|Reviews for Zip Line|
| Alikia chapter 12 . 10/15/2013
| Alikia chapter 13 . 8/26/2013
You were going really well until about halfway thru then it got a little weird and hard to follow. No matter. Nice going.
| curiositycollection chapter 13 . 3/30/2013
Since you left Leena hanging, literally(!), I had to find out how the story ended!
This would fit right in as an episode on the show.
I am surprised - the Tony storyline didn't get the conclusion I expected. But that's OK. Now I'll keep wondering about him ... (endless wonder).
Loved that Artie and Pete got a case to work together. Great story!
| curiositycollection chapter 4 . 3/30/2013
"He disappeared ... while doing inventory."
A missing Warehouse agent! Nicely done with the revelation.
Good action sequence, too. Great chapter!
| curiositycollection chapter 3 . 3/30/2013
Rough day at the office for poor Leena :)
Jumping though a hole in the space-time continuum?
That seems quite unsafe ...
| curiositycollection chapter 1 . 3/30/2013
Ha! Artie keeps an old book stashed in the fridge? Nice touch.
I like the business with Pete trying to eat his old leftovers. :)
| jkgibbs chapter 13 . 8/11/2012
This was a fun story. One quibble: In Chapter 1, you sent Claudia on a mission to Winnipeg, but in Chapter 13, she's coming in from doing inventory? If she were doing inventory, you'd think she would see/hear the commotion, right?
| Compromised Serenity chapter 13 . 7/27/2012
I didn’t even notice this was a new chapter. I’m kind of sad that you rushed it. Usually your stuff is better polished. I found a few spelling errors here:
“sherry picker” first line
“Myka said, "Artie squashed her."” Third last line
I also noticed missing commas before you lead into dialogue. But wow, sorry, I’ve been writing a memo here and living on punctuation sites for about 6 hours here, so that’s what’s with me “grammar policing” you. It’s so unlike me, because I MYSELF am no good at the mechanics of writing, hence the punctuation websites. I think all you needed to do was read it over once more with your editors eye. Don’t rush things :P
But to the story. I must admit, I was sort of confused in the opening. Last we saw the trio, artie was dangling from Leena’s harness over mid-air…. How did he get back into the basket? And how did he unhook Leena from the line if he was hanging in mid-air? I’m thinking that that there was a step or two missing there. Like did he use a magnet to pull them both to the basket, then somehow reach his foot in it then swing in? I don’t know… unless I missed something in the last chapter?
Oh, I snickered to myself after reading, “Leena breathed a sigh of relief at finally entering the warm, organic-ness of Artie's office” because, somehow, in my 5-year-old-boy-brain, I interpreted that as “breathing in the scent of warm Artie farts” LOL
Anyway. I enjoyed your story. I understand that it was not all written by you, but it was still a very fun read. The ending was great with Pete passed out on the couch with Trailer, then Claudia walking in, clueless to it all. Lol
So Thanks for the read, I look forward to read more by you in the future :)
| Rosa Clearwater chapter 13 . 7/26/2012
XD The awkwardness of this chapter is incredibly funny and adorable :D. Thank you for the quick update :), I need some humor back in my life xD. And I love Claudia's entrance XD
| Rosa Clearwater chapter 12 . 7/26/2012
Quite sorry I couldn't have reviewed earlier! I had been busy in RL that I haven't had time for anything D: D:. But I'm back, and now to the actual review XD:
The suspense is killing me! I really hope Leena is okay and that Artie doesn't fall D:. Guess I've to find out in the next chapter :)
| Compromised Serenity chapter 12 . 7/25/2012
LOL Man I wish the Cherry Picker that I was trying to use had a Joystick! That was too funny with Artie all short and round falling out of the basket.
I must admit, I was getting really annoyed with Leena in this chapter. I get that she’s afraid of heights (assuming that’s what it was), but come one, Artie is like falling to his doom trying to reach her and she is playing possum!
