|Reviews for Seraphim|
| imasyon chapter 9 . 2/16/2013
I don't know if you care, but the German translation just hurts me a bit. So here some suggetions:
"Du verfluchter made! Der junge stirbt! Ich werde dafür sorgen, dass sie!"
- Du verfluchte Made (sounds awfully archaic, but I suppose with the Erlkönig's daughter that's alright...). Der Junge stirbt! (wird sterben sounds better in my ears, but that is just what I think). Ich werde dafür sorgen! (the "dass sie" makes no sense. Confused the hell out of me).
"Der junge wird zum Mann erneut. Sie haben keinen Anspruch auf sein leben. Ihr werdet alle sterben heute abend für alle ihre Verbrechen,"(2) I tell her.
First sentence is technically speaking ok, wording sounds old though. (Der Junge wird wieder zum Mann would be a more modern translation. Also make sure to write Junge in capitals). "Sie haben keinen Anspruch auf sein Leben". The chick is quite polite, I gotta say. If you want to tone down the sentence make it "Du hast keinen Anspruch auf sein Leben". Last sentence is grammatically weird. Makes more sense like this: "Heute Abend werdet ihr für alle eure Verbrechen sterben" or "Für alle eure Verbrechen werdet ihr heute Abend sterben." That is, if you're writing in plural. If it's only concerning cas you'll have to change it to: Heute Abend wirst du für alle deine Verbrechen sterben. Also, if you wanna make it polite, just like with the Sie, then you'll have to write "Heute Abend werden Sie für alle Ihre Verbrechen sterben". Problem with German, we have more ways to say "you" than you do in English.
"Sie drohen mir? Die Erlkonig Tochter? Lernen Sie ihren Platz, Mensch."(3)
Again, if you wanna make it polite, first sentence is ok. If not: "Du drohst mir?"
Next sentence is weird. "Die Tochters des Erlkönigs?" would be better. "Lernen Sie ihren Platz" is probably too literal a translation from English. There are many ways to translate it, like "Sei dir deines Standes bewusst!" or "Füge dich in deine Rolle!" or things like that. I unfortunately don't have a nice suggestion for this one :(
"Es gibt einen Unterschied zwischen einem Menschen und einem Engel. Möglicherweise habe ich meine Kräfte verloren, aber ich bin noch immer ein Engel Gottes."(4)
First sentence is ok. You could shorten it by saying "...zwischen Menschen und Engeln.", but that's up to you. Möglicherweise in the second sentence is misleading, because it makes him look like he is not sure of that fact (which he is) so literal translation to what you want to say is "Ich mag meine Kräfte verloren haben, aber ich bin noch immer ein Engel Gottes.".
that's all for the German bits (I'm from Switzerland, so some orthographic differences might have sneaked in). Other than that just lemme tell you that I love your fic and just wanted to have German readers enjoy the bits in German as well 8D
| SayLo chapter 27 . 11/5/2012
Such a freqking good story! I love it and. I love you for writing it
| Makoto chapter 4 . 9/3/2012
A PRIEST is telling AN ANGEL what the Holy Trinity is?
And smartass Sam...
don't know where it is heading so I'm going to read it I'm curious ...
hope it will make sense at the end
| Rose chapter 4 . 8/21/2012
Hi. Having been raised as a Catholic, the Doctrine of the Holy Trinity has been explained to us since we were children. You did a very good job of explaining this in simple terms for your readers. Keep it up!
| keacdragon chapter 27 . 6/5/2012
| keacdragon chapter 24 . 5/31/2012
Wow! Love this!
| keacdragon chapter 20 . 5/31/2012
Yoda to your Obi-Wan Kanobi
Qui gon jinn was yoda's apprentice and then Kenobi's mentor, just wanted to clear that up as I love Quigon
| xxemiliahxx chapter 13 . 5/21/2012
Okay, it's official. I love this story. Keep it up :)
| xxemiliahxx chapter 10 . 5/21/2012
Oh my goodness Dean admitted he has feelings!
| xxemiliahxx chapter 5 . 5/21/2012
The mention of the Erlkonig made me smile; I remember it from when we studied Schubert in my history of music class :D
| My2BrownEyes chapter 12 . 5/20/2012
Very interesting turn of events. It certainly gives Cas motivation. Having him realize he returns Dean's feelings first softens the blow that there was another. So good choice there. And it did happen oh so very long ago. I do worry about Dean, though. That was a huge revelation for him, and now he learns this huge new thing about Cas. I look forward to the next chapter.
| buchouslvr chapter 8 . 5/17/2012
i love kid dean and sam in the zoo. Too bad they got to Sam i hope cas plan will be a sucess
| My2BrownEyes chapter 8 . 5/17/2012
Nice chapter. It's interesting seeing Cas having to play the role of a father and be back protecting Dean again. I'm looking forward to the next one.
| DDValentine chapter 4 . 5/17/2012
I find it ilogical that an angel can not grasp the idea of the Trinity. I know most of our beliefs about angels are not valid in Supetnatural but this kind of information is kind of too big for them not to umderstand or know. Still I love the fic and ; yes many people don't get it ,(the Trinity) but you explained it very nicely.
| DDValentine chapter 3 . 5/17/2012
Something about Castiel fixin a car is just so sexy. He can come and give me a tune up any time he wants lol. I love where this is going.