Reviews for Return of the Doctor's Daughter
Silver-Freddy chapter 2 . 1/4
awesome!
but...wheres the rest?
Tardislover1301 chapter 1 . 2/9/2014
This is AMAZING. I need MOAR PEAS!
Chaotic Time Lady chapter 2 . 7/8/2013
I have only one thing to say: MOAR!
StarlightWhovian chapter 2 . 4/20/2013
MOARMOARMOARMOAR!
StarlightWhovian chapter 1 . 4/20/2013
This is awesome! Sad, and breathtaking, but still awesome!
Guest chapter 2 . 1/27/2013
Mooooooooooooooooore!
Guest chapter 2 . 1/26/2013
When are you going to update?
Marc Ello chapter 2 . 1/23/2013
Really messed up that death comes to such a peaceful universe, but this has caught my attention. Plus U love dr who fics with jenny and the dr! Please continue!
Luigi's Wacky World chapter 2 . 1/23/2013
Something is coming... from the shadows... something terrible... only the Doctor and his daughter, Jenny, can hope to stop it... especially now that the Elements are out of commission for the time being... they must prevail... or all is lost... FOREVER...
SONGUE chapter 2 . 1/22/2013
Now that's what I call worthy of following!
Julian Delphiki chapter 1 . 12/23/2012
You need to stop making good crossovers and then not updating them. It isn't fair.
Sailor Pandabear chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
interesting and Rarity died?
S.H.I.E.L.D-Agent-Phoenix chapter 1 . 6/19/2012
Interesting update soon
Number Six-Sixtysix chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
Okay, there are a number of minor problems here. Individually, they're not really bad, but cumulatively, they do detract from the story. The first is that you keep describing Scootaloo as red. No - Big Mac is red. Scootaloo is orange. A slightly deeper shade than AJ.

Next,

"It looks like your special talent is the transport and protection of the wounded." She said, "You are going to be a great ambulance driver, and a wonderful addition to the ranks of Ponyville's EMPs."

This does _not_ sound anything like Pinkie Pie. It is far too formal and intellectual a statement of praise for it to have come from the Party Pony. You can't even argue it's being used as a gag moment, as not only is she not explaining anything, but you completely fail to follow it up with a collective 'What?'.

... You _start_ your fic by _killing off_ one of the main characters? Now, don't get me wrong, it is possible to do that and still write a good fic. The problem is, when it's done right, it is legendary (I recall one particular one where AJ is killed defending a shipment of apples from Griffon raiders... Having just done a quick search, it would seem AJ is a favourite for killing off, so I guess that's not much help), but when they go wrong, they go _really_ wrong. And it is infinitely more difficult to write for characters who are being pushed to the extremes of emotion than it is to write for them normally. Besides which - having a nigh apocalyptic disaster strike the town _right at the beginning_ causes a _huge_ loss of tension, because the worst has already happened - if it doesn't get better, it's because we've just dropped into grimdark territory. And the 'hero' who we would have expected to come save the town from the disaster, or at least arrive in time to do some miracle helping, is incapable of this, because we know where she has been this whole time, and that she is, in fact, the _cause_ of the disaster.

So, yeah, you suffer from some terrible pacing issues here as well - you seem to have merged the introduction, the 'hook', the scene setting, the climactic plot device all into one terrifying, unwieldy mass. Fortunately, because of the trans-temporal nature of what is likely to be one of the main characters, you _can_ write your way out of this corner - namely, you can introduce a paradox of some sort where they accidentally cause all this some way down the line, and then spend a good few chapters trying to clean up their mistake. But, again, pacing. What I have just described is likely to take some twenty chapters of similar length to this, if not more, if you want it to be done _well_.
vadrienne chapter 1 . 5/13/2012
I would love for you to contune this! I proably shouldn't have but, I laughed all the way through the chapter! (I have a cruel sencese of hummor don't I?) Anyway please do contune this I'll regenarate if you don't.
17 | Page 1 2 Next »