|Reviews for Take My Hand and Take My Whole Life Too|
| Kelly chapter 15 . 12/20/2012
Hello! It's been a while, hasn't it? My bad.
The final chapter... *sob*
YOU KILLED NOAH! How could you? Haha! I thought you might have gone that route, but there's that flicker of hope where I'm thinking, well maybe you haven't and they're going to have such a lovely reunion... and it's all been crushed. Poor Noah. When you think about it, it's a cruel twist of fate - he takes Noah's place, to do what he could to try and save him, but then Noah dies before he gets the chance to. And after everything he went through in the arena, too, not to mention Genevieve's death. Bless their mother - she lost one son, then had to face the possibility of losing another. Pretty much her entire family gone. It's very sad. The way you wrote it was very heartfelt, especially when Ace wouldn't believe it. It's another reason why I think you're such a great writer, because you give off very believable reactions and conversations. They're all something I can picture happening.
I'm probably getting way off track with this, and it's probably all wrong and you may laugh, but at the beginning of the chapter I get the sense that Ace didn't have much of a purpose, or maybe felt like he didn't. Noah was dead. What he had been working hard towards was over. As well as losing his brother, he lost Anastasia, he lost Genevieve and, through it all, he lost a part of himself. If it wasn't for his mother and Micah, would he really care what happened to himself now that Noah is dead? Would he give up? Yet the last paragraph of the chapter, to me, gives off the impression that, now he's really thinking about it and had time to adjust, he's not going to give up. Does that make any sense to you at all? Like I said, it's probably way off what you had intended but that's what I got from the chapter when I thought about it.
And it's over! I'm going to be a broken record and say I've really enjoyed reading this fic. I'm looking forward to reading the others in your profile, too! :)
| Amelia Pond chapter 15 . 11/25/2012
oh, no! It's over! I loved it! Can't wait for the next chapter in solivagant! c:
| xKellyanne chapter 14 . 10/31/2012
One day I will get a review for one of your stories up quicker. I really will haha.
Ugh, NaNo. I was going to participate this year but seeing as how it's tomorrow and I still have no idea, I don't think I'm going to. But good luck to you, I'm sure you'll reach the 50,000 goal (: I'm planning on reading your NaNo from last year after this fic is over with.
You know, I really liked this. Throughout this chapter there were small hints of Ace's personality that we've seen throughout the fic, but there was such a vulnerable side to him that I loved reading. I mean, with people like him, it's hard to see them as vulnerable really since they build up a wall with their mind, using it as a shield from a lot of emotions and aren't particularly good at expressing them. I find that it makes his character more real, more relatable, if I can say that. I simply love the way you write these characters - all of them with all of their negative and positive attributes. It's hard to find someone as talented of a writer as you are who can write such good OC's.
One of the worst things a person can experience is the loss of someone they love, but to watch it actually happen is beyond words. I don't envy him there. Poor Micah. And poor Anastasia. You really did kill her off! Awh. But, hey, Ace is still alive! Yes! I was pretty convinced for a little while that you would kill him off too, but I'm glad to see that isn't the case here.
"Maybe next time you should tell that to someone while they're alive." - this line stuck out to me. It's completely true. You never know what you have until it's gone, and by then it's too late to say anything, as Ace found out. Sometimes people - Ace included - think it's best to keep a wall up, to protect themselves from emotions, but emotions, both the positive and the negative, are good and healthy, and no matter how silly someone thinks it is, letting another person know that you love them really isn't all that silly at all.
My first reaction when reading the last line was that it was a cliffhanger. It's not, right? It was just a convenient place to end the chapter? Maybe I'm just thinking the worst, but you did kill off Anastasia and Isla and Genevieve, so I wouldn't put it past you to kill off Noah too. But hopefully you haven't. That sounds good, yeah? Haha. Anyway, I loved this chapter. I would say I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter (and I am) but then it'll be over. Then again I suppose all good things must come to an end eventually :)
| Ex-husband tommy chapter 14 . 10/20/2012
m'kay ill stop spamming you now sorry ;) love the story, but if you hurt noah, ill die.
| Ex-husband tommy chapter 14 . 10/20/2012
jk i love you 3
| Ex-husband tommy chapter 14 . 10/20/2012
| xKellyanne chapter 13 . 10/9/2012
This fic will not end as happily - It's like a part of my soul has been destroyed :/ haha. I have to admit, I generally shy away from fics that don't have a happy ending because I get too involved with the story and the characters - way more than I should, to be honest. But, I notice you said as happily as you had planned, so there's going to be a certain amount of happy but not a lot?
