|Reviews for UnMasked|
| Guest chapter 6 . 1/1
More! More! More! the crowds chant it from the roof tops, More! Please, this is one of the best Canada fics I have read in a long time! Your OC's are so much fun, I love them! Please post more of this story!
| TheAwesomePandaChan chapter 6 . 4/1/2014
I like how they introduced themselves. Gilbert needs karma.
| TheAwesomePandaChan chapter 5 . 4/1/2014
Making him jelly would be fun. I love the sound of drama, and al staying at iggys house.
| Guest chapter 6 . 11/9/2013
| harmlessmelody37 chapter 5 . 8/26/2013
GAAAH I LOVE THIS STORY!
| JT chapter 6 . 8/11/2013
Please this is so awesome hurry up and make another one please :)
| C. E. Grey chapter 6 . 8/7/2013
Haha I love it! and I have only seen like the first 5 episodes! carry on
| Guest chapter 6 . 4/20/2013
please update soon this extremely awesome
| Sakura Ichigo Morihiko chapter 6 . 4/16/2013
Who am I kidding, poor school! XD
Things are DEFINITELY gonna get fucked up now XP
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
please oh please continue this
| bearpolarbear771 chapter 6 . 3/11/2013
update!update!update! please? amazing story. please continue this story. i want to read more.
| Fluttershy chapter 6 . 1/10/2013
Finish this please!
| Aster Frost chapter 6 . 12/22/2012
Uhm, hi! ”
I really like your fanfic and I really wish you could update sooner.
Uhm…you only have minor details that I’m worried about:
-“‘HA Are you telling the awesome what to do!’ Gilbert laughed along with Antonio” – “Are you telling the awesome what to do,” is more of a question than an exclamations so you might want to change that. You can write, “‘HA! Are you telling the awesome what to do?’ Gilbert exclaimed, laughing along with Antonio” or something along those lines.
-“‘Please...’ Mathew begged ‘Not today.’” – You can write, “’Please,’ Matthew begged, ‘Not today…’”
-"Gilbert lets go Andale! A teacher is coming!" – “Lets” is a verb used when typing in the present tense. Please don’t get it confused with “let’s.”
-This chapter is pretty much filled with dialogues. A little more detail would be nice.
-“Mathew couldn't understand. How can people mistake him for his brother?” The flow of these two sentences is a bit...odd. I think you can improve the flow by putting these two sentences together.
-“He was stereotypical American. McDonald's lover and football captain.” Again, the flow of the sentence.
-“It hurt more than the usual one's Gilbert gave him.” – “It hurt more than the usual ones Gilbert gave him.”
-“’Its the bruising isnt it.’Luna asked shifting on her bed to sit up. Her voice was droisy and her spanish accent was clear in her words. Luna was from Mexico and spoke alot of Spanish.” – “’It’s bruising, isn’t it?’ Luna asked, shifting on her bed to sit up. Her voice sounded drowsy and her Spanish accent wasn’t clear on her words. Luna was from Mexico and spoke a lot of Spanish.” – Note that when one is drowsy, they would usually mumble.
-“Whoever you are 'Gilbert,'- Luna thought-, you messed with Mathew way too many times. Oh Now it's time for the girls to step in.” – You don’t have to use “ – “ whenever you’re writing thoughts since you’ve already used a comma.
-“Monotonously” is used quite often. Please find a synonym in order to avoid redundancy.
-“Luna said this time it was a road house kick ,cortousy of Sally, to the face,which amazed pretty much everyone.” – “Luna said, this time, it was a roadhouse kick—courtesy of Sally—to the face, which amazed pretty much everyone.”
-You forgot to italicize some words that weren’t in English.
-Please give a “heads up” whenever you decide to change the point of view from third person, to a certain character’s.
-"’There slightly bruised so I gotta take it easy.’" – “’They’re slightly bruised so I gotta take it easy.’” Please don’t confuse “they’re” and “there.”
-"’No its okay!’ Mathew yelled back. His voice was quivering.” – “’No it’s okay!’ Matthew yelled back, his voice quivering.”
Uhm, you have a lot of minor errors. A little more detail in the characters’ actions would be nice. Beware of your spacing and punctuation. I suggest getting a beta reader so that you can improve your work and turn a good story with an awesome plot, to a fantastic story with an awesome plot.
Also, this has been bugging me for a while, but do Matthew’s parents know about his band? And Matthew’s dealing with school, hockey, and being an international masked singer—how does he balance out his life?
I really like your story and I hope that you would keep on updating. :D
I’m sorry if I sound condescending. I don’t mean to, but sometimes, I am. I’m just being honest but I tend to sound a little bit rude. I hope I didn’t offend you because I am a fan of this particular story. I would hate it if I upset you.
I'll be looking forward to your story updates. :)
| Mr. Ochinchin Head chapter 6 . 12/22/2012
Waa Why did I get any new chapter alert? But who cares, this story is Awesome! Hey, if you decide do add Lars, how about adding Ivan too? It would be X10000000 more awesome!
| blacknightwolf1 chapter 6 . 12/12/2012
Aww, yay! I am still enjoying this story very much. More please! I cant wait until they have another concert! I love those scenes.
I also like Sally and Luna and Zoey. I am most like Sally and Luna, EXTREMELY HYPER but also very violent and overprotective. I love how you write out their personalities through their actions.