|Reviews for The Difference Between Bravery, Loyalty, and Fear|
| SunnyStorms chapter 1 . 11/13/2012
Interesting beginning. You have a good handle on vivid descriptions with great word choices. I was able to sense Silwen's fear and the threatening, dangerous nature of Voldemort. The only part that faltered for me was Silwen's outbursts right near the end. It lost some of her believability as a character. Keep in mind that Voldemort is a greatly feared being even by grown wizards who do not shy away from murder and torture, so it seemed a bit incredulous that she would dare talk back to him so brazenly (especially when she knew that people she cared about were in his grasp) and without incurring any consequences. This bit too: "It couldn't be because of my casting ability, or because of my prodigious potion-brewing ability..." came across as exceedingly boastful and decreased her likability as a character for me. You have a good grasp on the writing itself, but watch out for going astray on characterizations as that can make or break a story. I do like the dilemma you've set up for her that introduced conflict to the story right away - especially the way you phrased it at the end and comparing the choice she faced to what Harry would have done. (On the SpaG-side, I did notice some errors so if you're interested in revising, feel free to PM-me for specifics).
| Mein Liebling chapter 34 . 9/12/2012
I LOVE THIS STORY! Pure epic awesomeness! Silwen is great!
| BlueNeutrino chapter 34 . 8/9/2012
Aww :3 That was such a sweet little epilogue. Nicely rounded off and a very pleasing way to end it. I'm so happy that they all get their happy endings, Silwen in particular, and it's nice how at last they can all accept each other. I think Silwen will be a wonderful mother to Scorpius and I wish them all the best for the future. Unless, you know, conflict might be cause for a sequel...
All in all, a very nicely written and described 'leaving for Hogwarts for the first time' scene and a great conclusion to the story. I loved it :D
| BlueNeutrino chapter 33 . 8/6/2012
Oh no. It's over. I don't want it to be over. Well, at least it was a good way to finish!
The start of this was very emotional and hard hitting and I'm glad that you included it. I'm sure JKR really wanted her readers to understand the consequences of this kind of violence and I like how you explored this kind of loss and destruction when I've seen a lot of fanfic writers gloss it over.
I like how Edward came out good in the end. Interesting explanation for the two different types of vampires as well - I like how the Buffy ones were accepted as being the "real" vampires though. Too many traditional vampire traits were changed in Twilight for them to be considered "real vampires" in comparison. This introduction kind of went on forever - "I'd like to introduce you to Bella, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Carisle, and...Reneesme, my daughter. We even have a few werewolves, not part pf my family. This is Jacob, Seth, Sam, Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, Colin, Brady, and Leah" If it were me, I'd probably just have said "This is my family and these are my friends." I don't know how he expects Silwen to remember all those names!
The explanation for how Silwen can counteract the effects of veritaserum was good as you have made reference to her occlumency ability throughout the story, but it perhaps could have been done more often if this was planned from the start. It would just feel more well rounded if you'd already shown it in a bit more detail. It was great to see Silwen finally gain her freedom and help defeat Voldemort. I loved the little bit with her and Draco at the end now she knows everything will be alright :)
It was so sweet seeing Draco propose, but I have a question - did you mention that Silwen's name is "Silwen Astoria Greengrass Snape" earlier in the story? If not, just change canon. If you're trying to make Astoria of the books tie in with this then canon!Astoria has a sister called Daphne you'd have to account for, and this entire fic has been AU anyway. Forget Astoria. Have Draco marry Silwen. We've seen more of their relationship than we ever did of Draco/Astoria in the books.
I love how Dr not-so-Horrible got a job teaching Muggle Studies :) That was just a perfect way to round up his story. And I also like how you finished off the Master BUT I reckon it'll take more than that to kill off a Time Lord. Could there be a sequel in there somewhere? Could the Doctor get to the Forbidden Forest only to find that the body has vanished?
The way you rounded off everything at the end was good, although I think Silwen was just a little too accurate in her guesses about Angel and Buffy. I think there should be a little more mystery there so Silwen never fully figures out what their history was.