You've said a couple of times that you don't feel as though you're a very good writer. You couldn't be more wrong on that respect. Being a writer is more than just putting fancy words down, it's telling a story that makes people feel something for what's being said and, even though this is fanfiction, you do that. So yes, you are a good writer, a very good writer. I just had to say that regardless of the fact I've probably said it before... I think :)
I always liked it when you wrote scenes between Ace and Noah, since I'm a sucker for such a strong sibling relationship like theirs, so I was so pleased to see this. As much as Ace tries not to show it, love just pours off him where his brother is concerned.
At just ten, Ace was giving his brother stitches. He had to grow up so fast. The way he speaks, the way he notices things and pieces everything together, it just doesn't scream ten-years-old, you know? Most kids living in one of the twelve districts wouldn't get much of a childhood, I'd imagine, but it seems like Ace never really had one at all. At least the other children would have had an attempt at one, because even with the prospect of the Hunger Games looming over their heads, there is still twelve years where they don't have to worry about it, where they can just be the children of their district, you know?
They acted like he was going to protest, to run away. Where? Off the side of a hovercraft to fall fifty feet to his death? How awful. - I kinda had to smile at this because this is so typically Ace.
Poor Ace, he just can't catch a break. The Gamemakers and the President, while they don't care about whether a young child - an innocent child - lives or dies, they do care about whether or not they've been deceived by a teenager. They're going to kill someone all because he took the place of his brother, which any decent sibling would have done. It wouldn't have killed them to just go along with Ace's plan, could it? I mean, no one but them would have known and his district, providing he would have survived in the end, of course. But then, if he had been allowed to continue to the end, I doubt anyone would have realised. How often does one really look into someone's eyes when there's so much more going on around him, you know what I mean? Does that make sense?
Excuse my little rant there, haha.
And Ace's family think he's dead... *sob* Of course they knew it was a possibility what with him being surrounded by murderous, knife-wielding children in an arena designed to kill, but still! Oh, it's just so sad. Since you mentioned it's not going to end happy, I can only gather that Ace is going to die or, if by some miracle, he survives (I'm still hoping), he's never going to be allowed to see his family again. It's just so sad.
Oh, poor Genevieve! Poor Ace! And to top it off, YOU LEAVE IT THERE! Seriously, how could you do this!? Though I'm hoping Ace is going to somehow survive, I don't think he is... is he?
This chapter was wonderfully written. I'm hoping you'll update soon, but no rush :)
| xKellyanne chapter 12 . 10/9/2012
Poor Isla! I was wondering who would die first from their circle, but I never thought it would be Isla. I kinda liked her; she was quite gutsy and maternal. Poor Ezra. My heart broke for him. In such a short space of time, he became so close to Isla, then to watch her die, having Ace stop him from helping her, being in denial that there's a chance he could save her, well it's truly heartbreaking, isn't it?
Okay, well I was feeling bad for Ezra...
Hold up, Anastasia is dead? Say it isn't so. He was just saying that to get a rise out of Ace - to make Ace let go of him, right... RIGHT? Poor Anastasia. Poor Ace. It's just poor everyone really (because that seems to be the automatic response when reading this fic).
They found out about her helping you, and they got rid of her real quick. - This is so sad. Ace goes into this arena in place of his brother to try and save him, but it ends up so much bigger than that - it's so much more than just the life of one person, and I don't think he truly realised that until then. If it's true that Anastasia is dead (I'm still in denial here), then he's going to end up blaming himself because he befriended her, because she was helping him out. Though, of course, there was always a chance she wouldn't have made it out even if she and Ace hadn't of developed a friendship like they did, because it's the Hunger Games and it's designed to kill, to leave one survivor. Still... poor, poor kids!
Ah, there was so much death in this chapter. Though you were right in your author's note in the beginning - I wasn't expecting it to go down that way. Luckily for me there is another chapter to go and read, which, I must add, I cannot believe I missed this one when I checked through my emails. Oops.
| xKellyanne chapter 11 . 8/30/2012
Yes! You don't know how pleased I was to see you had updated!
