|Reviews for Missing in Action|
| Grinning Wolf chapter 9 . 11/6/2013
I'm really loving this so far and I'm so excited to see a fic that focuses on Vashyron let alone on the relationship between him and Zephyr that formed in a period in the game that we never got to see. So far it seems like you've gotten both characters down pat and I love how badass you're making Vashyron. With that sad I've been noticing a few plot holes in your story here and there (they untied Zephyr...really? Why would any villain ever do that?) and you've contradicted yourself here and there but that could possibly be just due to the time between when you were writing and possible hiatuses. You should also edit your story a bit more as the moderately frequent mistakes cause a mental snag when people are reading.
But regardless of that I'm having a lot of fun reading his fic and I can't wait to see what happens next. There's not that big of a fan base here for RoF fics and I'm happy to see this one and that it updated fairly recently. I can't wait to see what happens next and to see that transition between Zephyr simply trying to run away to the two of them forming the bond they share in the game.
| Zephyr169 chapter 9 . 8/17/2013
This story Rocks! It's a definite MUST read!
| Von chapter 9 . 7/10/2013
Well, I effing love this. Fantastic fleshing of world and characters, great IN character dialogue - thank you for writing this!
| QueenOfDirt chapter 9 . 6/19/2013
Not much ROF fanfiction out there, and this story is pretty cool. Hope you update soon. Thanks for writing : )
| blackkyu chapter 9 . 6/14/2013
*laughs* man this is fun! Can't wait for the next chap!
| Telyra chapter 9 . 4/17/2013
Whoa, I missed a lot of updates, didn't I?
And I'm still so very busy, that this review will be rather short (sorry!)
Once again, I loved every second of reading.
Only three little things in this last chapter:
The POV-chance in the middle of the chapter was kinda hard to spot. One second we are with Vashyron and the next we are with Zephyr. Maybe add one of these lines, FFnet let's you add, or use something like " ", just so that the reader knows, that there's a new scene coming up.
Then: "The shaking gun was gripped in his otherwise limp arm, a new ." (End of the forth paragraph from the bottom).
A new what? A new dot? ;)
And also there on the roof, Zephyr climbs up and suddenly tries to open some door. I kinda wondered, where this door suddenly came from, since you didn't mention before, that there was a door on the roof (or I overred it. ")
Oh and fan-nitpick: Vashyron never uses knives in the game! You totally made that up! How dare you?! It's like you made this whole story just up!
(sorry, SORRY! I couldn't resist! I'll shut up now, before I end up at the wrong end of that knife!)
Do I still get an update?! *puppy eyes*
| Kanrei chapter 9 . 4/13/2013
both are running around injured hmmm, nice chapters
| Sarah-chan chapter 7 . 4/9/2013
"I've always hated you guys."
Best last words EVER! :D
And I like this chapter. Short, but nice.
Okay, I don't know, how this all fits in with Vashyrons time in the army (all the ten seconds we got from the flashback, where he didn't die), but I'm sure, you have it all figured out already
As for favourite costume/outfit:
Definitely the Politan thing! ;)
Or the naked one!
Naaa, only kidding!
I'm afraid, this answer will have to wait until the weekend (my console is at home, while I'm at the little apartment at the students' hostel).
Btw, how do you define "outfit"? Would it be enough to guess the right jacket/shirt and trousers or do we need to guess right on the shoes, belts and glasses, too?!
Anyway, I'll sit down at the weekend and try to guess your taste ;)
(And then I'll fail at the fact, that I've got the German version of the game with the German names! So, I'll try to describe them and translate their names, but it might just end up with "B style, shirt: 17th, counting from the bottom) :p
And I have to admit, I left Vasyhron mostly in his standard-outfit. I just liked that leather jacket. I don't even know why!
| Kanrei chapter 7 . 4/9/2013
So in this, Zeph. is temporarily forgotten huh...
| Silver Cress chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Yes Telyra, they are still in Ebel city. I guess in my mind I didn't feel like stating that, I just kind of figured that since Vashyron was talking about him not leaving the city it clicked with me but not all you good folk are mind readers, I'll make a point of where they are in the next chapter.
Don't worry too much about what I think, you're right to catch the things you did. It was more to get used to the feel of Avril's character (and don't worry there will be some character development on her later, she's rather plain and boring on purpose but her and Vashy have a little... history that will expanded upon in a later mission. All in good time though.
In short, you are right, chapter six is a mini-filler to help stop the rushed feeling I was getting from the story, also the way I write the chapters is more one after the other in timeline. It was still daylight when Zephyr was captured but dark after Vashyron finally found his way to Avril. I may put something about that in there at a later date, but the little time-skip was necissary for... well *spoiler* *spoiler* *spoiler*.
Oh and finally, Vashyron might have let Avril kick his ass without putting up a fight, partially because he was wounded and needed to conserve energy. Don't worry, he's just trying to man it up a little and ignore it. But knowing me... [insert maniacal laugh here].
Anyways, great to hear back from you guys! I hope you stay with me, the next chaoter will be up in a few days!
P.S. I've decided I'm dubbing Avril's bar The Clam. Hahahaha... hah...
| Sarah-chan chapter 6 . 3/22/2013
Hey, new chapter
Good things first: it's well written. Vashyron kicks ass. And the descriptions are beautiful. Really, really beautiful.
But I must ask: how much time passed between the last chapter and this one? Is it still the same day? If so, why didn't Vashyron's wound hinder him in the fight.
