|Reviews for Mending The Broken Wing|
| Christina chapter 1 . 3/1/2013
How beautiful, how full of passion, how amaizing is this piece of art! Your talent, as your grammar, speaks your value as a writer. Extraordinary, you left me speechless. The only thing I dare to ask you, if you sometimes feel bored and still don't have inspiration to write The Lay, is how Jaya feels. I mean, we have seen so far that Oros wants her, even if he doesn't want to admit it. But what of Jaya? Does she want him with the same passion? I'm looking forward to this.
Faith and Arms.
| Karano chapter 2 . 2/26/2013
*listening to undisclosed desire nightcored*
Wow, just wow. This chapter, I think I read it 50 already, and still, it continues to amaze me. The way you express the actions and feelings through the words, it's trully a very rare talent. The chapter was more in-character, and as someone said earlier, neither Oros nor Jaya strikes me as fluffy. Wild passion suits them so much better. I can't wait to read such a hot chapter in the storyline. You will put one chapter like this in The Lay, right? Nico's reaction would be...priceless :)
| MinniMuffin chapter 2 . 9/14/2012
I love these side stories! It's interesting to see what is happening on the Asmodian side :)
The steamy part is well written (it's also funny to see Oros in denial), but I think the rating should be changed from T to M. o.o
If it's not too much to ask, could you write about what Jareth told Oros in chapter 24? I'm just as curios as Jaya. Ignore my request if you're planning on including it in the story anyway :3
| StrangeoneXD chapter 2 . 6/7/2012
This is later quite a bit then yes? AND YAY! OROS and Jaya, you will be together :D AND ALLOWED IN THE OPEN? YAY! okay stopping fangirling... wonder how she looks by then? or is it just the same hair with asmo skin? But holy crap... maybe I should stop imagining and reading at the same time next time there's such a warning. BUT NO IT WAS A TEASE. Oh well at least one can see the Gyre's thoughts on her.
| Landing Failure chapter 2 . 5/28/2012
| Landing Failure chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
Oh, so you actually did post them!
Raum is so tricky... if I were in that position, I'd have taken the offer. He definitely seems like he would be powerful enough to shut people up.
Agreeing with Musica about your portrayal of Sen Cross's characters.
Hm, this (and the pictures you posted) has given me better ideas of characters of my own...
| Musica chapter 2 . 5/16/2012
Whew *fans self* Certainly steamy. You have piqued my already unwavering interest considering we don't HAVE 25 yet. Your attention to detail and use of descriptors never ceases to amaze me. I was always told to show, not tell with writing. It is so easy to imagine what you've written here.
If we are allowed to request writings, then I have another vignette challenge for you. I have thought about doing this myself, but I cannot say I'd do it justice. What say you to writing and excerpt from Jaya and Kit's collective journal, to letting us read part of the Lay?
Faith and arms,
| Musica chapter 1 . 5/16/2012
I was a bit surprised to find this, and I think you've had a brilliant idea. Having just tried a first person myself, I know how frustrating it is to not be able to write on and develop other characters. I do not know this Sen Cross, but the way you portrayed Kaith and Erimes is strong. I have the sneaking suspicion they will be mentioned in upcoming chapters, so this bird watcher is gonna be keeping an eye out for that bluejay and eagle.
Blood for blood,
| Quna chapter 2 . 5/14/2012
27. Now that we've mentioned Mishuvel, quite intriguing, her origins... Let's say she was abandoned simply because of all her whiteness, why would she be left at Asphel's own palace though? And what's with all this whiteness anyway? Again, I'm not saying anything about the dragon wings anymore, but their whiteness still seems sooo suspicious to me. Was the shedim lord messing around with any Elyos? CRAP, was Mishuvel the result of your "Candlecast"? :D Aaaaand okay okay, did I miss something? Is Raum Mishuvel's descendant? Didn't Jaya say she'd died (faded) childless?
28. Possibly the last question FOR NOW: the last moment, where Jareth realises that Jaya doesn't know about Raum, Jaya notes that she heard the sharp intake of breath from Oros from something he realised earlier than Jaya did. Why's that? How come Oros could guess that the dragon was Raum?
Then again, they talked a lot during the journey from Rivenstone to Synedel, so... maybe he knew, but still, don't know how he could arrive to that conclusion logically... Okay, I know I did it myself a few chapters ago but Oros isn't reading this as a story is he? :D
Now, of course, I don't expect you to answer all these questions, but... I think at least some of them are harmless .."
| asfta chapter 2 . 5/10/2012
Uhh... I need a cold shower .. But it can wait, I'll just read this over again o Actually, I was going to ask "claws? O_o" but then... it was just a dream. You're right, by the way: it can hardly be called 'fluff", but it's so much better o Not to mention, neither Oros nor Jaya really strike me as... fluffy XD This dream of his is much more in character.
| asfta chapter 1 . 5/10/2012
Now this is really interesting. It's quite delightful to jump to the other side for a change and see the whole thing from another person's eyes. And, as I see, the status of this one isn't "complete", which should mean you will upload more *checks the alert button*. I don't really understand though... Raum talks about taking Sanctum, so, does it mean the whole thing with the portal and Jaya's ascension hasn't happened yet?
Oh, shall we see what happened to Kit here rather than in The Lay?
"Curioser and curioser"... Alice? :D
P.S. I haven't reviewed the 23rd chapter of the Lay, don't think I haven't read it yet or didn't give enough thought to it. I'm reading the whole story all over again. There are so many details I miss while reading things in an excited manner of a fangirl, soon I'll finish it and write all my thoughts in an annoyingly curious review.