Writer's block completely sucks, doesn't it? It's the one part of writing I definitely won't miss. This chapter was wonderful. It doesn't even give the impression that you had any trouble with it.
"What did you expect in a game like this?" Ezra said, and Ace was almost surprised by the bluntness coming from the little boy. - I like that you had Ezra say this rather than Isla or Ace, because it shows that he's not a little boy anymore, not since he was chosen as a tribute to participate in a bloodthirsty game of murder. It's sad because if he did end up surviving and winning, his entire childhood would be over. Anastasia said that her death could bring a possible future for him or Isla, but even if they survived it wouldn't exactly be a good thing since they have to live with the fact they've killed, they've ended a life, which I suppose is the Capitol's idea. It makes you realise that there really are no winners, just a survivor.
"I used to think you were pathetic, you know," Ace told him. "I used to think that you weren't going to try, and it would have been the death of you." - I like this. It shows that first impressions can be - and are - misleading, and that could be Ace's downfall. When dealing with an enemy, you should never underestimate them.
I like how out of sorts Ace is with the arena and how everything he believed in and knew to be true just doesn't seem to make sense there. It's taking away his strengths and forcing him to re-evaluate everything in order to survive.
Oh dear, poor Ace. He's already being hunted by kids that are out for his blood, he's battling extreme weather conditions, and now the gamemakers are sending mutts to attack him. Well no one said it was going to be easy for them...
Do I have to tell you how much I loved Ace hugging Anastasia? Well, I'll tell you anyway. I loved it. Seriously. He claims it's because he needs to ask her something, but a part of me is convinced he did hug her to make her feel better just a little bit haha! I love it whenever Ace and Anastasia interact with each other - it’s always so sweet, and shows just how much they care for each other. Neither wants the other to die and they’re both trying to give them the best chance at surviving that they possibly can! I just love it! :D
I know this review is shorter than usual, but that's because I love all of it, and it’s been so wonderfully written, that there's not much to say about it without sounding like a broken record, so I thought I'd spare you the time of reading that aha. As for your other fics, I'll check them out as soon as I can. I'm going to have to put you on my author alert list because I had no idea that you had even written them. Oh, and if you wrote the Sherlock fic, I would read it! :)
| xKellyanne chapter 10 . 7/24/2012
I hope what has happened in your family gets resolved soon, or at least better to deal with. -hugs- Don't worry about updating, just do what you need to do for yourself and your family because all of your readers will wait for you, as you once told me. I definitely won't give up reading this story, even if you don't update for a year :-)
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac is one amazing son. It's one of my favourites, too. I don't know how anyone can bash it...
Ooh, you've begun to post your novel - I'll go and check that out once I'm done reading this :) I've been trying to write my own original fiction, but I can never get around to it since I suck at the planning.
Okay, on with the review, which I'm sorry it's late, which I always seem to do. I haven't been able to log into FF for a while (today was the first time in a week!) and I rarely check the emails these days, so I had no idea you'd updated, but I was glad to see that you had!
I really like how you started the chapter and ended it with the same line, especially with all that went on in the chapter. It's quite a powerful line, to be honest, because at their age they should be focusing on school, girls/boys, and having fun, but instead they're sent to an arena to fight where their odds of survival aren't that great, and then there's Noah who is so sickly. I kinda like the bluntness to the question as well as the innocence that comes across from it.
"Oh, God. This is not really happening," Ezra moaned. "Snow? Of all things?" - You know, I really liked this line. I mean, to other people it seems like such a trivial thing to worry about, but given where they are, the weather is both the least of their worries and one of the most important since the conditions of where they are could affect their ability to fight - to survive. Does that make sense?
"That's not right," Ace muttered, "these can't grow in the winter. Freaking gamemakers are throwing me off my mark" - Gah, that would be frustrating to see. Everything you know doesn't seem to count when you get to the arena. I quite like that, actually. Ace relies on what he knows, what he sees, and when that gets turned around it puts him off for a little while. I really like that because most authors would make it so ridiculously easy for their character to be able to win the Games, or either ridiculously hard to win, but you make it a nice balance right down the middle of it both.
Ace is right: Isla is acting like a mother hen towards Ezra, but that's such a sweet thing to see. In the arena, they fight against one another to the death, but it's quite sweet to see how much she does seem to care for him, as someone who has only just met him not too long ago and then thrown into such a depressing place such as the arena. I just want them all to survive... such a plot twist that would be haha!
