Reviews for Dreamscapes
Shogun0 chapter 21 . 12/21/2014
Oklaaaaay this is ...uh...interesting. more twilight as hardcore porn. Thats was more graphic than penthouse forum. Here is my take. Bella is not really choosing Jake out of love - not really. Not because Jake has been good or kind or open and honest with her at all times. Not because Jake gave her his heart knowing that she may not (in fact probably would not) return his feelings -at least not openly. Not because he stood by her when she was hateful and cruel and downright ugly too him. Not because she can be herself around him and he makes her feel beautiful and wanted even though Jake is every bit as stunningly beautiful as Dedward and even more so since he is alive and Bella would never have to feel she needs to change to be equal to it or worthy of it.. Jakes beauty is not the adaptation of a predator of humans. and it is not solely on the outside like dedward. She isnt choosing him because he is just so right for her when EVERYTHING about Dedward is wrong and wrong for her.
Nope. Bella isnt choosing him for any of those reasons. She is choosing him because she had sex dreams and she's horny after spending all that time with the corpse who treats her more like a his pet doggy than a flesh and blood female. and while dedward may make her heart stutter a bit Jake makes her motor run. She needs to get laid and she figures Jake is the better man for THAT particular job. Her dreams told her he is going to be the monster fuck of her young life. They aren't back in each others presence 10 minutes when they are going at it like rabbits. Now while that's actually kind of humorous and it certainly makes for some...enlightening reading, the story loses most of whatever charm, romance, drama and warmth that it might have had and that most people read twific for. You might want to take into account that very few (as in almost nobody) couples are quite this uninhibited with each other until they get to know each others likes and dislikes. Not every girl likes to get fucked like the dude is drilling for oil while shouting all kinds of obscenities in her face at the top of his lungs. Not the first time anyway. But the real issue I have with this is: There is simply no tenderness or warmth or caring from a young man and woman who have managed to find there way to each other against tremendous odds and after overcoming enormous obstacles. This is simply 2 people getting off as graphically as possible.
Guest chapter 15 . 12/20/2014
Your version of Jake is as bad as Bella although totally opposite. Bella is scared witless by lifes "what if". What if I get old, what if I need protecting, what if Jake leaves, what if he imprints..what if...what if...what if.. Jakes what if's are more positive but no less absurd when looked at in the light of day. What if I could convince bella to..stay, not get changed, what if she gave in to her feelings for me, have a shred of positivity about life (Bellas thoughts about being uninteresting to men seem self serving at best considering the attention she got on first arriving in forks. It seemed more like men were not interesting to HER as opposed to the opposite)what if Bella gave a crap about somebody..ANYBODY really other than herself and her own feelings..what if..what if.. what if...Nobody builds a life out of or based on what ifs. You take the what ifs as they come and you live the best you can anyway and you live for today. Setting goals? Sure. good thing. Trying to plan for avoiding any and all negative things that may possibly befall you? Seems that even being a walking corpse is no shield or guarantee against bad things happening to you when you consider that most of the vamps would not choose to be what they are if given the choice that Bella has. Being a corpse has simply brought its very own set of "what ifs". For Bella getting changed will simply bring another set of much harder to face what if's.
Guest chapter 14 . 12/19/2014
Seems to me like Jake has the perfect set up. Bella in his dreams. He doesnt have to put up with her diseased soul. Jakes dream is better than porn the way you put it. Bella sucks cock like she gets paid for it, fucks like a porn starlet and there is no bullshit to put up with. Why would jake want the real thing when its a dead solid bet it will not even come close. AND he will have to put with bella making him miserable. It sure will not be hot and cold running blowjobs. Not only that but he can fing himself a woman that is human like Mina. Best of both worlds.
Guest chapter 12 . 12/19/2014
Whatever the psuedo-porn is getting boring. Maybe you could have Bella die a horrible death? Get screwed to death by dedweirds icicle pee-pee? After all its what she wants.
