|Reviews for Newborn Troubles|
| Shellbean chapter 3 . 8/21/2013
Hey There chope1975,
This is a great story so far. I'm really looking forward to more chapters. I'm hoping, and it seems so that Bella has control over her urges for blood thus far. Shellbean:)
| Mistress-Wolfe chapter 3 . 7/11/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
| jacklynngrey17 chapter 3 . 3/24/2013
WHY DID U STOP UPDATING?! MORE, MORE!
| Micro Magic chapter 3 . 12/5/2012
It's not bad. But the typos need some serious work. Although you do get the emotional side down, and you've managed to change the course of action in the story by avoiding everything that was meant to happen in the story.
I see potential in where it might be heading.
| Becca Austen chapter 3 . 11/3/2012
Your insight into the Twilight story is interesting to see. I think the premise here is good. However, as a reader, all of the POV shifting is annoying. I would either stick to one POV overall (Like Stephenie Meyer does in the first three books of Twilight) or I would only do a POV shift when there is a major scene change. Also, you shouldn't need to label the POV shifts. Use your writing to show the reader who's POV we're in. Take the training wheels off an just ride the bike.
Good luck and keep up the writing. Sometimes, the hardest part isn't fixing what's wrong, but writing the words in the first place. The only way to overcome that is to put your butt in the chair and keep your fingers on the keyboard.
| 1avidfan chapter 3 . 9/16/2012
I am enjoying this story. I always wanted more of Bella after she was changed. It is very good for a first story and I hope you plan to finish it. I have read other stories you have written on the 50 shades themes and have enjoyed them very much.
| heather218 chapter 3 . 7/30/2012
I love it...I hope you will finish.
| klayredo chapter 3 . 7/26/2012
hi i love this story and the way you wrote it. is there any plans for more chapter's? i hope so as the version you have done it is amazing x i have follwed all your stories and love your style of writtng i hope there is to be more, with both twilight & fifty.
| Becca Austen chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
Interesting idea for a story.
| Cullen Cousin chapter 1 . 5/15/2012
Not bad at all for a first time! Keep up the good work!
| Louise chapter 1 . 5/9/2012
This is great. Can't wait to see what happens when bella wakes up. How is Bella's parents going to handle this?