistheName chapter 3 . 11/21/2012
You called it the Alternate Dimension Jutsu? Really? You just going to be that blunt with that.


Ok, improve your grammar and for god-sake start capitalizing you NAMES! I mean seriously, Your not in 5th grade(Or at least I don't think)

You have a good story right here which is being ruined by the actual writing.
JimistheName chapter 2 . 11/21/2012
Improve your vocabulary, there are a lot of misspelled words in this chapter
Guest chapter 7 . 11/6/2012
supert history
Milanord chapter 6 . 8/30/2012
hey great story i love it
then is only one more chapter to go?
if you write another story with this pairing i wold like to know how they started a relationship in detail
I'MNOTCRAZY1 chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
"Kitsune" is the Japanese word for "fox". A lot of Naruto fans make the mistake of mixing that word up with "youko", which is the Japanese word for "demon fox", the same word that is used in the manga and anime to refer to the Nine-tailed Demon Fox, the "kyuubi no youko". Stay in one person if at all possible. Defiantly definitely.
Omili chapter 4 . 7/28/2012
Okay, I know the frustration one feel by not recieving many reviews even though the statistics to your story tell you that it is read, tracked and favo'ed by far more people than the few that have taken the time to drop you a line here and there, but blackmailing people into reviewing your chapters is a very cheap move. It also rarely offers the desired results, as many readers will just write about anything (mostly one liners like: I love it hope you update soon. - or even shorter) just to get you to post the next chapter.
Never beg for reviews, it is beneath you and you deserve more than halfassed stuff like that.
Guest chapter 3 . 7/28/2012
You need to be careful with the context of your story. I mean you have Naruto explaining the circumstances of his coming to the Titan's dimension and then say that that was the first time that Raven heard this story as well? Really? Naruto hasn't told the girl he is in love with how he got there and Raven never asked him before? And non of the others asked him about how he got to be in the state he was found in? And he chooses to suddenly part with that tidbit with people he had just met that day present?
Then you have them walking through a 'quiet' park? On new year's? A 'quiet' park on 'New Years'?
Very unlikely.
Also, be aware of mistaking the word 'use' for 'you'. This has happened many times over these three chapters so far.
I did like Naruto's and Raven's little together time away from the group, you could have added a little more romance by simple things like Naruto offering Raven his jacket or something, seeing as it should be fairly cold in December.
Other than that, not bad for something you wrote during detention.
Omili chapter 2 . 7/28/2012
Okay, the background I was hoping for. Good so far.
But you got confused a lot in the beginning wether you are writing in the first or third person.
Also, Author notes don't belong inside your story. If there is something you have to tell your readers so they may better understand, or excuse certain mistakes, do that before the chapter starts, not during it. It really takes out the flow of the story.
And please stop writing 'sore' when you mean 'saw'. That mistake popped up quite a few times.
Think about the Beta reader option again.
As for the character presentation here, I'm not saying Raven can't realize her physical attraction to a well built young man, but I think you overdid it a little here. Not only is the person she found injured and unconcious - which is absolutely not the right time to focus on his abs - but also she is Raven. She may be a lot more free in expressing and acknowledging her emotions (and that is good, don't get me wrong), but she should fall back into old habits (denying/repressing them reflexively) at first. I mean she spent years conditioning herself to be as outwardly emotionless as possible and I don't think that is something she can forget in a matter of some weeks. So maybe a little less focus on her lusting after a stranger would do the trick.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/28/2012
Okay, the story so far is interesting and since Raven is my favourite character I really like what I have read so far, what with Robin wanting her too and Naruto being jealous.
But you need a Beta reader. The spelling mistakes wouldn't be so bad, but there are also some grammar issue's and wrong word usage.
There is also a shortage on details you should have put in, as well as a little more background information on not only Naruto's meeting with the Titans and becoming Raven's mate, but also regarding the relationship status with the rest of the crew.
But as this was a rather short first chapter, the lack of information so far could still be fixed in the following chapters, so I will hold judgement on that. :-)
All in all, it's a good start for your writing, but there is space for improvement.
Really think about getting a Beta reader, they are a tremendous help in many area's.
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