And I keep wondering: was this chapter really necessary? Not that I don't like it. Hell no, I really like it. It's still a good chapter. But it feels like filler. It feels incredible like filler. Good filler, but still filler. It didn't really advance the plot or the characters. Yes, yes, Vasyhron now has the location of Zephyr - but still. You could have as easily stated at the beginning of the next chapter, that Vashyron just tracked Zephyr down, or asked his way around or something.
Please don't take this personal or as a flame or anything! I don't hate the chapter or anything. Actually, I don't mind it at all. But it just feels like filler in a fic, that was mostly driven by the advance of story and characters until now. Maybe we need to slow down. Maybe a "breather-chapter" was needed, I really can't tell.
I actually think, it's Avril, that bugs me the most. She almost reads like a borderline Mary-Sue (I mean, come on, she takes down Vashyron in one move! Okay, he's probably still wounded from the last chapter and everything, but still).
Also I'm trying to find out, if I would prefer her to be a one-off character or to return at some point. Because, if she would return later on, this chapter wouldn't be filler anymore, but a first introduction to her character.
But at the same time, I don't want her to return, because I don't know, what to think of her. She just pops up, has a short discussion with Vashyron, that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth (am I really the only one, who gets almost a borderline-date-rapist-vibe from Vashy here?), kicks everyones ass and then even knows what Vashyron wants and where he can find it.
HOW? Just how the hell does she now all this? Even Vasyhron wonders that! The only explanation I have is, that a few days have passed since the last chapter and she just heard of Vashyron running around, searching for a "blond boy on the run". But then I'm just starting to get more confused: what did Zephyr do all these days to stick out like that? Even just Ebel-City is a quite large (okay, I can't proof that. In the game it's just three streets, but I think it's implied that Ebel is not the smallest of towns - but okay, that may be just me. Maybe I'm wrong). Would people really be able to remember that one blond boy?
And if Ebel is a smaller place - why would Zephyr stick around? Leave the city! Lvl 4 is huge! There are probably other places (places not included in the game, but there has to be something on these wide open spaces of gamescreen)! Go there!
Or are they already somewhere else? Then again: how did Vashyron follow Zephyr until now? Did really so many people remember that one blond boy, they passed on the street, that they could point Vashyron in the right direction?
I feel horrible now! :(
I made this chapter sound bad! That really wasn't my intention!
I just wrote down what bugged me and it became HUGE.
Sorry! Really, really sorry!
It's still good! I still enjoyed reading it. I still enjoyed your writing and everything else.
And I just wanted to point out that one small thing! That this chapter felt a little like filler and I'm not sure, when and where it takes place!
I'm so incredible sorry!
Please don't stop writing or anything! Please continue! All of this, it's just one small point of confusion! It's not important or anything!
Oh please don't go into another hiatus again! I would feel guilty for the rest of my life!
Just update - and I'm sure, I'll be completely happy again!
After all, in the end, it still was a good chapter! It really was! I swear!
And please don't hate me! I really didn't want to sound harsh or anything! D
Please - update to show me, that you don't hate me (and because it's an awesome fic that has readers waiting impatiently for the next chapter) :D
| Telyra chapter 6 . 3/17/2013
Well, that escalated quickly!
A nice chapter, but I must ask: where are they? Are they still in Ebel-City or some other place? (I mean, that tower is HUGE and there are probably way more places and cities than shown in the game)
Otherwise - yeah, uhm… why is the chapter named "clam before the store"? I thought they were in front of a club, not a store!
(And one of these days you'll have to give us more on Vashyrons back story - I want to know how he ended up with the nickname "prettyboy". I mean, yeah, he's pretty and he probably was a boy once, but still.)
Yeah, as you can see, I'm nitpicking, because there is really nothing else, I can really comment on. Your writing is good as always, everybody is still in character and I want the next chapter (yes, I'm ungrateful that way! You give me a new chapter and I just demand the next!)
I mean, come on! Vashyron is in full blown "kill-mode" now - I'm really curious how Zephyr will survive this!
So, update please :D
Oh and: you didn't take a month or longer to update! *does a little dance of joy* :)
| Kanrei chapter 6 . 3/16/2013
Ohhhh some author-itical? people intervened!
| blackkyu chapter 6 . 3/16/2013
*laughs* can't wait for the next update! Thank you so much for the fast two chapters!
| Sarah-chan chapter 5 . 2/10/2013
Wow, I'm seemingly BLIND beyond belief.
I actually kept checking chapter 3 (the AN) by putting in the link directly, since you said, you would delete it, when you update the next chapter.
Yes, I managed to overlook the "next"-Button for over an month.
Anyway, great updates
But chapter 4 felt a little rushed, I have to admit.
I would have preferred to actually read about these first week between Zephyr and Vashyron instead of just a short summary of what happened (e.g. when and why did Zephyr tell Vashyron his name?).
Also the chapter started with Vashyron going on a mission, followed by three or four paragraphs of Zephyr's introspective - and then Vashyron is already back and I was kinda confused about the time that had passed. There was just nothing in that introspective parts, that made me assume that most of the day passed.
On the pro side:
I LOVED chapter 5.
"He would probably eventually remember to do that… eventually."
That line made me really, really laugh. It's just so perfect for the character and in itself a very funny line.
And then there was this other line that really intrigued me: "He really had to put out a request of his own for a new partner".
So, Vashyron had a partner before, since he want a NEW one?! I really wish to learn more.
And now Zephyr is on the run and hunted by Vashyron! I can hardly wait for the next chapter! Please update soon! (I will even take an extra-close look for the "next"-button!)