|Reviews for Not Stalking Firelord Zuko|
| Lakitalover chapter 19 . 11/10/2013
I could tell for your earlier writing that Ty Lee is an airbender in your "head cannon" but I don't think I ever expressed how brilliant I think that is. You have a real knack for coming up with creative and fitting endings for literally everyone on the show.
| Lakitalover chapter 17 . 11/10/2013
Finally! That was a really fitting ending to Mai and Zuko's relationship. Props for Zuko suggesting Mai work with Jun, because that's probably the kindest and most realistic post-war ending for Mai. The kiss scene was just right. I don't like that cheesy rom-com crap either. Although I have to say your characterization of Jet is a bit over the top. I felt a bit awkward and bizarre reading about him, especially his comment about necrophilia. I'm not sure if Jet's supposed to be in denial here or if you just like to write him as angry at his friends' teasing, but I never pegged him as bi-just really anti-fire nation and paranoid with and added dose of obsessive personality disorder. I'm slightly confused as to what you were going for there. That said the story has been quite good overall. I like that you gave a fair amount of attention to the Joo Dees and Di Lai prisoners. I also loved Zuko's speech several chapters ago in which he banned Agni-Kais. I've never been so proud of a fictional character before.
| Lakitalover chapter 9 . 11/8/2013
I must once again applaud you for how you are writing about the problem of Oazi. My sister and I shared very long rants about how much Aang's get out responsibility free lion turtle ending sucked and how awful the writers were for ruining the end of the series like that when everything else had been so awesome up until that point (except Kataang of course. That's just stupid. One does not date her "adopted" little brother/son. Ew.) Kudos for the way Toph's parents issues are being dealt with as well. It makes me really happy to see someone rewriting all the wrongs of the show and adding fun details while tying loose ends.
| Lakitalover chapter 8 . 11/8/2013
I think I owe you another review. I love how you are handling the Azula situation and that you haven't forgotten her. I also really like how you write about Ty Lee, and Zuko's party was hilarious. The first few chapters of this story totally cracked me up.
However, I am rather miffed that you had Katara and Zuko's important conversations keep getting interrupted or going awry and now I will have to read what is likely to be many chapters of Katara moping about Zuko dating Gloomy Hairbuns instead of her. Boo! I'm getting seriously annoyed with Zuko and Katara. Everyone else seems to know they're in love with each other but them. I know they are both shy/scared and have issues, but I'd like to think that they aren't that dumb! I appreciate that you never rushed their relationship, but good grief, it's been 100s of 1000s of words now. Just have them kiss already! XD (But in all fairness you probably included a decent justification for this somewhere in a long rambly author's note that I skipped. Sorry, but I only skim them and only sometimes. Other times I'm too interested in what is going to happen next, and I prefer to scroll passed them to get to the next chapter in order to avoid interrupting the flow of the story. I can tell you love to read, so I'm sure you understand it's nothing personal).
You've also done a great job with weaving all the other storylines together realistically, and I'm happy with how you wrote about Dr. Yang and Katara's first day as a "doctor," the watertribe sexism debate, and poor Rozin and Toph being darn near embarrassed to death. :)
| conperi chapter 28 . 10/10/2013
The characterizations in this were amazing, but the growth for everyone individually was especially great. I absolutely loved that while this is obviously a Zutara fic, you didn't dare to ignore any of their other meaningful relationships in the series. Characters often demonized (Aang, Azula, Mai) were handled with grace and I'm so pleased you've managed to find them their own happiness that worked incredibly for their personalities. I'm particularly excited for Aang, as he is probably the most problematic character in the show for me, but you had managed to hit the nail on the head for every issue I had and forced him to acknowledge those flaws and play to his strengths. And I'm SO glad Katara's view of Gloomy Hairbuns shifted; I feel like you've nailed her character perfectly.
Gosh, I just want to gush forever and I'm not even talking about the stars of the story. But seriously; Toph, Sokka, Hakoda, Iroh, and even the humanizing moment for Jet were all integral to the movement of this story and I'm so happy you've captured their spirits so beautifully. This was quite the ride, thank you!
| Guest chapter 17 . 10/6/2013
This is probably the longest fic I've spent reading (about 2 days for all three books) and in the middle of Not Stalking Firelord Zuko I just have to say, it's enough.
