Reviews for the cheerless towns
cathernatural.812 chapter 2 . 7/11/2012
great story, sad that it hasnt got many reviews, and sad that there wont be any more chapters, but very good fic overall :)
Saint Sentiment chapter 2 . 5/30/2012
I'm sorry to see that this hasn't gotten more reviews, because it certainly deserves them. Your prose is delicious. I know that sounds flamboyant, but whatever. Your command over the present tense is a delight to read, and the poetic similes tasteful. I never tire of them. I love poetic language weaved into any narrative. Some writers can be so generic, so dull, it's a wonder they even get the attention they do. But I always keep my eyes peeled for the fic writer with a mind to be more literary in style, and I like what I see so far.

My only quip, if you'd accept a little crit, is that some sentences can read a tad awkwardly. They'd go smoother if you didn't word it as so - "He's running, out the door and into the fresh air." It seems too immediate compared to the paragraph before it that had been a pace behind, written in present-perfect, only to be disrupted by present progressive. Swap a sentence like that for "He runs out the door and into the fresh air." It flows better, I think. Sorry if I got a little technical on you there. But aside from that, nothing else jumped out at me.

Keep up the good work. It's an enjoyable AU so far.

Miss Light Bright chapter 2 . 5/23/2012
Interesting, very enjoyable... but some parts were hard to understand. And the changes in scenes were very sudden, so I'm not too sure what was entirely happening in this chapter. There should be a reference of time and setting or a transition to feed into the next scene. I was a bit confused.
vampgirl1902 chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Awesome job so far, update soon.
Miss Light Bright chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Oh my... that was beautiful! I am instantly attached to this story! GAH please write more!