Reviews for Touhou Doujin: The Forbidden Love of Yukari Yakumo
RandomNumbers523156 chapter 1 . 4/8/2013
Ah, forgot to say: now I want to write a fic in which Imperfect Metamorphosis!Yuuka meets Tokage.
RandomNumbers523156 chapter 15 . 4/8/2013
After finishing this I looked to my barf and laughed. Tokage gave me a good chuckles.
RandomNumbers523156 chapter 3 . 4/7/2013
"heliotrope..." Tokage must really love her thesaurus.
Timeskipper chapter 15 . 8/24/2012
I... I'm speechless. So I don't think that I'll be saying anything except...
You thought I'd let you off THAT easily? Ok, I'm starting to sound like a madman. Sorry, hehe.
Anyway, that's it: "Au nom de touts de choses saintes!" is better said as "Dans le nom de tout ce qui est sacré!". And that's all!
Anyway, it's strange for Yukari to be so... forgiving. As for Yuuka... I dunno, she's always seemed the kind of person who likes to surprise people. Will she passingly thank Yukari and everyone else for providing her with a toy that nobody will ever stand up for? I wouldn't put it past her, she's that kind of magnificent bitch...
Oh, is that some fanboying I see here, Timeskipper? Bad, bad boy... remember what you said not long ago about liking a story in its entirety and not making favouritisms for characters? I think you need a little lesson...
*is dragged by Yuuka while pitifully begging for mercy*
*an hour later* ouch! Man, my arms still hurt from all that hanging around (Incredibly lame pun)...
Anyway, congratulations on your... masterpiece of... bleargh. And until next... ugh... time.
Timeskipper chapter 13 . 8/24/2012
No, Hebiko, let her. It seems that Tokage forgets things very quickly, it's not that it won't affect her too much. Ugh, what am I saying? Thinking of letting YUUKA, of all the people, dish out justice? In that regard, you may have made Tokage into a straw character a little too much... she's so over-the-top that it's hardly believable. Oh, well, comedy needs the hopeless idiot, so who am I to argue?
Now, what was I... Oh, riiiight... *evil Yuuka-like smile* Correction time! MUHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
Anyway, here's the corrections (I warn you, this time I added some stylistic corrections to make Jean's rant sound more like real french. It isn't a literal translation, but it's more or less equivalent): "Mon Dieu! Bon, je sais que je ne devrais pas utiliser les notes de ce dactylo pour mes rodomontades, mais quoi d'autre peux-je faire? Je vais devenir fous si je ne me décharge pas quelquepart, ce livre est TERRIBLE! Je voudrais qu'elle soit arrêtée/istitutionnalisée, je voudrais qu'elle cessait de flirter avec moi, je voudrais qu'elle arrêtait de m'appeler Michel! Mon nom est Jean! JEAN! J-E-A-N!"
Timeskipper chapter 7 . 8/24/2012
Why oh why did I try to read this?
Davis, I gotta hand it to you: you got a steely stomach. I wanted to throw up after reading two-three chapters, and you managed to WRITE it! What's your secret?
Urgh, anyway, Yukari's really, REALLY gotten soft. Yuuka does far worse than killing you for far less than being slandered. Heck, she wasn't even MENTIONED yet she... ugh. Yep, Yukari's really gotten soft. Guess even she can't compare to an Outer... oh, sorry, wrong 'verse. Though probably, THAT Yuuka's reading this, if you know what I mean.
Nicolas Crossworth chapter 15 . 6/7/2012
...Okay, I disappear for three days and it ends? Hmm better go back to the chapters I missed.

Some typos eh? you misspelled Goddess.

Chuu-san lives? okay I have to read the past chapters...

Majestic rod of dihdihdihidsndssdashas O_O

My mental image,... it burns!

"I love you, Yukari and Dawitsu..." Hachuurui softly mused.

'"We love you too, Tokage..." Dawitsu and Yukari said simultaneously, their consciences melding like an ephemeral mixture of true love as Yukari got out of bed, and joined Hachuurui and Dawitsu in a hug of true and loving love...'

Self Insert, GET!

wow, Tokage you alright? you seem... under the weather, heh well not like that I care, anyway so it ends! the horrific crack fic of a nightmare ends!(?) a wonderful job well done!
Metroid Life chapter 15 . 6/7/2012
Ah, Yuyuko. Hungry ghost and part-time Deus Ex Machina. Yukari shouldn't need her help, I'd think, but I guess Yuyukari is... interesting.

"the great treachery of Yutaka had made her unable to hit the malevolent succubus" Do you mean she dodged? How that treachery? *keeps reading*

So the fusion didn't help, and Yukari won by BLEEDING on Yutaka. What was the point of the fusion if it DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! Did the fusion give her blood that power? No, Yuyuko said it was because Yukari is "pure", so that can't be it.

