|Reviews for Don't Break the Rules|
| Drusilla Maxima chapter 4 . 11/30/2014
You need a beta reader. Your spelling, while not terrible, needs a second set of eyes. I've noticed several errors (murmered, worridley, accomodate, procceeded). I also noticed a lot of missing commas, which made for some very strange sentences. For instance, you wrote, "Arnold singsonged a grin wide on his face." You cannot "singsong a grin," therefore you need a comma or another word. It should have been written, "Arnold singsonged, a wide grin on his face."
Plot wise, I get that the humour is based on absurdity, but I think it would've been more appealing if the Elders weren't committing crimes or otherwise physically tormenting each other. In the first four chapters, they are really unlikeable.
| beththedreamer chapter 27 . 2/20/2014
I love this story so much. The thing that I love is that you gave all the elders different personalities and of course that it is funny. I wish I would of heard of this story sooner. So keep up the good work and update soon.
| DH Forever Young chapter 1 . 2/18/2014
This crap really sucks! You clearly aren't a member of LDS! And this ''fanfic'' make no sence! You're sick! And aj! this is so disgusting you really make me sick! This, this is the worst fanfic EVER, burn my eyes! Someday, you should go to the church and see with your eyes and feel with your soul and your heart how wrong you are.
| jb-ar-love chapter 27 . 1/21/2014
Awwww! They're so cute! It's great cuz you give each missionary their own personality and you make sure to include them all. These stories also make me laugh out loud. So I applaud thee there too :)
| Confused chapter 12 . 9/2/2013
I'm a little confused cause Church's name keeps alternating between James and Brian
| SamanthaButt chapter 26 . 4/1/2013
Okay, ohmygod, I love this story.
But I have one question- I'm kiinda confused about Elder Church. Is his first name Brian or James? Cause in some chapters, I see Poptarts with Brian, and sometimes, it's James. Yeah I'm kinda lost there. So I would be glad to know!
| FutureElderPrice chapter 12 . 3/24/2013
Omgosh your reference to Andrew's parody of Toddlers and Tiaras :):):)
I love this story haha
| jb-ar-love chapter 25 . 2/4/2013
I freaking love this story :D Every time I get an update I give an obnoxious fan-girl shriek :D I really love how happy the Elders are and how amazing the characters are and... and... and... I just love it :D
| jb-ar-love chapter 1 . 1/19/2013
I really like these stories. They're really fun and just enjoyable to read :)
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
I absolutely adore this fanfic! It's creative, funny and original, I laugh out loud several times reading each chapter. I think the personalities of each character are unique and unteresting, which is great because often I find that fics consisting mostly of ensemble characters are mundane and boring, due to one collective personality. Speaking of ensembles, I've also enjoyed the scenes featuring the Ugandan ensemble characters too, for the same reasons. I especially enjoyed Mutumbo's parts! Technically speaking the story is well written, flows nicely, has correct spelling and is grammatically correct, which is a bonus!
Here are some of my favourite chapters so far:
- Chapter 2: Never Be Alone
- Chapter 5: Dress Conservatively*
- Chapter 6: Do Not Participate in Musical Groups*
- Chapter 8: Do Not Sleep in the Same Bed as Your Companion
- Chapter 10: Do Not Handle Explosives
- Chapter 13: Do Not Drive Without a License
- Chapter 14: Do Not Go on Road Trips*
- Chapter 16: Be a Frugal Photographer
- Chapter 17: Do Not Play Full Court Basketball*
- Chapter 19: Do Not Waste Money on Unnecessary Items*
The asterisked chapters are chapter's I'd LOVE to see a sequel to/ a similar type of story.
I think you are a very creative and talented author and hope you keep writing this story for much much longer!
| Hogwarts Student chapter 23 . 11/20/2012
I love it can't wait for the next update!
| blue1rose2 chapter 23 . 11/7/2012
Lol this one was so adorkable and funny!
(btw i was too lazy to log on)
| anon chapter 23 . 11/7/2012
Oh my god did they have sex on the twister mat?
This was a hillarious chapter XD
| guest chapter 23 . 11/7/2012
haha! Great update! I can't wait for the next.
| BlueRose1313 chapter 21 . 9/13/2012