|Reviews for Mending The Broken Wing|
| Lilly Kim chapter 3 . 3/29
OMG, I almost couldn't believe my eyes when I saw there was a new chapter up! This universe of the Lay is by far my favorite fanfic of all time 3 I don't know exactly why this isn't part of the main story, it's so enlightening and it got me so worried about the fate of those two... but I'm glad you shared it with the readers anyway. I love it that every character that you create is so complex and the plot has so many smaller arches inside that you need to detach them. This story is truly a masterpiece!
| shom chapter 3 . 3/25
I don't play the game but your writing is excellent!
| Karano chapter 3 . 3/25
NO WAY. THIS IS STILL ALIVE :O (please excuse the possible future mistakes, since it's the middle of the night and I am very tired)
No but really, thank you thank you thank you for updating this. Thank you again. This story changed the way I play and see Aion. It changed me.
And now a new chapter...It is kind of bittersweet to read this. First with the bitter part. While, knowing all about Asmodae's people from your story, there was no way Jareth would have made it unharmed out of that, it's still painful to see him in this state, especially as we have all seen what a good person he is. The shackles were a very interesting, "Aha!" moment because readers can surely remember how Jaya passed through the same treatment, with those shackles.
The antithesis you present here, how she had been seeing it all in light and the Elyos had become angels, and yet in Jareth's case we have the darkness, the murkiness, and a clarity that's absent in Jaya's case that shows his level as a great mage and a master compared to Jaya's amateurish ways.
Vee's involvement is like a shard of ice passing through your chest, not only Jareth, but for the readers, too, proof of a clear, equilibrated description of the feelings and conditions that get gradually more vivid until we reach the main point, the glasses' revealing. The last sentence of Jareth, the 'my lord', is just enough to instill that dreaded feeling of finality, of a decision and a word that can't be taken back.
Then the sweetness, if I can call it so. We get to see Raum as not only the fighter, the leader, but also as the friend. Despite being in a bad state, Jareth's thoughts are surprisingly clear and lucid, so there is still hope that, with his intelligence and devotion to his sister, he'll somehow get out.
Vee's attitude, both annoying and saddening at first, manages to lit the fire of hope in the reader's mind because, as it is, it seems very likely that they won't keep their side for long...
All in all, a wonderful chapter. I'm still waiting for a new chapter for the main story, as well, and since it seems you're continuing this, I now hope I'll get to see what happens with Jaya, too, and the reunion of these wonderful twins is an event I cannot wait to lay eyes on.
(If you are still doing it,) Good luck at writing!
| Quna chapter 3 . 3/25
IT'S ALIVE! I honestly had doubts I would see you write anything anymore, and I can't tell you how delighted I am to see yet another chapter! I do hope you write another chapter of the Lay itself too, of course.
But oh if it's not a bittersweet happiness, poor Jareth! :(
RAUM YOU ASSHOLE! I knew there was something smelling about this guy. ..
| aetherflow chapter 3 . 3/24
(I am locked out of my other account. Oops.)
I love the contrast between Jareth's interactions with Raum and Vee, and Jareth's explanation of the bargain broke my heart.
I can't help but think of how this whole thing might have turned out if Vee was a guy - "a slave to her feminine wiles", heh.
Also, this hurt a little more after having read the blog answers: "He can only pray it is only his worst fear given imagery, and not a premonition of a future yet to be." ;_;
The whole chapter is beautiful and I could obsess over everything, but I won't go into it now. Thank you so much for taking the time to write about the Lay again, and for continuing to share this story with us - it means a lot to me, and I'm sure many others feel the same. We love you!
| The Flying Frog chapter 3 . 3/24
I'm glad that you showed the consequences of Jareth and Vee helping out. I think I like Jareth more than I did already in how he tried to sacrifice himself to help Vee, which came to naught anyway because she simply followed him.
I think this was much needed in giving Vee some character beyond "that one apprentice who randomly helped Jareth help his sister."