It was actually a pleasant read in the first installment. By the second it was pretty alright but got a little zzz from time to time. This third book was just boring.
The thing I liked most was how in-character everyone is, and the issues presented, but I hate hate hated (like really really bad) how draggy everything became. It just felt like too many concepts were being introduced before any ones prior were solved and it was just simply not entertaining anymore. For example, if you were to read a chapter as a stand-alone and treat it like an episode in a series, it would be just like a filler. A filler with -nonsense-nonsense-nonsense-helpmovealongtheplot-o therproblem-nonsense again and again. That would be my greatest complaint about this fic.
I like your portrayal of Pakku, however, no matter how deeply ingrained the Water tribe cultures are in them, there are still a few that would contest to it wholeheartedly. It's just disappointing how the frustration has been kept in from NotStalkingZ all the way to the middle of NotStalkingFZ.
In addition, I don't think your portrayal of Jet fits in at all. There are a lot of inconsistencies with his character and I liked the chemistry between him and Katara but it ended up being about Zuko (surprise, surprise) and that was just the last straw for me.
I think it could possibly be a great fic. Possibly. But it has jts faults, and could use improvement.
Other than that there were very few grammatical errors and it had a good flow from chapter section to chapter section. That's all. Thank you for posting these!
| juana24 chapter 28 . 10/1/2013
Wahh I went back and reread this.. why must it be over? Can you please continue this series somewhat, as in have them find Zuko's mother? I love this fic, though I was looking forward to some sexy times. ;)
| Boogum chapter 27 . 9/29/2013
I find it kind of hilarious everyone is getting trapped in places to work out their problems. Toph and Iroh are crafty.
/I had been holding off on saying it. I was waiting until an important moment would come along make the words more...I don't know...serious and heavy. I thought waiting would make them mean more – but it didn't. I love you would've always meant the same thing whenever I said it to him. The timing didn't make those words mean anything more or anything less./
Really, really loved this line! It's a nice (and true) sentiment, and I think you handled their fight and make-up really well. I could see it playing out just like that, and with Katara blurting out that she loves him mid-fight. Also made me giggle that Zuko did the 'I'm grumpy but not even' thing when he learned about Katara telling everyone of their secret relationship. And of course I appreciated that you didn't have Sokka or Hakoda go crazy. Perfectly agree that they're not the over-protective sort - at least not if they already respect the guy she is dating.
Oh, Aang. I loved this whole scene where he made his speech. Felt like a proud Mum. He's really growing up and learning how to be a good Avatar, and that is promising for the future. Plus, it just made me feel warm fuzzies.
In any case, this has been a great series to read! I'm so glad I decided to give it try, because I have enjoyed many, many laughs and some truly adorable and moving moments! (and I do apologise if this review doesn't make much sense. Still feeling half-asleep, ha)
| Boogum chapter 26 . 9/28/2013
So I'm half-falling asleep here (life hates me, seriously. Every time I try to catch up on my unread fanfic alerts I get sleepy, no matter how much I love the story), so this review will be short. But I really, really liked this chapter - especially the conversation between Mai and Katara. Nice to see them bonding, in their own slightly dysfunctional way. Also wanted to bro-fist Song when she put the dowager in her place.
| Boogum chapter 25 . 9/28/2013
Finally have time to read this again! Hazzuh!
So I love this. But then when do I not? I think you're right that Song and Katara would hit it off. They're both healers and have that more motherly, caring nature. I also couldn't stop laughing at the inelegant struggling sandwich between Jet, Katara and Mai. Gosh, I've forgotten how much I love and miss your humour. Poor Katara being trapped in the middle of that. Also LOL at the daisy apron of shame.
OMG. The whole gastric problems/fire-vomit conversation had me cracking up - especially when Hakoda told them to desist. Poor Zuko, lol.
Mai and Jet are wonderful. Never let them change. And I can't stop laughing at 'take a ride on the grumpy express'.
