Reviews for A Proposal
HinataHyuuga06 chapter 1 . 4/10
guest chapter 1 . 9/5/2016
Kill yourself, fatass virgin.
guest chapter 1 . 6/30/2016
Sakura has no interest in Lee. Kill yourself, virgin fag.
guest chapter 1 . 6/6/2016
Kill yourself, virgin fag.
Usa-chan chapter 1 . 6/16/2015
Really sweet and funny!
satomika chapter 1 . 5/11/2015


Neji is so funny!
tanithlipsky chapter 1 . 1/31/2015
LucariosSteel chapter 1 . 12/21/2014
I loved it all except for the rain...
Dragon Man 180 chapter 1 . 10/20/2014
Nicely done, I do feel sorry for Naruto, he put so much effort into this night and nothing seemed to go right. But Hinata still said yes!
Sage Art Masengan chapter 1 . 8/15/2014
One Shot is Perfect Sage Level
MidnightRE chapter 1 . 7/6/2013
One word...or expression if you like: "Awwww..."
Luna Goddess of the Night chapter 1 . 4/26/2013
Hm, a bit of concrit. May I?

Your dialogue is fine. But when it comes to thoughts, just take out the single quotations. They're not needed. They're more of a distraction. As well as Kurama's voice, italicise it, and take out the quotations. The way he speaks is more through telepathy. In that case, the quotations are not needed.

And the pieces that say "flashback" and end flashback" are not needed as well. Instead, if you're leading up to a flashback, just say he's thinking back to when he was wounded, and then when he comes back to the present. Examples:

"He grinned, remembering how he had asked her out, drifting back to that day, so long ago."

And the end, just take out the flashback bit, and that could say that he returned back to reality.

As for the next morning bit, just say next morning. Example:

"The next morning, Tsunade had her arms crossed, staring at the three kunoichi and one shinobi in front of her."

And as for all caps, or capslock, it's not needed either. That tends to hurt the eyes. If you're doing shouting, just keep it at normal, font, and use words to describe it. Or, italicise it, if you're doing emphasis as well.

All in all, this was really cute. Shame that it all went to crap, yet she still accepted. That was cute. I'll have to take a look at your other stuff when I can.

-Luna, Constructive Criticism Guild
TIGERSAGE chapter 1 . 4/15/2013
short and sweet i like it excellent one-shot. please read and review my story: By Executive Orders.
gamelover41592 chapter 1 . 1/10/2013
MythicGR66 chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
I wish Hiashi teased Neji a bit more but still a great Fic
34 | Page 1 .. Last Next »