|Reviews for An American Geek in a Halkeginian Court|
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 5 . 7/4
its itneresting having an actual ADULT work here pretty much. him puzzling and figuring thigns out is all sorts of interesting, but no uber IM a freaking whale in a goldfish tub bits. that happens with msot other crossovers. cause sure trying something diffrent? but theng etting caught in the whole station of canon for the beginning bit that EVERYONE does... which meh.
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 4 . 7/4
nice! I like that it wasent a death spiral into them going off on it and he jsut kept working around her on things and stuff. very itneresting really.
his just ROLL with it is interesting.
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 3 . 7/1
well. that will be the DISASTER. but lvoe hate is EXACTLY what this series needs! good deciisons for one and all.
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 2 . 7/1
nice work! but uh… he woudlent think of himself as Guanjin would he? and American means contrary for the sake of it and spite till death and all that. plus adulting! always important age wise.
| Sage of Wind Dragons chapter 1 . 7/1
cute. an nice form fo the world set up of disaster … the idle...BAAH their is a forma dn functiont to this writing style giving an insight into a combination fo the world that probabbly has a formalised word and TITLE to it..
but I enjoyed all of this. is what im trying to say, it was apealing.
| nburr16 chapter 40 . 6/16
Continue this pls it is good
| Sir Not-Amused chapter 19 . 6/10
Too many irrelevant plots and not much plot and character development. If you call all that useless and long interactions as character development, then you're horrible writer.
| Goodalwayswins98 chapter 40 . 5/17
Excellent work here man. I read the rest on Spacebattles as well. World building is amazing and you made everyone likable and realistic which is amazing. You overcame alot of my gripes from FoZ canon so keep it up and I look forward to the next installement.
Also... no "Colonel Bogey March" parody aka "Hitler Has Only One Ball" rehash for Reconquista and Cromwell?
| Mr.Destructo chapter 13 . 5/11
if he was worried about being ripped off he should have had Louise deal with them through her family
| Mr.Destructo chapter 6 . 5/11
sorry to tell you this but nothing in the school outfit aside from their undergarments would require elastics even knee high socks wouldn't cosplayers tend to use adhesives to keep their socks in place when doing a Zettai ryōiki look your waist band doesn't need elastics if you use some sort of clasp instead not does your shirt or cape and its a school what's wrong with their outfits being patterned similarly to what girls and boys wear in japan
| Keldor chapter 40 . 5/8
I am pretty certain Kirche's "phenotype" is just her having a tan. That's how tanned people are portrayed in Japan. I've seen manga and anime where people from Osaka were made to look darker than her. All because they tend to be more tanned than other Japanese due to their location.
In manga/anime, if someone has a different phenotype, it's usually very easy to tell. They'd be much darker than Kirche for one. You certainly went through a lot of effort to explain Kirche's skin color. Germania is nothing like in canon where it's an expy of the Holy Roman Empire and where the Emperor is elected.
Indeed, the whole point of Henrietta's marriage was so the Emperor could solidify his position and turn Germania into a hereditary monarchy. It would have given Albrecht III legitimacy.
I can't say i like this particular change. The other changes you made seem to have been done to have the setting make more sense but this seems really arbitrary and illogical.
I prefered it when Germania was Germany and not Germany conquered by India. How did that happen anyway? From what I read, the "Easterlings" didn't have any magic of their own and their country should have been really far away. Forget not having magic, how did they deal with logistics? They shouldn't be able recharge or make use of spirit stones so no magic skyships and the like.
The Elves seem to have let them come through Rub al Khali but that's a desert. How were they able to project that much force so far away and even manage to conquer a country that's ruled by mages who would consider them commoners and heretics? Literally everything we've learned about their culture is anathema to Halkegenian values. Why weren't they overthrown?
Germania should have been impossible to keep even if they did somehow get enough men through a massive desert to conquer it. How the hell did they get mages to marry them? Do the elves keep giving them free passage so they can get reinforcements and resources? Because that seems like it would get old very fast.
How does their civilization even exist? Without mages to protect people from the horrible wildlife (an understatement if there ever was one), a bunch of commoners should have never been able to develop civilization. They appear to have discovered some sort of alchemy but that only happened after they invaded.
There's also the Spirit Stone catastrophe. It's a regular thing that happens every few thousand years. Halkegenia is about to experience the wind version soon and Brimir prevented the last one. Why weren't the Easterlings wiped out by their local version? No matter how I look it, they shouldn't exist.
That's honestly my biggest pet peeve with this fic. I've got a few others: Louise not being able to cast any spells before her familiar summoning, familliars somehow affecting the potency of a mage's spells, the heavily nerfed Gandalfr runes, Markey genes reducing birthrate (I am actually curious if that's true for pureblooded Markey, the average mage is a square class in all elements kind) and probably a few others I can't remember at the moment.
Now, I know what I wrote just now has sounded pretty negative but I really enjoyed this story. I've just read through the whole thing in the last five days and it's been great. I look forward to the next chapter.
| Ghost chapter 5 . 4/30
Why is the protagonist using plural us and we? Hes not a King nor is he in a group.
| ZayneLvLz chapter 40 . 4/14
im dying for the next full chapter now. this is my first full dip into the FoZ fandom of fanfics but I'm heavily invested now. this story was amazing so far. the development of characters and world. im eagerly waiting for more. i hope life permits it and things are well for you.
Thank you for the hard work
| Guest chapter 40 . 3/26
Love the world building!
This is definitely the best Familiar of Zero Fanfiction I have every read.
Siato always pissed me off, he is a total wimp never stands up for himself and just lets Louise beat and treat him like an animal. I never believed the romance in the original.
Your story is much better. Great job!
| the froggy ninja chapter 32 . 2/25
I wonder if our homeboy Jason will remember the bit where he heard her trance mantra. And if so if he’ll think to link it to good old JJ.