Reviews for Heartbeats
D C JoKeR H S chapter 1 . 1/21
This makes me think of The Night Blights, a game where a 3year old (the gamer) is trying to protect his family from the creatures the game is named after, Lin Alan and his checks ;w;
Sarai chapter 1 . 1/1/2015
I like it!
Victoria.Annxx chapter 1 . 11/22/2013
I was nearly crying with this story, it was so sweet and upsetting at the same time. But it was a nice story. :) xx
Guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
I really like this story! It is sweet and emotional at the same time. You have done a great job! It is NOT
bubzchoc chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
great story
Darkflame's Pyre chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
Okay, here we go!

I promised that I'd review this one, and what an amazing little piece it is! I don't blame Allie in the least for not wanting to speak, and I want to personally kick Jeff's butt for being so darn stupid! Poor Scott! It's no wonder he hasn't gotten sick yet! *Snicker, wink*
sammygirl1963 chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
Poor Alan is really truggling with the loss of his mother. It is so heartbreaking to know he wakes up at night and has to go check on his brothers.

I can't help but wobnder if Alan had to listen to his mother's heart styop beating as they lay there in the avalanche and if that is why he must hear their heartbeats and feel the rise of their chests

Definitely looking forward to more.
quiller chapter 1 . 5/12/2012
Yes, this is dark, but given the backstory you had included, not unrealistically so IMO. Please carry on!

Just one query - Jeff is away, but is there some adult in the house? Grandma? Why hasn't she been disturbed by Alan's silence and night-time wandering? I can't see a family of young boys, the oldest at 14, being allowed to live on their own for any length of time - even if they weren't suffering the loss of a parent; the simple logistics of doing the shopping/ getting to school if nothing else.
thunderbird5 chapter 1 . 5/11/2012
Awe. So cute.
JoTracy123 chapter 1 . 5/11/2012
Well I liked that wee story. It seem fine to me but well done any way and looking forward to the next bit xxxx
grnfield chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Ooh, this is going to be a one-shot that isn't! It's got to be at least a two or three chapters but then you may well find those evil plot bunnies turning it into a multi-chapter epic!

Can't wait to see where you go with it, I've often wondered why the authorities didn't get involved when Jeff basically abandoned the boys after Lucy's death.
TBMom chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Actually I think you've got a pretty good story developing. Will look forward to more.
iPodsAndVolkswagens chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
(Forgot my password!)

This is awesome! I love the chemistry between the five brothers! I'd love to read more, so please do continue :)
Trillianaus chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Tissue warning needed. Look forward to the conclusion.