I'm not surprised this fight happened between Katara and Zuko. I would explain my reasons for why, but you pretty much summed that up in your author note at the end. Completely agree.
| StrangePointOfView chapter 28 . 8/28/2013
Okay, so this story is amazing. It is absolutely fabulous! It’s just so emotional, and so beautiful! I love how Toph and her mother were able to make up, in their own fashion. I like that the Earth King fell in love with Song, I think she’d make a great queen. I love how Aang and Zuko come into their own as leaders. I love the exploration of Azula’s psyche, and her relationship with Mai, Zuko, and Ty Lee.
That scene where Katara lost all hope just before kissing Aang was terrible. I wept. In fact, tears were shed a lot during this fic, but this was particularly tear-yanking. Seeing the most optimistic character ever just accept her ‘fate’ to a loveless life on the advice of a respected but misguided colleague was genuinely heartbreaking, and I am very very glad that she and Zuko got together so quickly afterwards. That scene was just too sad, the story would not have recovered if you left the recovery any later than that very night.
I like the political plays of the fire nation, and the various nations during the peace treaty. The NWT are jerks though. No excuses. They may have their reasons, but they are still such massive jerks.
As usual, all your characters are spot-on with regards to characterizations. Although, I do feel that King Kuei and Jet weren’t portrayed in character.
Jet’s a better manipulator than you make him out to be. According to Mai, Jet's personality has only four basic settings: flirting, gloating, crazy and being a colossal dick. I respectfully disagree, and it’s a shame you portray such a unique character like this. Jet has charm. Jet owns charm. Jet is the king of charm. Why on earth would Katara fall for him in the first place if he didn’t have charm? She wasn’t that gullible or that hopelessly romantic even in the beginning of her character arc, to fall for the Jet you’ve portrayed here.
Jet was cunning! In his introductory episode, he played on the water sibling’s emotions like a grand piano. First he charmed Katara by portraying himself as an ally, a freedom fighter just like her. He picked up on the sarcasm and the look she gave to Sokka when she said ‘we were following our instinct’ and replied with a backhanded compliment that could have gone either way; if Sokka liked him, then he could have offered to teach Sokka how to not follow his instinct (at this point he only thought of Sokka as a moron) and if Sokka took a disliking to him, he could have offered to protect Katara from her brother’s instincts, and whichever way he went, siding with her against her brother was a good way to get on Katara’s good side. He continued to play the two against each other throughout the episode, after getting a feel for where Sokka stood by attacking the old man. When Sokka got angry, he just suggested to Katara that Sokka was only angry because he cared for her, and pretended to try and make it better between them while at the same time driving them further apart.
Jet is incredibly charismatic; he knows it, and he’s learned to use it to his advantage. He does not go around having shouting matches with people, he would never date three girls at the same time if they could find out about it, and he would not use cheey pick-up lines like a variation of ‘Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?’ he is just too smart for that! Only the Ember Island players think Jet went crazy when he attacked Uncle; it was a Good Plan! He knew they were firebenders (because he’s smart) and so he attacked Uncle, thinking that either Uncle or Zuko would have to firebend to defend themselves. He only failed because Zuko is just awesome enough to not need firebending.
To me, Jet deliberately makes himself into a mask. He was probably taken in by kindly people after his home was burnt down, and learned that you could do anything if people liked you. He’s been getting his way ever since by getting people to like him, by gathering followers, by schmoozing with the people who could teach him to do swords. I think his robin hood gettup is just a mask. Notice how most of his followers are talented children? These kids want somebody to be in charge, they want a cool big brother or a rebel leader who tells them what to do about the fire nation. And that’s how he gets his way; he acts like he knows what he’s doing, so even when he tries to flood a town with earth kingdom citizens still inside, his people can tell themselves that Jet knows what he’s doing, and he must be right. I think that’s why the group split up; maybe after Katara left, he went through a small crisis, maybe even followed through on his threats and wiped out a town. I think that Jet’s mask broke then, and he realized he didn’t know what he was doing either, and the loss of earth kingdom life was too great for him to handle, no matter how big he talked. I think his loss of faith in himself is why Pipsqueak and The Duke left him, but why Smellerbee and Longshot stayed with him; his admission that he isn’t perfect would have made some reject him, but would have made those two see who he was under the mask he wore all the time, and they would have grown closer as friends, even to the point of family like you have them here. Jet put his mask on again afterwards, but now Smellerbee and Longshot wouldn’t be devoted followers who do whatever he says anymore; they’d be friends, wanting to help him be a better person.