Ace didn't think it was wise to be so emotionally attached to someone who was (Ace hated to admit) going to die, but he thought the relationship was interesting. - Again, Ace is right. It is quite interesting to see the dynamic of their relationship.
I really like the conversation between Isla and Ace. I can see both their points. Yes, Ezra does deserve to live. He's young, he's innocent, and he hasn't done anything wrong, other than be born into one of the districts that have to send two children every year to fight to the death. But then, Ace is right, they do all deserve to live. Out of all of them, it's the younger ones who don't have as much chance, and as condescending as it is the fact he doesn't have much of a chance does have to do with age since they haven't seen as much of life, haven't experienced it as much as the older ones have, which is sad in itself because they haven't had much of a life, none of them have, yet twenty-three of them are going to have their already short lives cut short. Gosh, the Hunger Games is quite morbid... It makes me want to wrap them all up and give them all a hug.
"I didn't think you knew how to apologize," she whispered. "You didn't seem the type." - Oh, Isla, people always have a way of surprising us, even when they don't seem the type.
Awh, poor Dayton. He killed himself. I kinda understand why he would do so. Would it be better to go by your own hand then at the hand of some bloodthirsty child, completely mad with the feeling of trying to survive? I feel quite sorry for the one who survives the Games, if they're someone who actually feels something for what they've done, because it can't be easy to live with yourself, knowing that you're partly responsible for the death of someone's child, someone's brother or sister, someone's grandchild, someone's cousin...
I feel so bad for Ezra, too. He knows he doesn't have much of a chance in surviving, but to see someone of the same age as him, to see their dead body, must make it so real for him. I mean, it seems like it'd be quite a surreal thing, to be chosen as a tribute, to be taken to the Capitol and prepared, then thrust into the Games all within a short space of time; it probably wouldn't feel as real to some as it would to others.
I also really like how you've incorporated the title of the fic into the story :)
I love Ace's entire paragraph starting from 'How had your little song gone'. It was written brilliantly.
Everyone had a sob story. Everyone had a background. Everyone died eventually, just in different ways, but he wondered how many deaths made others personally offended and affected. - Okay, so this was probably my favourite line in the entire chapter. One thing I like about this story, about you as an author, is how you can deliever these powerful lines. It's quite sad that some people don't give this fic enough of a chance to see them, to see how brilliantly written it is.
I love this chapter. I love all the chapters. It was brilliantly done, unlike this review which is just my ramblings that I've no doubt rambled over several times before in different reviews. This review was probably quite repetitive, so sorry about that. Whether it be in a week, or a month, or a year before the next update, I'll be sure to read and review, which I will try to make better than this one :-)
| xKellyanne chapter 9 . 7/13/2012
First off, the Amazing Spider-Man film was, to put it simply, amazing! I'm so glad someone else seems to appreciate the brilliance that is Andrew Garfield! I went to see it with my dad and he just didn't see to understand haha xD
Onto the review:
'It doesn't flow that well'... hm, well I thought this chapter was great.
With your writing, it's quite easy for me to visualise everything you've written, and I love that. I find it hard to connect with stories sometimes, but not this one. You give so much description, enough that it's able to set the tone and feel of what is going on, but not too much that it drowns everything, if you get what I mean. There have been several stories where they go too overboard on description, which I never really assumed was a bad thing before when I was just starting out writing, but now I find it's quite hard to keep up with the storyline. With yours, I don't. It flows seamlessly together. I'm really beginning to love and appreciate the style of writing you have too. It's wonderful to read really :)
'Thank the world, Ace thought, that she doesn't sleep naked. That would have been awfully uncomfortable.' - I loved this. Someone I sometimes think of when reading Ace at times is Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. This line was so Sheldon-esque. What I think you do really well is humour, even in the middle of something that's meant to be so serious. You add in a small comic relief and it balances the chapter out perfectly.
That whole part was full of little pieces of humour. I loved the whole howling like a dog thing. I really love how, even in the midst of preparing themselves for entering an arena where they are having to fight to the death, they can find something to smile and laugh about.
'In the games…if you need help or if I need help—say our allies are killed or abandon us, or we're being attacked and need backup, why don't we have some sort of signal for each other's help?' - Do I even need to say how much I loved this? Well, I'm going to say it anyway: I love this. It's so sweet that Ace wants to help her, that he actually put this offer in.
