Reviews for Future's Price
animelover132 chapter 4 . 5/9
Nike Scarlet chapter 4 . 4/24
Aw...No more chapters?
DarkJewel55 chapter 4 . 3/30
i hate you
Guest chapter 4 . 1/22
This is an amazing rewrite and I really enjoyed the first one too, I hope you get the inspiration to finish it. I'm really looking forward to it.
chesshyrecat chapter 4 . 1/11
Man, I really can't wait to see more of this! I like the youkai path you're taking.
chesshyrecat chapter 3 . 1/11
This is my first go reading this- I wanted to wait till reading the original, and this is awesome. The writing, especially of the interactions, is much smoother. I love it, and good job!
Guest chapter 4 . 10/10/2015
Continue this rewrite! It's so good!

Well, if you do continue it, one change I hope you make is to focus on the side-characters a lot less. The previous version of the fic was all over the place. We'd get a snippet with Naruto, and then quickly get a snippet of some other character, and then some other character, and then back to Naruto...

Writing it like that really prevented you from going into depth with any of your characters. You couldn't care about any of them the way that you should because the story didn't give any of them a chance to have sustained development. That's fine for the side characters, but not for the main characters. This is Naruto and Sasuke's story. The fic should absolutely put them front and center and keep the other ones in the background.

Not only does skipping around between so many characters greatly hurt the development of your lead characters, but it also doesn't do anything good for the plot. Like with character development, you also need to have a sustained focus on a single plot thread in order to get that going. Also like character development, plots need some time to build. If you are jumping around between what one character is doing to another, that's sabotaging your plot since we now have a bunch of semi-connected plot threads to follow. You need to let one plot thread clearly dominate over the others and use the others to support that thread instead of having so many things competing for our attention.
Nur Aishah Radzuan chapter 2 . 9/19/2015
HMNYAHAHAHAHAHA holy shit that was good. Even though I've read this scene from you at least two times before already I still love it. It was a good idea to do this rewrite. Your writing style has gotten a lot better and the flow is much more smooth. I look forward to reading the rest. ;D
divergentlover523 chapter 4 . 9/13/2015
Amazing story so far! I really hope you will continue updating this story!
Guest chapter 4 . 8/11/2015
Awww I'm so sad you didn't continue this! I really enjoyed what you did of the first draft and of course, this rewrite of it is fun. Great writing. Hope life is treating you well!
Nur Aishah Radzuan chapter 4 . 7/12/2015
Ooooh this is interesting. What made you switch this part of the story up? I'm curious. The original way they handled the build up of chakra was fine. This makes me more interested though. Especially Naruto's heartbeat stopping? Why? What? I don't even care! Sasuke got all worried and protective and fuck all used part of his electric to save Naruto? I'm swooning all over the place over here!

So you're replacing their telepathy with chakra talk? Less detailed but it is more unique. First time I've read about it, at least.

ARGH SO INTERESTING! *pulls hair at end of chapter, flops on floor and pokes at phone screen as if that'll give me more chapters*
Nur Aishah Radzuan chapter 3 . 7/12/2015
I love this! I Loooooove this! I LOVE THIS! I didn't think I'd like the rewrite even more than the original. Love it equally? Sure. But more? *swoons* The way you write your Sasuke being completely loyal and protective of your Naruto is so intriguing and lovely. Probably the first gen fanfic of them I've read that does that in this way. I can't stop reading! So. Good!
SilverBladeStar chapter 4 . 6/6/2015
I have not read the first version of this story, but I am liking this one.
sistercity chapter 1 . 6/3/2015
Considering that The Price of the Future was up to chapter 32, this rewrite while starting off good is disappointingly short. The time since the last update implys abandonment. I hope this is not true.

Typo: Not 'preform', should be 'perform'.
BlackShadow1 chapter 4 . 5/9/2015
loved the original, am hoping you will pick this rewrite back up
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