|Reviews for Waiting|
| 99 Terubytes chapter 1 . 10/23/2013
Dat ending... XD
| lidijanette chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
OMG XD HAHAHA! I burst out laughing next to my crazy old mother who glared at me and yelled, "SHUT UP!"
WHO CCARES?! I love this XD :D
| Vivelitari chapter 1 . 6/6/2013
That's... :) I guess
| Glaceon1362 chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
| Kaith1 chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
Okay, that was...TOO FUCKING CUTE.
I know the exact feeling Red has, that time seems to stand still when you're waiting for someone. I wasn't expecting that ending and Red was a little OCC, but I still loved it.
That coffee came back to haunt him huh? XD
| Glaceon1362 chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
Aww, how cute! The end, and blue, were really funny. Nice work!
| HeroOfReshiram chapter 1 . 6/2/2012
Do you smell...coffe?
This is really amusing good work
| alicekinsno1 chapter 1 . 5/19/2012
This is a charming story. I like the way you got inside Red's head, and relayed some of the times that he and Yellow had spent together. His frustration seemed very genuine.
The writing overall is above average quality. I noticed that there were times when you suddenly switched to present tense even though the overarching story was in past tense. For example:
"He's thinking about her again, and that always made him a bit anxious"
The writing would have been more consistent overall if you said "He was" instead.
I also find it a little difficult to believe that characters who behaved in a certain way when they were children would behave in exactly the same way as adults, as some of the exchanges between Red, Yellow, and Blue seem to imply. Then again, you might have had a good reason for doing that, and I'm not horribly familiar with the characters as they appear in the manga.
I also found one sentence that bothered me a bit:
"Red really regretted wearing a tux, but it was worth it — his wife managed to convince herself that she'd only be wearing this once, and then it'll all be over."
I'm not sure if you're trying to imply that it's Red or Yellow who's uncomfortable with fancy clothes, since that particular sentence seems a bit contradictory in that regard.
That being said, the writing overall is quite good, and I liked some of the little details you managed to fit in (such as Red spilling coffee, Yellow's shoes at her wedding, etc.
| xxxDreamingflowerxxx chapter 1 . 5/17/2012
XD If I were Red I'd have fallen asleep a long time ago. I can't believe he even forgot to clean up the mess he made. Lolz very cute oneshot ;)