'Though—though I think howling as I'm dying would be kind of a shitty way to die, and very shitty last words.' - Yeah, I'd have to agree with Anastasia there.
I really like what you've chosen for their signal. Like Anastasia said, it's not likely the other tributes would realise what she meant by it. Quite a few authors would choose something random but I like that you've done it so that it has a personal connection to Anastasia.
Yay! I've been so excited to see what happens with the audio tag and you did not disappoint. I loved that whole section. If I was Ace, though, I would have been freaked out to see people at the end of my bed.
"Gosh, that was prototyped? That's not very professional." - Oh my, this cracked me up so much
He expected that, if Ace wasn't Noah, to pretend to mess up on his own brother's birthday. - Who would forget their own brother's birthday? As if being someone else would make them forget. These Capitol people aren't exactly the sharpest tool in the box, are they? haha
‘He's got games to fight and people to kill.’ - It's ridiculous that having a good show and having children murder children is what's important to them. That's the thing about the whole audio tag mishap that the Capitol people didn't really think about. Who cares if he isn't Noah? Twenty-three people are going to die anyway, so does it matter which twenty-three it is going to be? No one but District 2 are going to know that Noah is Ace and it's not like they're going to tell anyone so the rest of the Capitol would be oblivious to it all. Is killing Ace and Noah entirely necessary just so they can have a show? I would honestly hate to live in a world like that.
Awh, it's so sweet that Micah gave him the pocket watch. I have a feeling it might play an extra role in this fic...?
I've been looking forward to hearing about the arena and once again you did not disappoint. I agree with Ace: it was cruel. I really like how you describe it as a child's perfect heaven because that's exactly what they are: children, even at the same age as Ace. Children who have been raised like pigs for the slaughter, children who have watched year after year the violence that would one day become them. It's almost like the Capitol are taunting them by creating something so beautiful that gets twisted into something so violent, so destructive. I can't wait to read more about the arena and how it effects Ace.
The ending was just... wow! I loved it. It was so powerful, full of anticipation, but a terrible place to end. Well, not really. It was actually a perfect place to end, but now that means I'm going to have to wait for the next chapter to find out what happens haha :p Each chapter leaves me wanting more. This chapter was just wonderful. I can never decide after reading a new chapter which one was my favourite because they're all great! :D
| xKellyanne chapter 8 . 7/6/2012
First off, I hope your week is getting better. I think we've all had one of those sorts of weeks at one point, and quite frankly they suck, but I hope your week is improving.
I'm late reviewing again - didn't actually see you had updated until now. I'm always so happy when I see you have. It honestly baffles me to know that hardly anyone is reviewing this story - how can they not? It's so good, and rather original when it comes to a Hunger Games fic.
I feel for Ace in the beginning. I once put on a fashion show in school and had to walk down the corridor over and over to get the feel of the outfit. It was awkward, especially when the bell rang and everyone swarmed the halls. The organiser of the show was somewhat similar to Fae - by the end of the day everyone was ready to murder her. I imagine that's how Ace must have felt. There's only so many times you can walk down a hallway before getting frustrated.
Esme and Nye are getting a lot of enjoyment from Ace's misery and awkwardness. They're the sort of characters that are highly annoying, but can't help in liking. Well, can't help but like Nye. Esme, not so much, not that's anything to do with your writing skill because it takes so much skill to be able to write someone who can be hated. I honestly hope that makes sense.
"There isn't anything wrong with being introverted, and just because I am, it doesn't mean 'antisocial' is immediately a part of the package deal. I just hate people, and there isn't much I can do to change that. Sometimes I find people that don't annoy me, like my brother Ace, and Anastasia—not Ana—and sometimes Nye. And for your information, I have found allies with other tributes, and you know what? They like me." - I really liked this entire paragraph. Aside from it being written wonderfully, I agree with Ace there - there's nothing wrong with being introverted. And you're right when you mention that being introverted doesn't necessarily mean antisocial. Most people believe introverts are antisocial when they're not, so I'm quite glad you added that in. And it always amuses me, though, when he reminds Nye that her name is Anastasia. I like that continuity in this.
