|Reviews for Dalikamata's Destitute|
| meglee06 chapter 8 . 5/17/2013
It is over! Oh goodness, here comes the review.
First, I freaking love the picnic! Ulquiorra and Francisca are too cute with the blindfold. It is true through, that your senses would be intensified if you take one away. I loved that though. It was such a gentle and sweet moment between the two of them. And she better be careful, wiggling around like that while on his lap XD
Dont leave her alone! She's freaking blind!
Barragan never stood a chance. And for a second there, I was worried Gin was really going to be a jerk and turn on them, but it worked out.
Ugh, does he have to take her back?
Damn Kaname and his ability to sense them coming. Ruined everything.
Gin is right with the creepy smile. No one can ever tell what he is thinking because of it XD I always assumed he was cocky because of it, but it is a nice defense for hiding your emotions.
Did Aizen just say he was going to let her starve? Now, Aizen, that isn't much of a sacrifice XD I imagined a stone table with ancient runes carved into the surface detailing the procedure, with a fancy silver dagger and the time of death set for dawn under a blood red sunrise. Apparently, Aizen sees virgin goddess sacrifice and thinks "slow death by starvation in a dungeon." To each his own I guess. Haha :)
Joder! You shot me! - HAHAHA This line had me nearly doubled over. Yes, Aizen, he shot you. But seriously, why would they not do this earlier? I mean it is all of them verses him.
He had me worried there for a minute. I mean, placing the sword at her chest and all. I was screaming at him. REMEMBER THAT YOU LOVE HER! SHE IS YOUR FREEDOM! Haha, but he did the right thing. It's a good thing he listened, otherwise I would have had to have a word with him, probably ending up with sending Grimmjow to beat him up for me.
I am so freaking glad they killed Aizen, though he died a little too smoothly for my liking XD I'd like to see him suffer a little bit haha.
So, I see what you meant when you said rushed. Not that the ending isn't a good ending, but it could benefit from dragging it out a little, building more suspense and detailing stuff. I still think it was the right way to go, and there is not much you can do when you are lacking the motivation to write. At least you finished it! :D Some people just leave it up without an ending. Very frustrating.
If you ever revise it, I'd love to see what this turns into :)
| meglee06 chapter 7 . 5/16/2013
"I can't say for sure." - HA. This line made me laugh. Ah, poor blind Kaname. Gin shouldn't tease him like that XD
He just really liked to hear his own voice - If Aizen could be summed up in one statement, this would be it.
A virgin sacrifice? Well, Aizen, you've shown your technologically advanced methods and then added some good old traditional beliefs on top of that XD I'm sorry, it just made me laugh a little bit haha. But still, very real danger for Francisca.
So is that why they all have a "quota"? They need blood?
Nel, no! That is not your place to tell her! Thank goodness Stark was there to fix it :) He strikes me as the type of guy who would pretend not to care and act lazy, but could be very alert and perceptive when he wanted to be.
I was a little surprised to see Ulquiorra out in the sun, playing in the water, of all things, but that scene is absolutely adorable :) You did very well with the kiss scene ;)
Leave it to Grimm to ruin it haha
OH! Wait, Francisca is a virgin, and Ulquiorra is putting the moves on her and being very bold with it, and FINALLY showing he cares...what if he ruins the sacrifice for Aizen? XD Oh, if this happens, I totally called it!
Nice chapter :D
| meglee06 chapter 6 . 5/15/2013
Nnoitra sure picked a good way to piss Ulquiorra off. I mean, taking Francisca was a low thing to do, and all for a fight? He knows that won't end well.
When he was tying her up in the basement, I remembered the dream Ulquiorra had :/ hope he saves her in time!
I loved how passionate Ulquiorra got about her being taken though. Even if it is kinda crappy for Nel to get stuck with the mother's body, I like the idea of Grimmjow (of all people) trying to calm him down XD
Here we go. The fight!
When he finally did transform, and Francisca heard him yell...that was a really good scene. I just liked how strongly she reacted to his voice. He needs to go ahead and tell her about his second form. I really don't think she will freak out that badly.
"Something big is about to happen and all because of you." - Damn Nel! That kind of struck me as harsh. I know it probably wasn't meant in that way, but if that was said to me, I would probably start thinking it was my fault that all of this was happening. I hope Francisca does not start beating herself up for all of this.
And Ulquiorra wins! Tesra's reaction is kind of heart-wrenching, though :/ his dedication to Nnoitra is rather admirable. Then again, I've always admired loyalty.
GIN! He's helping! Yay :D Ah, so glad. I wonder if Kaname is in on this too? And what is Aizen up to? I hope they can escape!
