Reviews for Beneath the Eagle's Wing
Just a Crazy-Man chapter 4 . 8/7/2013
Nice
jarhead762 chapter 4 . 5/3/2013
Just. Readghrough it all. Perry good.

Thuoght it
Ganheim chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
Funny how all the Command and Conquer multi-chaptered stories have effectively been journal based

[Really? I hadn’t seen one yet – though the only one I keep track of is Peptuck’s Tiberium Wars]

Chapter 1

through the tortured sky to the north

[Isn’t the sun in the southern sky in Aswan?]

The helmet was to be used at my own discretion

[Usually a helmet completes an environmental suit. Without it you might as well be naked in Chernobyl]

guerrillas of mutants

[or, I think]

tech belonging to the 20th

[Actually, barbed wire goes back well before the 19th century, we just couldn’t mass-manufacture it until late in the Industrial Age, which gets into the 20th century]

about the scrin?

[You’ve been consistent about keeping Tiberium (normally capitalized as a proper name) lower case, so that’s been fine, but I’m certain that the Scrin is the name of the race and hence is a proper term and should be capitalized]

None of the adults asked those questions.

I think they already knew the answers.

[Very much said in very few words. Well put]

Chapter 2

"And it's not food poisoning?"

[Actually, “food poisoning” is a fairly broad term that can some times be used to describe when the food reacts as if the person ingested something toxic, which could be improperly cooked or prepared food or just food significantly outside a person’s standard diet]

More chance to do nothing

[chances?]

Apparently I'm now…"sunshine

[Sounds sarcastic to me]

we suffer any losses

[we *didn’t*?]

can survived in red zones

[survive]

Chapter 3

second only PFC Carlton

[only to]

I think it’s relatively interesting the insight given with the distant-first-person narrative, but it still seems very distant. While the fact that it’s a journal handwaves having to show anything, in the end I still walk away from each chapter with the sense that it’s been all telling and no showing. We aren’t getting a great many details, things that make this story an irreplaceable unique tale of its own. Not a bad shot – technical aspects are far better than most stories, but it still lacks that power of presence.