|Reviews for The Damned Child|
| AKAAkira chapter 1 . 5/7/2012
Neat start, you've got the moods and every character's personality down very well. Especially for Ruku and Dae; one of them's your personal character, I'm guessing?
You did just as well describing Kloe's trip through Dugald, though I think it might be better if you left a hint as to what led her to leave. (Well, I guess there's that bit she thought about not being in "their way", but something like that's not usually a reason in itself, so it still doesn't give me any conclusion I could leap to.)
You might want to fix up the second sentence of the third paragraph, though; it's a little jarring, reading a confusing sentence that early on, and in the middle of important exposition, no less.