|Reviews for Tears and Triumph|
| DaughteroftheRedKing chapter 3 . 8/16/2012
UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! you are KILLING me!
| anti-viper chapter 3 . 6/13/2012
Hmmmm, interesting chapter. A lot of micro-managing with different characters and plotlines, which is cool. I wasn't sure how much of this story would be Sveta and Matthew, but after the last two chapters it appears that there's going to a be a lot of shifting focus, which is really cool, especially when done right (which it is here).
I was wondering what was going to come out of Rief and Amiti's prior unease around each other, and their conversation was well done. Amiti's shock was expected, and I particularly liked how comforting and understanding Rief was; to me, they always seemed like they were close within the party.
The next part with Eoleo and Stone (what a great name for a pirate) was fun to read. I like your portrayal of Eoleo, having him prefer sobriety and still somewhat immature despite his age, what with getting so down.
The comment about Obaba teaching him something was also interesting, as I remember at some point in the games she mentioned that Eoleo perhaps could become a smith like her.
Stone's a cool character, though I do have a soft spot of sorts for pirates. And I really liked the conclusions of this scene and the brief battle, it wasn't what I was expecting and a good change of pace.
Poor Sveta :/ . Her angst was well done, and you explored it in ways I didn't expect you to. After waiting for Sveta and Matt to have a conversation, they finally did! There was a lot to digest, with Matthew's ability to more or less tell what she was thinking making me wonder what exactly their soul-sharing has led to. And while small, the detail about Mercurcy Lighthouse interested me.
Their dialogue was well done and natural, I particularly liked Matt's crack about Karis killing Tyrell. And then end was just adorable, but still, combined with prior hints and foreshadowing, made me shiver a bit at what might be coming.
Overall, great chapter! A lot of cool stuff is happening, and I'm interested to see what happens when they reach the island.
| mystery box chapter 3 . 6/12/2012
Yeah... sorry for my earlier review.
I liked how you switched from person to person as the chapter progressed. Also, I liked how you put in a feeling of dread in the fic so far. Keep it up! It's great so far.
| anti-viper chapter 2 . 5/19/2012
Hehehe, oh Rief. He really has to deal with all the worst situations. It's always a good idea to find ways to add humor into sadder/darker fics (which this is as you've discussed, and is usually true of any story that has the word "tears" in the title), if just to lighten things up, and I feel that it worked very well here.
And, as you said, yay for Himi characterization! You did a good job of defining her character, and it felt consistent through. I particularly liked her near-eradication of the entire ship, and when she dissed Rief's social skills.
I think that entire first section was well written, with the humor being well done and slowly building up into the main focus of the chapter. I also liked the tidbit at the end about the Tisiphone Edge: that's a cool explanation for her having one, and I wonder if it will come back later. The fact that all the old weapons of the Warriors of Vale randomly dispersed through the world is confusing, to say the least.
The only qualm I had was I couldn't quite get this one sentence: "Rief was pretty much the only Adept on the ship who could match her, since his forte was Psynergy and she was the weakest of the group." That may just be me, but I wasn't quite sure what the last half of the sentence was trying to convey.
Then, away with the humor and on to DESPAAAIIIIR. Karis and Himi's musings on the condition of everyone in the group were interesting to read. I wonder if the Rief and Amiti thing has anything to do with Amiti's father... hmmm...
You do a great job of exploring each character's motivations and feelings in the situation. While Karis naturally dominated, by the end I had a clear feeling of how everyone was. The only issue in this scene was I was sometimes confused as to who's perspective it was: Karis's, Himi's, or just general narration.
Eoleo's straight face acceptance of despair was fairly heavy handed, and did a good job of leaving the chapter on a slightly melancholy note. Similarly, the imagery and descriptions did a great job of setting this tone: I particularly liked all the death/grave imagery, and wondered if it was related to where they are currently heading).
Since I got my head out of the clouds, I realized who the main villain is and some other things began to make sense. Still, even with that said you've left a lot open and tweaked things to a degree that I'm really excited to see where you take it. Overall, great chapter, I looked forward to see what happens when they reach Otka.
| anti-viper chapter 1 . 5/17/2012
This was a very strong first chapter, I felt like it did a good job of setting the tone of the story, of introducing main themes and characters, but also that it really did hook the reader in: this was aided by the beginning and ending, both of which were attention grabbers.
Sveta's nightmare was intriguing, and conveyed her sense of fear and sadness very clearly. The image was very vivid, and sad to see considering what the poor girl has gone through recently :/.
Karis and Sveta's dialogue was very natural, and I liked how you didn't just foreshadow the rest of the story through the chapter, but plot points within the chapter itself by saying that Matthew hadn't been sleeping either.
The end part of this scene was the most interesting, especially when paired with the end of the chapter. I particularly liked the little section at the end where it was revealed to be Matthew. Very poetic and well done.
The part with Amiti and Matthew as similarly interesting, and I liked the swordplay woven into the conversation. You also did a very good job of recounting information from Lull of the Ocean, in case someone reading this hasn't read it yet.
A few more nice touches here, too: I really liked Amiti's naming of the battle (I could see him doing something like that), and Himi being the only person able to see Matthew and Sveta bond.
The conversation felt natural, and both characters were well written. In general, your characterization has been excellent so far; I look forward to seeing where you take them. The last bit with Matthew was also interesting... it's cool that they still have that line connecting them, and it seems he's prepared to confront her soon.
And then, the ending. Oh my. I wonder what that is... it doesn't really sound like it has much to do with the Tuaparang. Also, since it said "tonight", it sounds like the plot is going to ratchet up very quickly and that the entire party has bad things coming their way.
Overall, a very good start :) . I'm excited to see who the enemy turns out to be, and am slightly nervous for both Sveta and Matthew.
| Culebra del Sol chapter 1 . 5/11/2012
A "darker" feeling then "Lull" is right. I'm looking forward to this new villain.