|Reviews for Drops of Death|
| IEezAsian chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
No offense, but Grendel seems like a pedophile. \
Really good story, I absolutely love it!
WRITE MORE CHAPTERS! I HAVE CRAVINGS!
| x-SystemRestore chapter 1 . 5/14/2012
Troy Stark, Tony Stark, Iron Man, The Avengers movie having come out just a week ago...
Don't know if you're high off the movie popcorn butter still, but I suggest a name change. With the high popularity of the Marvel characters right now, people might get confused and they may call you out on "stealing" the name even though it might not have been your intentions.
As for the grammar, you had quite a few capitalization errors that I won't point out because it's not THAT important.
I'm going to get to the main problem and address it frankly. The writing is choppy. Especially in the dialogue.
Basically all you're doing is "he said" "she said" "he asked" "she asked." It's a circling pattern and it makes the scenes "colorless." Perhaps add in more details about what the character is doing while talking. Maybe add in a simple quirk that your character does. Yes, I know how hard it is to make lines of dialogue seem unique from one another.
Other than those, some good things I saw were some parts that had some good descriptions. Decent intro into things, seems somewhat interesting for me to keep reading. All in all, not bad.