|Reviews for Hacia el sol|
| Guest chapter 8 . 3/28
I hope she will remember that rage and use it to rebel and end the slavery, if she ever starts becoming fond of, or even respect Hiashi and teh Hokage in the future, I will in turn lose all respect for her.
Some things should not be forgiven.
watch at my hearts content - watch to my heart's content
mothers - mother's
uncles - uncle's
(for some reason you are not using the right apostrophe sign, the one you use create too large a space)
| Guest chapter 7 . 3/28
the earnest - the most earnest
teenagers bickering - teenagers' bickering
the younger the boy - the younger the child
perfect healthy - perfectly healthy
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/28
shelf-pity - self-pity
Up until today - To this day
elucubrations - introspection
(a weird word choice, basically anything would be better, I just gave one suggestion)
Im proud, of both - Im proud of you both
weigh of weakness - feeling of weakness
as genius - as a genius
poke in - poke into
paid attention - had paid the attention
| Guest chapter 5 . 3/28
doesn't breath - doesn't breathe
| Guest chapter 4 . 3/28
This story could definitely use some proofreading, I would strongly recommend you that get a beta reader or two to go over all the chapters.
Here's some examples of errors I noticed in this chapter alone:
For her credit - To her credit
cant - can't?
only we only would - we will only
Shelookedat - She looked at
| Guest chapter 2 . 3/28
"a good photographic memory"
It would be better to just write that she has a good memory, or a good visual memory, 'photographic' means by definition that her memory is perfect or close to it, so you can't add values such as good or bad to it.
| Ibskib chapter 9 . 3/28
I guess this is where the story starts going in a wrong direction for me, after what Hiashi did, I can simply not relate to her if she doesn't hate him just a little, it seems obvious that if her emotions has cooled so much in only a year, the same will happen to her distrust.
She is just too soft. Already she seems to respect him far too much. It also seems like a convoluted way to avoid branding her, and any chance of his intentions being benevolent rings false after what he did to Neji.
I can't understand why she doesn't start considering ways to get out of her enslavement, she already knows being branded is not an honor, she should be well read enough at this point to at least have heard about the sealing arts, anyone reincarnated into the Hyuuga, would have a strong motivation to learn about seals, unless they for some reason like the idea of having a slave tattoo and forever letting someone else control their fate.
(did you mean main house's?)
was low blow - was a low blow
I was none - I was not one
(wrong sign used throughout the story)
to maintaining - to maintain
| The Real Chys Lattes chapter 14 . 3/26
This was a different story than the usual. Nice for a change.
| Axel Fones chapter 11 . 3/15
Damn, a possible marriage contract with Itachi? Now that's something different. And she activated her Byakugan, good stuff.
| Axel Fones chapter 10 . 3/15
I'm loving the interactions between Hikai and Hiashi.
| Axel Fones chapter 9 . 3/15
Oh, now that's just fascinating. Low-balling her capabilities huh? I wonder what Hiashi's endgame with that is...
| Axel Fones chapter 8 . 3/15
I'd be pretty fucking pissed too. I wonder what'll come of that.
| Axel Fones chapter 7 . 3/15
Ooooh, is this Hinata getting kidnapped?
| Axel Fones chapter 6 . 3/15
And the truth of her sensory abilities come out, haha! Things are getting interesting now. Not that they weren't before, just that before it felt more like setting up the story than anything else. But now things can move forward.
| Axel Fones chapter 4 . 3/15
A solidly done emotionally-charge chapter, and the only thing I can think about is the cat summons. I don't know why, but I always sort of assumed the Uchiha had that contract, probably from fanon or something XD