Silwen wanting to set up a potion shop seems like a wonderful thing to do and I hope that at last she can have a happy ending with Draco. Even though she's lost Snape and Lucie at last she's free :) It was a very nice way to end her story.
Overall, I've enjoyed this fanfic very much. I enjoyed the plot, the characters and your style of writing, and should you write any more of Silwen's adventures in future I'd be delighted to read it.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 32 . 8/4/2012
I loved how action packed this was. Very intense, if a little jumbled, but you portrayed the chaos of the battle well. I like how you've brought so many different elements of different fandoms successfully together. Perhaps there could be more focus on the individual battles next time though, to round up some of the unresolved subplots a little more?
I loved the part with the "black-eye-giving-smoking-guck-squirting-cream-spilling-havoc-wreaking effects". That is just so authentically Dr Horrible. I also adored the part with "Victory to the Jammy Dodgers Team!" XD
There was one little bit I was both amused by but wasn't too sure of - "and an obviously English man fighting Angelus". What does "obviously English man" mean? How on earth could she tell?
Overall it was very good and kept the reader in the moment. A lot was going on, but Silwen's emotions were still portrayed very vividly and I like how you kept Draco and the golden trio in character when they were interacting. It's nice how at last they seem to have some kind of respect for each other since they're fighting on the same side, even if they aren't exactly friends.
I'm very eager to see how you follow this up next time, even though I'm disappointed that this story will be ending soon, but it was certainly very exciting so far and looks set for an excellent finish!
| leafstone chapter 31 . 8/2/2012
great story can't wait for more.
| Marmalade Fever chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
Hi, as you asked, here I am to review a chappy.
First off, it's not bad, but you've definitely got a long way to go. There are a few confusing sentences, like this bit: "he whispered in his voice colder than apathy." I have no idea what that means, to be honest. There's also some redundancies/repetitiveness, like "and he stared with mocking eyes into her eyes." One sort of random rule in writing is that you don't want to use the same word too often, with the exception of common words, of course. Some of it is a little hard to follow, but that might just be because I haven't read your other works.
I know most teachers stress that there should be a lot of imagery, but sometimes there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. It can distract from the moment and make things sound off. I'm not going to give any examples, but I want you to keep that in mind. If you're not careful, you can get accused of "purple prose."
I don't know if I'm being helpful or not. I told you, I don't feel that I'm very good at critiquing. My best advice is to keep writing, keep reading, and really try to identify what you like and what you don't. Find your voice; find the flow of your words. Proofread. Don't give up.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 31 . 7/29/2012
This chapter had a very creepy start, and I loved the atmosphere and the descriptions when Voldemort took Silwen to the cave. I could really feel her pain when she was forced to drink the potion - very powerfully written.
I like that the Volturi have at last showed up. I kinda wanted there to be more conflict, but you dealt with them well and I guess there will be conflict aplenty next time round when the battle begins. The army - "Giants, werewolves, masses of vampires, and of course Death Eaters, inferi and Dementors. Truly, this was the largest army that would annihilate every last speck of hope and idea of rebellion" - certainly sounds very menacing. There was a lot of suspense this chapter and I'm very keen to find out what happens next.
| grangeresque chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
Nice chapter. Same old Voldemort. I like your descriptive writing.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 29 . 7/19/2012
Yes! That was exactly what I was hoping for and more. I love the way you've twisted the events in both BtVS and Doctor Who slightly to fit in with the story, and it was great to finally find out what Angel, Spike and Dru are doing in England. I'm so excited now that the Doctor's turned up. The next chapter's bound to be brilliant!
Again, I love your descriptions in this and your style of writing. You have a wonderful way of forming sentences that make them so pleasant to read and really put the reader in the moment. This always makes your chapters very enjoyable, but with the added action this time round it made it even better. I'm very eager to read the chapter with the Battle of Hogwarts, because I'm sure you'll do it brilliantly.