I’m thinking that Myka is going to find some sort of air related artifact, that will make an air cushion for Artie to fall into/onto, then it will safely, and controlled like, drop him to the ground. That’s my assumption and I’m sticking with it! Lol
I enjoyed this chapter and, like I said, the image of plump Artie falling out of a basket in mid-air was great! Though I almost want to say… maybe, it was a little long? What I mean is; they are working on their plan B which is failing. It should have been successful, I’m thinking. I almost feel as if you should get Leena down faster and move along with your story. It was so great with the “Lost Agent” bit, but now I feel as if it has shifted into a fluff piece (though, still with some action), dealing with Leena’s fear of heights. I think it would have been more interesting if all this stuff with “Leena stuck” was going down, while another problem came up in the warehouse. Like an artifact is about to shift there section of the warehouse into a alternant universe, or HG conscious pops into Myka’s head via time machine to warn them of an impending doom! LOL as you can tell, I’m not the writer for a reason. But I do think a sense of emergency from a bigger picture may have made this a more interesting read. Fear of heights with someone not really in any immediate danger, isn’t that terribly action packed… again I go to my love of action here lol
But I don’t want you to think of this opinion as a negative. I am still enjoying your story. It just feels slightly dragged out now, is all. But I do hope that Myka…. or Artie, figures out how to get them out of this pickle :)
| Guest chapter 11 . 7/16/2012
“Hey, K****** - ****. I’m doing this review with my good friend, Claudia Donovan, and grumpy old, Artie, today.”
“Yep,” the tech chimes in, “Ya should be happy with Father Christmas himself here.”
“Hm,” the boss gripes “Father Christmas,” he mumbles, “How can I be Father Christmas, if Father Christmas is already Father Christmas? Though, he’s more like Father I-can’t-handle-a-loss… every time I beat him at chess….. grumble, grumble, mutter, mutter.”
We both scrunch our face towards him, “This is the guy she’s so head-over-heals for? He can’t even articulate a proper sentence.” I say in lack of understanding for your love for him.
Claudia looks to me, “Old chicks are weird” and shrugs her shoulders.
“Apparently,” I sigh. “I still don’t understand why Myka and HG bailed on us to do this review, Claud.”
“Wha-? Myka?” Artie whips his head to look at me, “H.G.? They said something about busy collaging or something now.”
“Collaging?” Both us girls raised our brows in disbelief.
“Yeah, I think so,” the man answers.
Claudia eyes him suspiciously, “What exactly did they say to you?”
“What? Say? How am I supposed to know! At the time I was dealing with important things. Things such as trying to Fix what you did to the Lunar Isle, and—
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she cuts him off before he gains too much momentum.
“Back to Myka and HG!” I shove my face between them.
“Oh, right,” the man adjusts his glasses, “HG said something about Myka and modern day scissors, or something along those lines.” Both Claudia and my jaw’s fall to the ground. “Then I asked if I could join in their art project. I even offered to bring my bedazzler—“
“No, You didn’t?” Claudia’s face goes white. He then gives her an odd look in complete confusion. The redhead continues, “Oh – My – God, Artie!”
“Just, Oh my God!” She repeats.
Artie and Claudia then look to me when they notice my body rocking as I gasp for air; muttering, “scissors, scissors, so many scissors, scissoring scissors, they are scissoring.”
“Ah-oh,” Claudia stands up and wheels my chair to the back of the office, “we lost her.” The redhead then walks back to Artie and the computer, “we’re gonna have to do this review without her.”
“What- what’s wrong with her?” He looks back at me.
“She is, what us young folks would call, ‘Fangirling’ right now.” He shoots the tech a look of puzzlement. “Don’t even worry about it. Let’s just get back to this review… or really, start this review.”
“Okay,” he focuses on the screen, “Just hurry up and get Leena down from there, K.” Artie grunts then adds under his breath, “Should have strung Pete up there. Then we could have taken our time getting him down…”
“Okay, I’m with Kendra here,” Claudia says after that comment, “I wish Myka and HG were here. They seem to be the only ones who actually do proper reviews.”
“Myka, HG, Scissors!” I screech from the back of the room like a banshee.
Artie and Claudia jump. “What the heck, Kendra?” Artie snaps his head to look at me; removing his hands from his ears.