Most of all, I like that last little part of it. I get that Esme's trying to help him survive, help him gather sponsers, but it's all a bit fake, isn't it? Ace is obviously not comfortable being around people, and he's definitely not so outgoing that it borders on the creepy side. I get that he ought to be a bit more friendly (he does have a habit of insulting people, though I doubt he really realises he does it), but the Capitol people don't care whether he's the most friendly person in the world as long as they get a good show. They'd bet on and sponsor someone who can win, whether they're the friendliest person on the planet or not, which I've probably already said in all of my reviews so far. Sorry for the repetition. I always say to myself that I won't mention anything I've mentioned in past reviews, but I end up doing so. For people who are supposed to know what they're doing Nye and Esme do dish out some, not terrible, but not brilliant advice either. Ace hasn't needed to change to get any allies.
And he's already having to pretend to be someone he's not - his brother. It's enough to make anyone's head spin.
I like that he's not going to ally with Anastasia. The closer he gets to her, the harder it is going to be when the end comes, providing they survive to that point of course. As horrible as it does sound, it would be better for someone else to take her out before he has to. But I really like how he says that he wouldn't mind helping her out if she needed it. Ace doesn't really strike me as the type of person who would offer up help to just anyone, so that's really a testament of how much he does value Anastasia, and it shows he does sort of care for her. I love it :D
Why do you want to win? Honestly, out of all the questions someone could ask that has to be one of the most ridiculous. It's not as though someone is going to enter the arena and just surrender themselves, are they? They all want to win. They all want to survive.
Ah, the audio tag is mentioned again. It really does add a twist to it - will they kill him right from the get go? Will they make him suffer a little bit then kill him? Will they ignore it and see how it plays out? There's so many possibilities, it's all quite exciting actually. I feel so bad for Ace; there's so much riding on his shoulders. If he wins the Games, he has enough to give his brother the medicine he needs, but if he doesn't win then they're both dead. Now that the audio tag has picked up his real name, there's that chance they'll kill him, which, as Ace mentioned, means his brother is as good as dead too.
"You're supposed to go help her." - I loved this. Not too long ago Ace hadn't known what to do, and now he's instructing someone else. And Alecto's response was a typical male really. Give them an emotional female and, quite often, some men will be clueless. Not all, but some.
Awh, poor Micah and Genevieve. Poor Noah and their mother. Poor everyone who knows him really. It can't be easy knowing that he might never come out of that arena breathing, with his heart beating and his brain functioning. There's a 1/24 chance he won't make it out, which isn't good. They're going to be there waiting with their hearts in their throats, wondering whether they'll see him again. Even though they're having time to adjust to the situation, no amount of adjusting will be enough, no amount anything can prepare their minds for that. It's so sad really.
Ace really does like Anastasia. How many girls would he consider beautiful? Not many, I don't think.
She's wonderful. She's better than all of you. If only she actually had a chance. "She's lovely. One of the best personalities I've ever seen." - Awh, I loved this.
Haha I love the names you've picked out for all your characters. There are some entirely normal names in there, but then there's some incredibly strange haha, but they're wonderful. Imagine being called Denim, though... poor kid :p then again, that's the sort of names people pick out these days. Strange, the whole lot of them, but it's funny.
It was a good thing the crowd was so silent. Out of all the fake giggles and vacant smiles, the silence seemed the most real, that for a second they weren't the Capitol junkies and murder sponsors, but real people with real emotions, who were listening to what he had to say. The silence reminded him of home. Silence was comforting. - This was just... wow. I loved it. It was so real, it was actually quite powerful, which I loved.
And the last line was wonderful, too. It was all wonderful. I say this after every chapter, but this had to be one of the best ones, if that's possible; they're all great! :D
Can't wait to see what comes next.
| xKellyanne chapter 7 . 6/27/2012
You're really frequent with your updates and it's wonderful :) I ought to step it up a bit haha! Especially with the reviews. I always seem to post them late... sorry! I would have had this up last night, but I was exhausted, but it's here now.
Urgh, I know what you mean about the weather. Where I'm from it's usually cold and raining, but lately we've had so much sun that the heat rivals that of Spain, which is quite rare for little old Britain haha :p And it also took me a minute to realise what you meant by Indian Burn, since I - and everyone I know - call it a Chinese Burn.
But even with the insane heat, this chapter was as wonderful as ever. It was really sweet, and I'm simply loving that about it, especially the Ace/Anastasia moments throughout.
