PERFECT

Good Jon with this. Really sweet

This was a great story and the love scene was really good though it did drone on a little. If you put a little more of the physical stuff in it you can fix that but you don't have to add so much that you take away from the romance. Also you could use more dialogue during the love scenes. Having them help each other learn about their own and each other's bodies needs more communication to be realistic and the dialogue would enhance the romance if done correctly.

Actualy I think that was bueatiful keep going that is true writing for a story but u could have put more details ;D

Great!

I love it 3

It didn't drone, but the thing that bugged me was it was one giant paragraph, so it was really hard to not get lost reading it. Other than that it was good(: It definitely focused more on the romance than the actual sex.

I love your writing and ur stories make me aww and gush

Really good i read all three chapters and they were really good