About the name you found, you should absolutely include "Sybil Luck" in your story. That's so Harry Potter-ish. :D
| BlueNeutrino chapter 28 . 7/18/2012
It's wonderful that you got to meet Eoin Colfer :) I've not read any of his books, but I know how great it is when you get to meet an author you love. I'm very happy for you :D
Favourite chapter so far? I'd say "Everyone's A Hero In Their Own Way" because I liked the interaction between Dr Horrible and Silwen.
This chapter, again, I think you did a good job of making Voldemort disturbingly cruel and evil, and it was nice to see a bit of Draco again to remind the reader of how important he is to Silwen. I also cracked up at the things Silwen was making up for everyone in the room - "I have a big rock. My friends don't and they'll be jealous of me!" - I choked on my tea at that bit. It's almost as if Silwen knows about what may have been going on in Sunnydale.
I do think the story needs pushing forward a bit now. Recently the chapters have been about Silwen getting aquainted with all of Voldemort's allies and there have been lots of meetings, but I think now that she knows everyone something big needs to happen soon. Does Silwen succeed in getting a message to the Doctor? Does he try and rescue her? Has Dr. Horrible made contact with Fred and George? And what are the Volturi going to do? I'd like to see something come of that pretty soon so you can have the next big event leading up to the final battle.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 27 . 7/16/2012
Wow... that was creepy. I'm not even sure what to say now because just reading that chapter made my skin crawl. Ugh. The way you've written the Master in this fic is ten times worse than in DW. Actually, I'd say he's like the Torchwood version of the Master - grittier, nastier, and not at all family friendly. I think I both love and hate it, for the right reasons, of course.
I think I'm really in need of another chapter now just to get that out of my mind. Poor Silwen. Please have the Doctor do something to come and save her sometime soon, because that was just awful. Good, but awful, if that makes any sense.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 26 . 7/15/2012
A very good chapter. I love how you're inroducing conflict into the "Evil Alliance", as I've decided to call it. I wonder how the Volturi will react when Edward tells them the news? I'm also wondering what's going to happen between Silwen and the Master. That promises to be crazy and creepy.
The Master is already disturbing me a lot in this chapter. I'd love it if later on there's a confrontation between him and the Doctor in the final battle over what he's done to Silwen.
Sorry to hear that your mother thinks you're addicted to fanfiction. Even, if it's true, that's not necessarily a bad thing, is it? Because if so, then I'm in trouble! But anyway, glad you managed to update and I'm happy to wait as long as it takes for the next chapter.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 25 . 7/8/2012
I love your take on Edward and how you're making him so creepy. All the villains in this alliance with Voldemort really are very evil, the exception being, rather ironically, the one who is actually a member of the Evil League of Evil.
I do still feel very sorry for Silwen, but I hope that soon she's going to stop being pushed around by everyone else and will find some way of sabotaging Voldemort's plans without him knowing. Although, there is a huge problem with her Unbreakable Vow and Edward's mind-reading ability, so I honestly can't think of a way for her to do this! However, I do very much hope that she can. I'm rooting for her to get revenge on everyone that's hurt her.
I also love the way you write the Master's slightly childish craziness and how he always wants his own way. You're managing to portray him well and I hope to see more of you getting into his head in future chapters.
Interesting idea about why the Volturi want Silwen, and I keen to read more about how they'll react to not getting what they want. I'm also curious to see what the reason behind the vampire Master sending Angel & co. to Voldemort is, so I can't wait for you to reveal everyone's hidden agendas.
| BlueNeutrino chapter 24 . 7/7/2012
I knew Dr. Horrible wasn't really evil! This was a very nice chapter to see him being kind to Silwen, and I like how she suggested he contact Fred and George. They would certainly get along well when it comes to inventing things to help in the battle, and it was a nice bit of creative thinking from you.
I also like the way you portray Silwen's emotions - it's all so vivid and the reader really feels for her about how horrible her situation is.
I'm sure the next chapter will be intriguing when Silwen has another encounter with Edward, who's already coming across as very mysterious and his motives are very unclear. I'm certainly curious to see how that plays out.