"smart, intelligent, and strangely beautiful lizard woman named Hachuurui..." Ok, so they're in bed, talking, and Dawitsu has the idoitcy to complement some other girl? That's just rude... And you called her Tokage, I noticed... well, at least you admitted it's you... and they're right, the ending's a little rushed... even Yuuka was mad about that. I... I shutter when I say this, but I honestly want to see waht you would have written untramatized, just because that probably would have been better. And so the story ends... I guess.

If this be the last time I say anything to you, Tokage, then I guess I should say... good job. This could have been SO, SO much better, but you honestly aren't that bad a writer, and if you had a editor to help you, why, it could have been great. Well, I suppose I won't see you next review, but I might see you around. Goodbye, Tokage, and I wish you the best of luck.

Your friend,

Metroid Life
MUS3 chapter 14 . 6/6/2012
This is some weird Harry Potter stuff being pulled off here.. At least that's what I thought when I read this chapter.

P.S. Go Yuuka!
MUS3 chapter 13 . 6/6/2012
And Satori proceeds to have her character completely butchered as with every other character introduced in the story.

While, the story itself is entertaining in its various ways, I actually find the reviews to be the most enjoyable parts of the story. It almost feels like the reviews are subtly developing the characters in your main stories.
MUS3 chapter 12 . 6/6/2012
ALAS! I am not dead! Busiest summer in my life so far -_-

And wow I think Tokage broke a record by introducing a self-insert and killing it off in 2 chapters..

Saw the Dodgeball reference too. Classic movie.
Metroid Life chapter 14 . 6/5/2012
Is making love all there is to romance to you, Tokage? I'm certainly not a expert on romance, but I'd say there's a lot more... well, everything. "deathly blood-pink blossoms" Blood isn't that color, and Yukari's a friend of Yuyukos... you'd think she's used to the Netherworld. "black, filled with the ebony black darkness of a black raven in the midnight black dark night." You could have just said, "complete darkness", Ms. Redundancy. "kicked Satori in the gut, making her fly into a building and burst into a million evil flames." Why? Why did she catch on fire and die? And you think you're the GREATEST WRITER IN THE WORLD! NO. I was going to save your from Yuuka, but now I going to let you suffer. Maybe this will teach you some humility... but I doubt it. See you next review, Miss Tokage.
Metroid Life chapter 13 . 6/3/2012
Satori? Unattractive? Tokage, you're clearly blind. Also, congradulatons on using the word "troglodytic" correctly. I'm not sure why Satori would want Yukari as a pet, though. You can't really keep her on a leash, and she's not supposed to be underground anyway... does your version of Yukari have some kind boundary working that makes everyone want her? You'd think she would have turned that off... Ohhh, that's why! A Yandere! I dislike Yandere!Satori, but at least this is interest- *reads kissing part* Eww! That's not what I meant, Tokage! Not that kind of interesting! And you call her evil too? Honestly, lonliness doesn't equal evil! And another thing: WHERE THE HELL(no pun intended) ARE RIN AND UTSUHO! "lying Satori lying there" Redundant writing is redundant. Now then, I really do feel sorry for Jean... she gets his name wrong, she tortures him with her obliviousness... oh, how I wish I could feel your pain... erk. That, that didn't come out right... I, I meant that I sympathize with him, that's all... it's not like I want his job or anything... Oh, and Yukari? She WILL misinterpt that, the word "united" was it, hehe... Wait, what are you doing, Yuuka? Don't you hurt her, SHE'S MINE!
Nicolas Crossworth chapter 12 . 5/31/2012
Deep wonderful Koishi.. Anyway,

"After all the millennia we have battled, all the incarnations we have been through, I will finally be the victor of this battle!"- O_O wait, wasn't this Yutaka a normal youkai before all if this mess happened? Incarnations, wait, so she knew Chuu-san long before they met in this series?

"No-one makes me bleed my own blood!"- hehehe, AHAHAHAHA! *It seems that it took him ten minutes of his time before forming complete sentences* Hah,hah, it's the 'people die when they are killed' meme in its second form! HAHAHAHA!

Hehe, Yukari vs Yuuka, Where's my wallet, I'm betting for the flower youkai!
Metroid Life chapter 12 . 5/30/2012
"orbs of light" I knew it. It was only a matter of time before you called eyes "orbs" Weirdly enough, I'm cheering for evil Yutaka in this one. She'll destroy this horror show, for sure...

'"No-one makes me bleed my own blood!"' Ok, that's hilarious! All in all, this... wasn't all that bad. Yes, the story is rather stupid, but by this point I don't care. Yukari pointed out the flaws better than I could, so now... I'm just going along for the ride. Jean and Koishi were certainly right about you, though, Tokage. Still, I don't mind the insane, they make things interesting... Anyway, Yukari vs. Yuuka... and they've never fought before! Oh yes, I must find this... See you next review...
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