If Jet did have four settings, they’d be this; Confident Leader, Cynical Ninja, Angry Warrior, and Flirt. And all of those settings would be masks, to hide the true Jet, the Jet that doesn’t know how things went so wrong from trying to avenge his parents, the Jet that still wants to avenge his parents and everybody in the firenation, but isn’t in a position to do so the way he’s used to doing it, and has to make it up as he goes along. He has good intentions at heart, but they’re clouded with unending anger, and sharpened by the mind of a rebel leader and charmer. I actually think Azula would have been a good match for Jet, because they both wear their masks, and they’d both be the only ones intelligent enough to pierce the other’s.
So it’s a real shame to me, given this view of Jet as a character, that this fic portrays him as some ranting half-baked loon. I’m not quite ready to accept that the Jet who calmly lied to the Gaang to buy them some time with his last moments, is the same Jet who looses his cool every time Zuko, Katara or Mai get involved. Jet is always collected, he only ever panics when he’s being brainwashed or when he’s recovering from brainwashing, and the constant goofery and awkwardness he’s put through just doesn’t make him seem like Jet. This is not somebody that Katara could ever have had any feelings for.
Also, Kuei is much stronger than you make him out to be. When I watched the show, I got the impression that he’s the kid in second grade who gets declared the head of the science project. He knows that what he’s doing doesn’t matter, but he’s going to do it anyway because he’s in charge and he wants to do the best that he can do, even if his partners are just wasting time playing games.
To me, I think Kuei’s only problem as a leader, wasn’t that he was a soft leader, but was that he didn’t know what he was leading. Long Feng would have made king-ship out to be simple, boring work. He would have let the king in on some things about the kingdom, because he’s the king but he wouldn’t want the kingdom run poorly. So Long Feng would have trained Kuei to be a great king, so that he could make a great impression at parties, and to people he met, and then he would have told Kuei only the parts about the city’s administration that he wanted Kuei to know about.
Even though the Gaang burst into his palace weapons drawn, Kuei was perfectly willing to listen to them once they proved their intentions by putting down their weapons. He gave them multiple chances to share their point of view before he judged them, and when crunch time came he did the hardest thing any man could ever do; he admitted he was wrong. And he even told Long Feng off before he knew he was wrong; he made it clear to Long Feng that he was the king, and he made the decisions, and he protected the Gaang when Long Feng wanted them to be arrested before they could share their story. And then when he realized he was wrong, and his kingdom was far greater and in far more danger than Long Feng had told him it was, then he did his best to find out, immediately searching through Long Feng’s personal files, and then going on a journey with his bear to discover the truth behind what’s happening in his kingdom. The journey wasn’t to find love, or to discover himself, or to hide from the fire nation, it was to learn more about how his people really felt so he could be a better leader in the future. He wouldn’t just sit on his throne if somebody told him about the Jo Dees, he would have gone down to them and made a decision for himself (which he eventually did, but he wouldn’t need a fifteen year old to prompt him).
I think Kuei would have respected his mother’s council, but as she too was tricked by Long Feng, she would have even less of an idea of how to rule then Kuei did, and he would have listened to her but made his own decisions about things, like Song and like the Jo Dees. He also has gravitas; he doesn’t have as much as uncle Iroh, but Long Feng certainly taught him to make an impression, and enough to impress the visiting rulers. He’s only a giant dork who loves bear-bears and Appa rides to his friends, but in public he is certainly a better King than you believe him to be.
Anyway, wow, this review has been quite long hasn’t it? Sorry for taking up so much of your time. I just really want to say this the Stalking Zuko series is awesome! I really hope you continue it, or at least that you keep writing Avatar stories. It’s really amazing the stuff you think about, and you write it well, and I’d love to hear what endings you’d have for people like Pipsqueak,
| Zutara22 chapter 28 . 8/13/2013
| Zutara22 chapter 27 . 8/13/2013
sooooo goooood! i cant believe its over... but it was an amazing & hilarious journey. bitter-sweet that it is finished now. :')
keep writing! 3
| Sakarya chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
sorrak ciroc ? lololol
| Guest chapter 27 . 8/7/2013
Aw, I really liked this chapter!
...and did I spot some Castle lines thrown in there?