“No, it’s okay, it’s okay,” the tech turns his body and chair, back to the computer, “Just leave her. That was my fault, I used trigger names. I- I, was carless.”
“Just, Review,” she cuts him off, “Let’s review.” She looks to the monitor, “K, you used the ladder again! That was cool.”
“But it’s broken!” Artie grumbles, “How did that happen?” he shoots a look at Claudia, “Did you have something to do with that? Were you playing aro—“
“No!” She interrupts him, “Sheez, you know, just ‘cause something break doesn’t automatically mean that that I broke it, sometimes things, like Artifacts, break ‘cause they’re really, really, old! Some of them are even almost as old as you!”
“Are you done the review yet,” I ask casually; wheeling my chair back to them.
“No, did you want to say something?” Claudia answers unconcernedly.
Artie looks back-and-forth between us, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you two.”
“Nope,” Claudia says at the same time as I say, “Probably not.”
“So?” the redhead asks me, “you gonna add to the review.”
“No way, I’m sulking until she reviews me first,” I say.
“Don’t you think that’s kinda childish of you?” she asks.
“No, childish would be me PMing all the people who normally review her stories; telling them to stop reviewing because she likes to kick Homosexual puppies in her spare time whilst smoking a baby.”
Claudia’s head falls into her hands, “Why do I even bother asking you questions?”
She claps her hand over my mouth, “Ah, I did it again!”
“Can I go now?” Artie complains where we both turn to look at him; Claudia’s hand still over my mouth.
“Yeah, I guess,” the tech says, “Just submit the review now.”
Wordlessly, the man leans in and hit’s the submit button.
| Rosa Clearwater chapter 11 . 7/15/2012
I hope Leena's okay! I'm a tad unsure of what happened to her, but knowing help's on the way I know she'll probably be alright :). I just hope we get to see Artie Evil Kneivel's motorcycle :D :D :D
| Compromised Serenity chapter 11 . 7/14/2012
LOL Loved the Leafs reference at the end! And I know for a fact that Joe is a Leafs fan, God bless her soul, but they suck… hahaha
As you can probably tell, I LOVE hockey. Go Red Wings & The Jets! LOL. Yes, I have two teams. Red Wings, ‘cause I’m originally from Detroit. And the Jets, because I arbitrarily picked them as a kid because I loved aircrafts, hell, still do! Lol broke my heart when Winnipeg lost their team in 96 (I believe it was in 96) though when they came back this past season I almost flew up to Canada to see their first game lol… and I’m going to get back to reviewing your story now, sorry. Like I said, love hockey!
I really liked your “floating ladder” idea. Very cool and unique. You always seem to have the best artifact ideas. And I could actually see the contraption in my head, which is great.
The ‘snorkel’ bit was cute… bleh, don’t like using the word ‘cute’ but it seems like the most apt word for it… but I don’t think I’ll be using it again anytime soon :P
-Erm, have to say something manly now to compensate. *Grunt* scaffolding rungs, good *Beats Chest with fists*
Anyhow… good job, can’t wait for their Plan B
| kendralynora chapter 10 . 7/7/2012
Myka was very Myka-ie with Artie and being all Myka-ish :) That comment makes Logic, you don’t even know! And if that same Myka-ish-ness was rewritten as Artie being HG, it would have been HOT and awww-they-are-so-in-love-ish. But it wasn’t HG, It was just Artie …again
:( ….I miss HG.
Poor HG, Never getting written by mean old K! #$%& - #! %
And Poor Myka, Not getting acknowledged for her review last chapter.
OH THE PAIN OF IT ALL!
PS I’m glad Leena’s lost out in the Warehouse somewhere. She’s boring and not worthy to call herself a Canadian. Big deal she can read auras. I can too, YELLOW! See, nailed it!
PPS-PSS-PSPS You should have let me edit. But it wasn’t that bad, so try not to toss and turn all night as you think about it. Maybe, say 7 tosses, and 5 turns will suffice.
I forgot what you wanted me to review on, but I’m pretty sure you said something to the lines of, yell at me and mention Myka/HG love. So, you’re welcome.