Guest chapter 11 . 12/19/2014
She could watch from afar and DELUDE herself into THINKING she did the right thing. Bella will always be able to be selfish and sick AND make herself believe that doing only what she wants, making sure she gets what she wants no matter who gets hurt is the "right thing". Bella is incapable of doing the right thing for anybody but herself of will always be a small ...whatever ...vampire, person. so she would always need protection since Dedward is the one who keeps getting her in all the danger (another point that Bella, fucking idiot that she is, misses). But what you described is correct. Bella is a fucking coward, deathly afraid of life on its own terms. Esme the perfect mother? No. She was a woman who wanted marriage and motherhood and a simple life it was taken. Carlisle who is just selfish and twisted as most of the sparkles wanted an insta -family. Existing forever is something that Esme would never have chosen on her own. According to Bellas logic any woman approached by a man more physically attractive then her should just automatically lay down strip, open her legs and let the man fuck her. after all..who is she to turn him down right?
Guest chapter 10 . 12/19/2014
Bella wouldnt know the truth if it walked up and hit her in the head with a bat! Bella Never NEVER wanted Dedward for WHO he was. She knew nothing about who he was as a person but the few heavily sanitized facts he wanted her to know. Such as - Yes he killed humans but because they were bad, bad people. Certainly not because he wanted human blood. So he went to movies with heavy violence or sexual themes for that time. when someone had a dark or naughty though (since Dedward is so pure)he figured he would murder that one to "save" someone. Bottom line the only significant thing Bella knew about the sparkler was 1. he was a half assed vampire 2. he was 17 for a while 3. he was pretty 4. he played decent piano and lastly he talked funny and treated her like a pet poodle. That aint much information for a walking corpose that she intended to marry AND die for so she could spend forever with his abusive ass.
Guest chapter 9 . 12/18/2014
I think you should probably be writing porn and stay away from twilight fic. Too much emphasis on the lemons and not enough on this moronic its always a good thing when Jacob gets his and for whatever reason he wants it from mousy Bella when he could get from a woman with a heart and a soul instead of an empty shell, most first timers dont fuck and suck and pillow talk like porn stars that have been at it for years. You summed it up fairly well earlier so im not sure why you went in this direction. Even dreams stay withing the envelope of he dreamers experience. Most people having sex with each other for the first time are not quite this...uninhibited untill they get to know each others likes and tolerances.
Guest chapter 7 . 12/17/2014
The main problem with this fic besides its abysmal pacing and trite silly dialog is that I just know you are going to screw Jake over by saddling him with this useless excuse of a lowlife.. For Bella and to get Jake after all this is sooo NOT a good thing. It is not a happily ever after. The only thing to be happy about would be if she got hit by a bus twice.
Guest chapter 6 . 12/17/2014
That wasnt sad at all it was just creepy. Bellas view on the corpse is really Strange. I mean could she be any more pathetic?. While I feel for Jake. Bella needs to go and die. Dedward a god? Thats a fucking joke. A mass murderer with a shred of humanity. Please kill this disgusting escuse for a human off.
What a coward.
Guest chapter 5 . 12/17/2014
LOL that was great. Bella giving Jake head. Well the kid deserves something for all of the crap he puts up with. Dedward? Who gives a shit about him. or Bella for that matter.
Guest chapter 5 . 12/17/2014
While the Cullens money may not come from illeagal means it is certasinly dishonest and unethical. The sparkles dont worry about such "human" concerns since they are not human.
Guest chapter 3 . 12/17/2014
Poor Jake. He can do so much better than this creepy, mousy little thing. Maybe you could kill Bella off? Have the corpse rip her head off by "accident" Then he could try and crazy glue it back on. then Jake would be free of her nonsense and find a human.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/17/2014
Holy shit. Bella is about as creepy as it gets. Even though Dedward is a controlling, manipulative abusive skinny, pasty fop, at least he cant help what he is. Bella doesnt understand that he isnt human. He does not care what she thinks or what she wants. He is incapable of caring or loving her in a human way or relating to her like that. Its an act. Just like breathing for him. Its fake.. He feels for her like a pet and you dont let pets shit on the rug. You train them and Bella IS trained. To not question Dedward. Everything he has done to her is such a SMALL thing. Leaving her. deceiving her, controlling where she goes or what she does. questioning her judgement and her intelligence, physically restraining her. Thats not love its abuse and its co-dependency and its twisted and sick.. You do a fair job of showing how selfishly diseased bella soul is, How rotten it is on the inside. What a poor excuse of a person being she is. She does not deserve to have anything to do with Jake.
alh1971 chapter 9 . 12/7/2014
Chapters like this are why you are one of my favorite lemon writers. ; )
alh1971 chapter 5 . 12/6/2014
Damn I love this story. Rereading with pleasure...
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