Their relationship is really interesting. In the beginning, Ace had written her off as someone he wouldn't bother with, someone he had misjudged, but look at them now. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact she reminds him of his brother, or the fact they've both been forced to participate in the Games, or maybe it's a combination of both, but he's quite open with her, not to a great extent, but enough. Other than Noah, he's had no one really to talk to, or found no one he wants to talk to. When she talks to him, it's like she brings out a different part to him, like the hug at the end of chapter three. Going back to the Sherlock reference, they remind me of John and Sherlock, who didn't have any friends before John. I mean, Ace and Anastasia aren't exactly best buddies, but they're getting to the stage where he might consider her a friend. They're both quite good for each other, aren't they?
There were so many lovely parts between them in this chapter.
I like how proud Anastasia when she realises he's considering allying with someone. It's quite different for Ace, who is so introverted, and she realises that. And then there's concern Ace shows for her when he realises she was planning to head for the cornucopia. I might have said this before, but the way they interact with each other is quite natural and it flows. It was written beautifully. Then again, the entire fic is :D
I do feel sorry for them, though. I've probably mentioned this before too, but at the end of the day one of them (or both) are going to die. It's sad to see them forming a friendship of sorts when it won't last. I think that's what's going to make the loss harder. They've been thrown into participating in something they have no control over, and the arena is unpredictable. There's no telling what they're going to see or how they're going to die. But as they're preparing to enter the arena, they're getting to know each other, and they've already confided a little with the other. Of course, I have no idea what's coming next, so this may all be wrong.
Hm, the audio tag. They heard his real name. Wonder what's going to happen there...
But they didn't know his life, who he was fighting for, his boring life story. They didn't know him. They never would. - This I loved. It was the line that stood out the most for me. That's the thing about the Games is that these kids are just games pieces, disposable. They don't seem to care that they have a family, should have a future, should have better in their lives.
"Break a leg, but not really. That would only make them happy." - I don't know it if was intentional or not, but this actually made me laugh. Maybe Ace doesn't realise he's saying something hilarious, but it was. The humour in this is really subtle and that's one of the many reasons that makes this fic so great.
Just as much as I love Ace interacting with Anastasia, I love him interacting with Noah, even if it was in a dream. Was it a memory or just a dream? Either way it was lovely.
A three for both of them... that's not good... But then that's the thing, both of them aren't exactly strong people in the sense that they can use force to win, but they have other advantages and that just may be the reason why one of the wins. The other tributes are going to write them off as someone who isn't worth bothering with until the last moment (which, if they had half a brain, they wouldn't), then the sponsors and all those watching are going to write them off as someone weak, someone who's death is only going to be that much more entertaining for them.
Ace's eyebrow furrowed. "I am?" - Awh, bless him, he's just so clueless at times, isn't he?
The end is so sweet. Even something as simple as holding her hair while she vomits is such a nice thing to do, which isn't something she probably expected from Ace. But it was sweet and I just loved it.
Another brilliant chapter! Can't wait for more! :D
| xKellyanne chapter 6 . 6/19/2012
Phew, I finally managed to catch up with my reviewing :) Wonderful chapter, it really was, as they all are. I know I say this each time, but I just love this. I generally don't read stories that are work in progress, or have just started, because I get too excited for what's coming next and really impatient, but with the rate you're updating, I don't have to wait so long. It's great! Makes me feel like a slacker though, haha!
There were so many parts that stood out for me. There always is, but this chapter in particular.
Real life seemed so far away, but even at the part of his existence when he walked among them, talked among them, and lived among them, he'd felt that same distance. Ace started to wonder if he'd ever gotten close to anyone at all, besides his brother. - I like this. It really stood out for me. I feel bad for Ace because it's sort of sad to realise that he's never really gotten close to anyone but his brother, that he's felt so distant from other people, at this time of his life, since there's a chance he won't be alive for long. As confident as he may be, there is still that possibility, and because of that he doesn't have the chance to change it.
I really love how interested Ace is over Anastasia being called Ana. It added in a good amount of humour to this chapter. You're actually really good at that, you know. And when Nye and Esme were arguing in the beginning of the chapter. I found it all so amusing.
I don't know why - maybe it's because he's really quite mysterious to me - but I like Nye. At first he was one of those characters that I was unsure of, but the more you write him, the more I'm sort of drawn to him and fascinated by him.
