Reviews for Zombies
C. Mechayoshi chapter 9 . 3/8
Now this story threw me for a twist! The way the difference franchise kingdoms interacted was nice and the thing about Luigi as was understated but present. It would have been nice if that was expanded on, and then the uncertainty of it all! Over all good story.
Alex chapter 9 . 5/29/2014
Now that was a well written work of fiction! Very well written, fantastic detail and what a great cliff hanger. I know it's unlikely that you'll make a sequel or a continue the series. But just wow! I'm curious what was your inspiration for what happened with Peach and Sonic in this chapter? Perhaps Marvel Zombies or something similar? Or was it all just thought up in your mind while writing? Either way very interesting.
Luigified531 chapter 10 . 9/19/2012
NO! Not the end!
I can't believe Peach would eat somebody! Well, she is undead... Never mind...
Thinking zombies equal scary...
That means Tails will become a zombie? And maybe that Colossi thing? It may not follow this world...
Luigified531 chapter 9 . 8/14/2012
I can't believe Toadsworth died... Or maybe I misread... Oops.
Anyway, what a chapter. I hope this will end somewhat happily, but I never can expect.
Please write more!
Luigified531 chapter 8 . 8/14/2012
Luigi rescued them! With items from Super Mario Galaxy 2. Yay!
What an eventful chapter. ONWARD I SHALL GO!
Luigified531 chapter 7 . 8/14/2012
Well, I suppose I'll leave a short and sweet review here, kay?
Well, that is a gruesome and detailed description of the zombified Toads. But, then if I didn't want that, I would not be here.
Wait, what's the 2nd transformation? Hmmm...
At least Dr. Toadley's safe... For now.
LUIGI! A girl, but still, yay!
He rescued them. Hope reigns today!
Luigified531 chapter 6 . 8/14/2012
Well, I don't know what happened to my long review, but all in all, this chapter was good and descriptive. It leaves with little to no hope of the leaders or residents of the various kingdoms. Yet, it states that this may be reversed, so there is a glint of hope. Great job!
Guest chapter 9 . 7/29/2012
this was a very boring crappy harder.
hi chapter 4 . 7/29/2012
sir sonic hedghog my ass!
sup chapter 4 . 7/29/2012
dude i hate sonic! put him in a crossover not a mario only fic what the hell? im actually EPICYOSHI but i was to lazy to log in today
this chapter was a bit boring bit i really liked the end of it. i dont like link or the ledgend of zelda, but thats my opinion. i enjoyed the first chapter a lot though. and thanks for letting me ,a stranger, review!
Guest chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
Great first chapter!I'm already hooked!
tetekanui chapter 1 . 7/7/2012
WOW! An honest-to-goodness, played straight zombie Mario fic! I...Just give me a few moments to collect myself...Okay, done. This premise is made of win. ZombiesMario is actually a story that I was planning to write in the future, as I've wanted to see one for so long. Your take on the epidemic is much different from what mine would've been, and that's part of what fuels my enthusiasm; this is a premise that I've wanted to see executed in a way that I hadn't thought of!

I mentioned that this narrative is played straight, and by that I mean it's not satirical or parody-like in tone. But that's not to say it doesn't have its tongue-in-cheek moments, and the humor sprinkled throughout the seriousness is both welcome and exactly the kind of thing I like to see. I mean, for example, this line right here: "he examined them the good old-fashioned way, leaping and bashing his skull into the base of each floating brick" - that is a little ribbing at the Nintendo canon if I ever saw it.

Speaking of canon, you have a good grasp of it, as I can see threads underlying this story that showcase the love you obviously have for the Mario series, but you've also given the world your own little twist and added depth to a, let's face it, candycoated, colorful, but ultimately substanceless world. You've added a War backstory to intrigue the curiosity, as well as a knighted Mario who frequently patrols the kingdom in times of peace. These concepts seamlessly wove into canon and mentioned so briefly that I am anxious for more information.

Now, I'll admit, it did kind of make me roll my eyes a bit when the koopalings were referred to as "Kruel." Way to sell the alliteration there, heh, but it was such a minor thing, and I got back into the swing of things very soon afterwards. Oh, and there was a part where the word "of" was capitalized for no reason that I could readily discern.

The Goomba scene was well-executed, as far as starting as an easily-quashed assassination attempt and segueing into a zombie attack. I loved the reveal that Goombas shouldn't even possess blood, though I would hope for a little more emoting from Mario. The shock, horror, and fear he must be feeling aren't evident in his reaction, nor is the severity of the bite. Perhaps he should've "hobbled" or "limped" toward Mushroom Castle? "Proceeded" doesn't seem like a strong enough word when your character is suffering from a zombie bite, y'know?

You have a good grasp on grammar, but you seem averse to splitting up your sentences. As a result, you have several long sentences with commas galore. I wonder if the story might flow a bit better with a little editing in that department?

And the length is rather short, at least in this first chapter. Even reading it as a prologue, it's a lightning-quick read. It feels like you're just hitting the stride of your chapter, so that's something to think about.

Overall, I'm impressed at how well you started off this story. Mario with zombies? Heck yeah! My Mario zombie idea would've involved going very, very Alternate Universe and involved lots of guns and bazookas and grenades and Molotov cocktails and the like, but it seems you've placed things in a more traditional canon setting so I doubt such artillery will be available to our heroes...and I can't wait to see how the inhabitants of this world DO fend off the ravenous undead.
Luigified531 chapter 5 . 7/5/2012
Wow. Such savagery. I hopethis never happens, although, I guess in our world, it might be a nuclear incident that starts it?
I wish it was a plot by the Koopa Kingdom... And even if it was, there is no possible way for this... this, plague, to be controlled.
And yet, they forgot that the princess would soon become one of... those monsters.
Wait, Luigi's a girl? ...Genderswap! I do hope that was on purpose.
Ohhhh, a commanding Peach... Scary!
And I still have to wonder about Daisy, and Yoshi's Island.
MarigoldxObsidian chapter 5 . 6/30/2012
This is very interesting...
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