|Reviews for Blind|
| deactivated82940 chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
That's a really cool idea to have Malik use the Millennium Rod to help Shizuka see. Ah, and I know this was for the contest so there's a time crunch to it but it's just so fascinating. She's so reliant on him here and she knows it, as she's asking herself here. Also that last line just totally flips the rest of it; it seems pretty sweet until the end, and then it's just kind of chilling. I wonder how Jounouchi would react to this (as this question must always be asked when Shizuka is in a relationship of any sort XD)? Especially that Malik is probably Not Good at this point, and there's all sorts of magic happening. But the ability to see, that would be a hard pull for Shizuka.
| OxEyed chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
I was having a really nice moment and then you ended on such an ominous note! Still, this was very nicely written; I liked the idea of a relationship forming around her blindness, and the single line of dialogue that accurately sums up the entire fic.
Nicely done! Good luck!
| My Misguided Fairytale chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
I agree that breaking this up into more paragraphs would have been helpful, but I really like this premise. It's so interesting, the idea of the two of them using each other; Shizuka to regain moments of sight, Marik to use her blindness to keep his secrets. There's so much in that, you could write this long, drawn-out story on that alone! As is, though, this moment is nice and well-executed (excluding the Wall O' Text) and I hope to see you return to your usual standard in future stories! Good job on this, and keep up the good work! Best of luck!
Jess (My Misguided Fairytale)
| Graces of the Child chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
This is definitely a nice, quick moment. I agree with the anon that paragraphs would've helped a lot. I do wonder what happens next, though. :)
| anon chapter 1 . 5/9/2012
This is GOOD but it's such a WALL OF TEXT. Might I suggest some paragraphs?
Shizuka leaned back against the body behind her, hard but comfortable. She smiled as she felt an arm wrap itself around her shoulders, the familiar metal that adorned it cool against her skin.
She shifted beside Malik, turning and placing her feet on the other side of his legs. She reached up a hand and ran it over the contours of his face, smooth to the touch. A smile was tugging at his lips; she could tell by the creases that were forming around his eyes.
"What do you see right now?" Shizuka asked, her voice barely rising above a whisper. There was a small tug in the corner of her mind, familiar by now.
The door opened and light flooded in. There she was, curled into a muscled bronze arm, her face turned upward with a smile of its own. Her eyes were closed, as always, incapable of true sight. Shizuka watched as her expression lost just a little of its luster. She wished she wasn't so reliant upon the mysterious magical powers of the man who held her to catch real glimpses of the world around her. There were times when she wondered if she confused this reliance for love, that it was all that kept her by his side.
Shizuka watched the arm around her shoulders pull her closer, as the hand cupped beneath her chin. Her face drew closer and then the world turned black as Malik's lips pressed softly against hers for a brief moment. Sight did not return to Shizuka as he pulled away, the door closing behind his presence. She felt Malik lift her legs, listened as he stood from the couch on which they had been reclining together.
"Where are you going?" she asked, hating the hint of pleading that came through with her question.
Shizuka stood and followed his footsteps—he was barefooted on the carpet, she could tell—until she heard the door close in front of her. She placed her hand against the wood and followed the edge of the frame until she found the handle, tried to turn it, but it was locked. Shizuka returned to the couch and lay down, wondering what secret Malik was keeping, and how much that secret depended upon her blindness.