He was supposed to be a career, and when they saw his skinny, unimpressive build, they turned away, - Again, I like this. They are already writing Ace off as someone they could take out easily, not taking into consideration any other factors. That'll be their weakness and why a lot of people die so easily in the Games - they don't see things the way Ace does.
Aw, Ace is actually really sweet. He's helping the young boy, who probably reminds him a bit of himself in a way, since they both care deeply for their brothers, enough to take their place in the Hunger Games. It's somewhat of a different thing for Ace to offer help to someone (he's your character, so maybe it isn't, but that's how it seems to me), and then he goes and does it anyway. It's just nice. The boy may not survive for long, but Ace has given him a small chance of lasting longer.
I seriously just want to hug his face - HAHA! I found this just so funny that I spat out the drink I was in the middle of drinking... gross, I know, haha! :p
Another thing I'm really liking, though, is how easy and natural the conversations between Ace and Anastasia are becoming. It's easy to see how comfortable Ace is becoming around her, but it's sad because one or both are going to die (which I always point out in every review, haha... my bad :p). I just love their growing relationship, though, so I'm excited to see what's going to happen next, especially in the arena.
Ace blinked. "Shouldn't everyone?" - I really like this last line. It was perfect to end the chapter with it. That's the thing about Ace - he sees things people generally wouldn't. He saw something inside of Anastasia, whether he knew about it, or for a different reason all together, but he still saw it. He had faith in her, he stood up for her, and now everyone can see it. They ought to listen to Ace more haha! Anastasia is definitely one to watch in the arena...
Gah, I'm so excited to see where this is heading. Really looking forward to the next chapter :)
| xKellyanne chapter 5 . 6/18/2012
Hellooo! So I finally got around to reviewing! Sorry it is so late; I've been babysitting with no internet connection since Wednesday and only got back late last night.
This chapter was amazing, as usual. They just keep getting better and better :D
I really like how you started this chapter off. He's watching people from his window - people who are going to watch him try and survive, perhaps even kill someone - they're people who are worlds away as far as differences go. He's watching them ride bikes, hold hands, parade around, being so carefree, when he doesn't have that luxury, when he's never had that luxury. These people know who he is but they don't care; he's just a piece in the Games. All they care about is a good Game, not that these people have lives back in their districts, have families, have hopes and dreams. But I really like the contrast between them and Ace.
"Medication?" Esme gasped and recoiled out of breathing distance from Ace. "Is he diseased?" - I find this funny for the simple reason that she's already been breathing the same air as him, so even if he did have a disease, especially one that is airborne, then she'd have already caught it and moving away would have done nothing to help her. Ah, some people are so funny haha!
But even as the needle went into his neck and the nerves there went ice cold, he couldn't stop the feeling as if the toxin had been made of unadulterated betrayal. - I really liked this line. It was probably my favourite in the chapter. Even though he had no choice, it would still seem like such a betrayal to him since it is everything he has been trying to work towards, the reason he's in the Games, the reason he's fighting to survive. That's what I like about Ace - he isn't doing this for himself. He's not trying to survive because he's afraid of dying, he's doing it for his brother. All of this is for Noah. Even though he gives off the impression that he doesn't care very much, he cares so much, and that's why I love him as a character.
In a way, I feel more sorry for Anastasia, because out of them both, Ace has more of a chance of winning, and I think she realises that. I think she has a harder time, really. She knows why Ace took Noah's place and what he's aiming to get if he wins - medicine for him. Imagine if it came down to the two of them and they had to kill each other. That line where Anastasia says 'all the people you could have saved'. But, I'm probably thinking too much about this, and I dunno why I even thought about it, but if it did come down to the two of them, would she kill him knowing that he's in the Games to try and save his brother. By dying, she'd be saving him. The way you write her makes it seem that she does care about other people, not herself. She seems like the type to say 'kill me, save him'. Know what I mean? No matter what, she knows she's going to die one way or another. It's sad for someone like her.
Maybe she will die, though... maybe she won't... it's exciting to find out :D
Haha and I just went off topic loads there - I think too much about these things, especially in a fic like this, because these characters are your own. This is all your idea and there's no way of guessing where it's heading, so it makes it more exciting that way, and full of possibilities. Or I just over think things in general :p
Now off to review the next one... though that might take a while haha! But it is coming.