So many questions, not so many chapters left! XD Can't wait :)
| meglee06 chapter 5 . 5/14/2013
It was interesting to see Kaname with Francisca, especially since they are both blind. It almost seemed as if he was being nice to her, and I wonder if he will sympathize with her because she is blind. He seems to be trying to show he is the same, but he isn't really showing care or anything, so who knows?
I loved the part with Ulquiorra and Francisca in her bedroom. Once again, she is rather brave, or maybe she is under the impression that she can't defend herself, so might as well relax and enjoy the visits XD
Ulquiorra is having trouble with his feelings. I know he is starting to change his mind about her, and accept the fact that he is very interested in her. It was sweet of him to ask those questions, wanting to know what she thought of him (though she doesn't know it is him). It's adorable :) EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS ULQUIORRA!
Can I take a moment and say how much I love Nel and Grimm? I mean they are just great characters :) And Grimmjow makes me laugh in this story. Once again, there is no privacy in this place apparently, not that he seems to care enough to stop XD
That would be horrible to find. Poor Francisca :( I knew she'd find out eventually, but Gin sure did make it as gruesome as possible.
Freaking Nnoitra! I knew he'd be a problem later. I was a little confused by the letter he left, but that is mostly because I think there is a typo. Is that supposed to say "you" instead of "to"? If not, then I don't know what to make of it haha. But you makes more sense if he is kidnapping Francisca from Ulquiorra.
Great chapter! :D
| meglee06 chapter 4 . 5/13/2013
I really thought Szayel was a jerk in the manga, and was super-duper creepy, but I find I like his character in Fan Fictions, though in some he is still so creepy XD Either way, he is a really good character to explore :)
Nightmares, huh? That is never a god sign :/ Especially ones involving death.
Oh, and now I don’t like Szayel in this chapter. What did he do to that mixture he gave him? Just can’t trust him.
Geez, everyone knows about Francisca. And they are teasing Ulquiorra mercilessly XD Though Aizen is playing match-maker for some reason. But why Ulquiorra? I mean, he had plenty of options really.
“Her eyes were as blank as ever.” – this makes me think back to the masks. Eyes are arguably the most expressive feature on the face. A lot of people can’t hide emotions because of it’s there in their eyes, so when you said her eyes were blank, my mind jumped to Ulquiorra and his lack of expression, a type of mask over his own emotions. Just a random thought I wanted to share :)
Aizen is either making the moves on her mother, or just trying to charm her into trusting her. And yet another tour given by Ulquiorra!
Milky white opal? To match her eyes? (Sorry, that was horrible of me XD)
Oh no! A coughing fit! WHAT DID SZAYEL DO?! It’s really cute she stayed with him though, even if his mood sucks XD
It was Aizen’s idea? THAT JERK! Thank goodness for Tier.
And of course he killed Reyna. Bastard.
I can’t. Stupid Aizen. Such a horrible person.
This was a great chapter! :D
| meglee06 chapter 3 . 5/12/2013
Why can’t he risk being seen by anyone in the daytime?
Haha, aw Ulquiorra unintentionally helped her out XD
Someone has daddy issues. Well, I guess both of them do, but I’d have daddy issues too if I was Ulquiorra , seeing as his father is Aizen XD could you imagine the mind tricks he would play on his own children? But anyways, I’m wondering what Francisca’s dad di to deserve no tears. No doubt it is something horrible.
I found it funny that he has a “reputation” as she says, but she had to ask his name Xd must have been a pretty crappy reputation, or maybe he’s just so antisocial that his reputation was built on his looks and personality alone. It’d be like “oh, there’s that creepy pale kid,” haha
“ mean nothing to me”- You see, I thought the same thing when he started describing colors XD
A picnic! It’s the dream haha except he totally said no, the kill joy.
Gee, he should keep his day job (or night job, since that is when he kills). Tour guides are not his forte. Shortest tour ever.
Aw, that was kind of mean, on both their parts. She was rather bold to kiss him like that, and then him not reacting was kind of suckish. He warned her though. Still, his heart is beating, so it is there. Just unaffected apparently XD And shame on her for kissing strangers, though she seems to feel like she knows him. Maybe she does somehow that hasn’t been revealed.
Oh, so that’s why she hates him. He doesn’t love her because she is blind. What a jerk.
Wait, had he not already died? What is he doing? Is it a memory? That would explain why she felt he was familiar, but then again had he not first seen her eyes at the party? Or am I just crazy for thinking it said that?
