|Reviews for Akatsuki Yaoi|
| billy swartinage chapter 1 . 10/24
this is gay porn right there
| damariss chapter 1 . 7/28
ticci toby x deidara
jack eyeless x itachi
pain x diana
masky x tobi
| damarissitzamar chapter 1 . 7/28
masky x tobi
| Mikazuki miyuki chapter 1 . 6/21
Can you teach how to write this
| emobaby456 chapter 1 . 12/17/2014
I thought it was a well written story. I enjoyed reading it.
| Alde Wicht chapter 1 . 5/10/2014
I love it, how the affection of both characters feel for each other. But when you write, make sure to put it in paragraphs, because it's quite a pain for the eye to have it in all in one text. But in that, keep a good work in your stories, :)
I am going to make a yaoi story as well, I'm still writing my story, so far I made a cliffhanger or the to be continued.
For the rating for the story, I'll give it 8 out of 10 :D
| nini minay chapter 1 . 4/5/2014
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/22/2014
You left decent description, but in general more. Press Enter on occasion (in the right spots). But it was good, very sexy :)
| Rival Lover chapter 1 . 2/13/2014
Oh dear God, no. You've just left us a whole block of text. It's not very pleasant and hard to read and/or skim over. Use 'enter', at least so we have pleasant little pockets of text.
You lacked any feeling in this story. While you gave us enough details to know what Itachi and Deidara were doing, you could have put in details such as 'Deidara felt so happy feeling the skin of Itachi's against his- his heart gave resounding thumps that painfully burst against his ribs, etc, etc', anything like that. Also- there was no back story. No back story at all. Were Deidara and Itachi in a bed? In a cave? In Orochimaru's rape dungeon? What had previously happened? How did they end up like this? What is their previous relationship and where are the rest of the Akatsuki? Would they accept Deidara and Itachi?
Sorry if you don't like this review. I don't mean to be mean, but this site is for us all to learn about our writing. You have a good basis, but try and put some emotion into it. I love the last line 'I thought I hated you, but it turns out I love you'. But you spelt 'since' wrong and said science. heheh.
| midnight chapter 1 . 2/11/2014
I loved it it made me giggle
| epiclyawesomesauce chapter 1 . 2/12/2014
Umm this story is not rated T it should be M you could get reported but i like the way your mind this this is a great story! :D
| GilHaruxBreakRin chapter 1 . 1/14/2014
3 3 3
| akirakunsatosan chapter 1 . 12/7/2013
This is sooooo freaking cute, I can't live anymore.
| Ari Kato chapter 1 . 9/29/2013
Ugh! I hate yaoi, your a fag and I hope you die
| SprinklePie chapter 1 . 9/1/2013
Ummmm... Nice story un...