This'll make things awkward on the battlefield.
| Christina chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
How beautiful, how full of passion, how amaizing is this piece of art! Your talent, as your grammar, speaks your value as a writer. Extraordinary, you left me speechless. The only thing I dare to ask you, if you sometimes feel bored and still don't have inspiration to write The Lay, is how Jaya feels. I mean, we have seen so far that Oros wants her, even if he doesn't want to admit it. But what of Jaya? Does she want him with the same passion? I'm looking forward to this.
Faith and Arms.
| Karano chapter 2 . 2/26/2013
*listening to undisclosed desire nightcored*
Wow, just wow. This chapter, I think I read it 50 already, and still, it continues to amaze me. The way you express the actions and feelings through the words, it's trully a very rare talent. The chapter was more in-character, and as someone said earlier, neither Oros nor Jaya strikes me as fluffy. Wild passion suits them so much better. I can't wait to read such a hot chapter in the storyline. You will put one chapter like this in The Lay, right? Nico's reaction would be...priceless :)
| MinniMuffin chapter 2 . 9/14/2012
I love these side stories! It's interesting to see what is happening on the Asmodian side :)
The steamy part is well written (it's also funny to see Oros in denial), but I think the rating should be changed from T to M. o.o
If it's not too much to ask, could you write about what Jareth told Oros in chapter 24? I'm just as curios as Jaya. Ignore my request if you're planning on including it in the story anyway :3
| StrangeoneXD chapter 2 . 6/7/2012
This is later quite a bit then yes? AND YAY! OROS and Jaya, you will be together :D AND ALLOWED IN THE OPEN? YAY! okay stopping fangirling... wonder how she looks by then? or is it just the same hair with asmo skin? But holy crap... maybe I should stop imagining and reading at the same time next time there's such a warning. BUT NO IT WAS A TEASE. Oh well at least one can see the Gyre's thoughts on her.
| Landing Failure chapter 2 . 5/28/2012
| Landing Failure chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
Oh, so you actually did post them!
Raum is so tricky... if I were in that position, I'd have taken the offer. He definitely seems like he would be powerful enough to shut people up.
Agreeing with Musica about your portrayal of Sen Cross's characters.
Hm, this (and the pictures you posted) has given me better ideas of characters of my own...
| Musica chapter 2 . 5/16/2012
Whew *fans self* Certainly steamy. You have piqued my already unwavering interest considering we don't HAVE 25 yet. Your attention to detail and use of descriptors never ceases to amaze me. I was always told to show, not tell with writing. It is so easy to imagine what you've written here.
If we are allowed to request writings, then I have another vignette challenge for you. I have thought about doing this myself, but I cannot say I'd do it justice. What say you to writing and excerpt from Jaya and Kit's collective journal, to letting us read part of the Lay?
Faith and arms,
| Musica chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
I was a bit surprised to find this, and I think you've had a brilliant idea. Having just tried a first person myself, I know how frustrating it is to not be able to write on and develop other characters. I do not know this Sen Cross, but the way you portrayed Kaith and Erimes is strong. I have the sneaking suspicion they will be mentioned in upcoming chapters, so this bird watcher is gonna be keeping an eye out for that bluejay and eagle.
Blood for blood,
| Quna chapter 2 . 5/14/2012
27. Now that we've mentioned Mishuvel, quite intriguing, her origins... Let's say she was abandoned simply because of all her whiteness, why would she be left at Asphel's own palace though? And what's with all this whiteness anyway? Again, I'm not saying anything about the dragon wings anymore, but their whiteness still seems sooo suspicious to me. Was the shedim lord messing around with any Elyos? CRAP, was Mishuvel the result of your "Candlecast"? :D Aaaaand okay okay, did I miss something? Is Raum Mishuvel's descendant? Didn't Jaya say she'd died (faded) childless?
28. Possibly the last question FOR NOW: the last moment, where Jareth realises that Jaya doesn't know about Raum, Jaya notes that she heard the sharp intake of breath from Oros from something he realised earlier than Jaya did. Why's that? How come Oros could guess that the dragon was Raum?
Then again, they talked a lot during the journey from Rivenstone to Synedel, so... maybe he knew, but still, don't know how he could arrive to that conclusion logically... Okay, I know I did it myself a few chapters ago but Oros isn't reading this as a story is he? :D
Now, of course, I don't expect you to answer all these questions, but... I think at least some of them are harmless .."