Only Francisca would laugh at the monster who just freaking killed a man in front of her XD
So he had killed the man. But left her. Interesting, especially since she was defenseless. I wonder why he speared her. Then again, she is probably an enigma to him (which is hilarious, seeing as he is such a supernatural and strange being haha)
Very very good chapter :)
“The trip was bumpy as the one of the” –just sounded a little off with that “the” before the one.
| meglee06 chapter 2 . 5/10/2013
I was confused at the beginning, and then when he killed Francisca, I nearly sent myself into a coughing fit. It took me a moment to realize it was a dream XD I'm was about to say how odd it would be to kill one of the main characters in the second chapter, unless the story was involved in a character death and had a lot of flashbacks as the love interest was left to pick up the pieces...okay, that was a tangent haha
But back to the dream. I'm wondering if this is a sign of what is to come? He broke all of the rules, and then killed Francisca twice, after calling her his girl.
I'd be so uncomfortable if I was sleeping naked and my sibling came in XD don't they know privacy? haha
I got to admit, when Aizen asked him to give her a tour, I thought the same thing. How is the blind person going to react to him taking her "sight-seeing"? XD I wouldn't be surprised if she made a smart-ass comment about it.
I wonder what Aizen wants with her. Whatever it is, I'm sure it isn't good, especially if he is trying to keep her there. I also want to know if he had some kind of friendship with her father who died? Hmmm.
Good chapter! :)
| meglee06 chapter 1 . 5/9/2013
This story is going to be fun to read :)
It's dark, and I like it. No problem with being a little dark. Makes things interesting.
I really, really liked the aspect of the masquerade (did I spell that right? Too lazy to check). It's such a mysterious and romantic idea, and it was displayed very well in this chapter. Plus, it gives the arrancars a reason to wear their masks! XD
"One was part of his costume and the other was invisible." -This line describing Aizen was really powerful. Not sure why I liked it so much, but it struck me. Since he kind of wears a mask over what his true self is, which is what I am assuming you meant by invisible :) just really well put.
Oh, Grimm. You should at least pause the action with Nel when someone interrupts XD
I think you've got Uliquiorra down, dude. I know you said you didn't really know this character, but I bought it. Quiet, condescending, and with complete indifference towards everything...sound like him to me.
I like the OC too. Francisca, right? She seems like a pretty cool person. A little too trusting, or maybe not, since she carries a knife XD She's going to be fun.
Let me tell you, this whole suddenly a bat thing, though I knew it was in the original story, I was not expecting to see it emerge here as well XD When he started changing, the only thing I could think of is trying to figure out how you plan on explaining it :D it should be fun. I wonder if all of them change. I bet Aizen is technically involved, since he'd "decades" older, making me think he has a little bit of supernatural in him too.
And what are these rules? Surely you'll tell us :)
Awesome start. Can't wait to read more! :D
| arabella15 chapter 8 . 5/6/2013
Woah, Woah, Woah.
Is this really the end?
Is there a second one?
What happens next?!
| Leyshla Gisel chapter 8 . 9/23/2012
Nice ending. :) Now they're all free.
| Awen Sofer chapter 8 . 9/23/2012
That opening was awesome! I don't know what it is about not just the blindfolding but feeding someone that is so damn sexy and enticing. Nice, very nice scene. Aw, poor thing. After all that sweetness had to endure the bitter of knowing Ulquiorra's true identity.
""But if I kill you, everyone will be free."" - Magnificent line! The death of Aizen was quite satisfying on so many levels.
That was a fast paced, exciting ending. It was great. It did not seem rushed or desperate at all (like some of my pathetic endings). It fit right into place and drew the story to a satisfying end. Great job!
| Irah chapter 8 . 9/23/2012
Nicely done I was hoping Gin would switch over to their side gah! I love him lol I feel so sorry Barragan :(
Finally Aizen is finished! They are all free for now I'm assuming lol great chapter filled with action.
. my favorite part was when both of them were off to the side, so cute! Love how it ended also...hmm now all we have to do is wait huh? XD I hope you do continue though.
| Irah chapter 7 . 8/9/2012
Aww man my apologies for taking forever to review but I have to say alot is happening and I like it lol. Syazel I thought I was going to like but nope ever since he gave him that vile and snitched them out...I can finally say I hate him lol
They finally kissed, this brought a satisfied smile to my face...they're so cuteeeee lol.
Now I'm scared all over again, man I want them to evade them although they don't know that they're being watched grr. I so can't wait for what you got next whenever you do find the energy to keep writing this. Fantastic! I loved it!
| Awen Sofer chapter 7 . 8/5/2012
OH NO! They found them! Ooooh, loved the update! The river scene was awesome! Close call there at the border...whew! Awww, Yammy was so cute. An immortality elixir for Sosuke; now there's a frightening thought. (I know I worked backwards through the whole thing.) It was great!
| Leyshla Gisel chapter 7 . 8/5/2012
Oh no. They'll be caught by surprise. The suspense is killing me. I am glad though Ulquiorra is giving in to Francisca. Great chapter.