|Reviews for (5) Troubles In Paradise|
| bonanza4life chapter 6 . 6/7/2012
I get the feeling Joseph may not listen to Ethan no matter how he explains why he needs to not intervene with the bank robbers. Glad Mitch took Billy in hand. I like your character of Mitch! Keep up the good work.
| Sierra Rose 22 chapter 5 . 6/5/2012
Ahh, what sweet moments with Joseph and his brothers. Liked how he told Ben he was growing up and wanted to save him from making the same mistakes. Of course we all know how kids are, they don't always listen and end up making their own mistakes. Now as far as mistakes go, boys with guns is never a good thing and I have a feeling that Joseph is going to do something he will be sorry for because he listened to those boys! So funny when they all talked about the money they had in the bank and the robbers weren't going to get their money...very cute.
| gaben chapter 5 . 6/4/2012
I really like your OC of Mitch, we are getting a solid picture of his persona, great work.
The plot is interesting , I see the makings of a disater... lets hope they don't defend the jail, it could be catastrophic.
You describe these boys well, their ignorant, but energetic charcters are realistic of their age group and the times.
Joesph is really struggling with both sides isn't he, showing the maturity with ben , and wanting the adventure he sees adults having.
Nice to see ethan gain light hearted with the little ones, yet firm.
Can't wait to see how this pans out.
By the way, the formatting is working much better, and thoise little extra descriptors before and after dialogue are great... Like ...Joseph, having seen Ben slide past the bush quickly dove under and grabbed Ben by the leg. He jerked the boy down under the water to the correct side of the boundary. Now seeing the perplexed look on Ben's face he leans over and says in Ben's ear: " Ben, if you go past that boundary again,...
Just one more thing, when you have more than two people talking, you need to tell us who said what every now anad again, like when the twins were having the conversation with Joesph.
| FanofGibbs68 chapter 5 . 6/4/2012
I'm glad Joseph is showing maturity. I just hope he is mature enough to not shoot the gun. Super job!
| FanofGibbs68 chapter 4 . 6/4/2012
Poor Joseph. He needs to have more confidence in himself. He knew the answers. At least Uncle Ethan listened to him first! Wonderful!
| TRUMAN'S SHELL chapter 5 . 6/4/2012
Joseph didn't you learn your lesson to not listen to Jason and Jeff? I don't see a positive outcome if Joseph decides to learn how to shoot.
I loved that Joseph is making sure that Ben learns from his mistakes. The last line was my favorite :)
| Valerie chapter 1 . 6/4/2012
always a pleasure reading yours stories... with just a little problem... too long waiting what's gone to happen next ! many thanks !
regards from France
| Sierra Rose 22 chapter 4 . 6/3/2012
Oh Joseph, that was good that you didn't use the papers to cheat, but you still copied them and that was not smart. Speaking of smart, maybe next time you have to decide on a punishment you will think before you open your mouth. Looks like you have to do all those chores standing up anyway. LOL Liked the part of the frogs jumping sideways instead of straight...funny. Good chapter!
| bonanza4life chapter 4 . 6/3/2012
As always good chapter! Joseph can really get himself into a jam between a rock and a hard place.
| gaben chapter 4 . 6/3/2012
Lol at the ending here. Poor joesph yes he gshould have thought up some other punishments or just settled with the tanning Ethan was going to give him anyway. He cheated and that's that. Him looking up the answers meant he knew the answers to specific questions Ethan was quiet right to be angry with him and dish out the consequences. I also thought it was a better Ethan we saw this time by explaing why cheating meant to others. Ethan still seems a little harsh at times especially quick to punish, but we saw a lot more of his softer side in this story, yet the children seem still unsure and scared of him.
Still we are getting more details and descriptions... Lol still too many talking lines and I can't tell the difference between thought of the characters and what they ate actually saying out loud. I have read this last story on my iPad reader. And it was a lot easier to decider that. Sometimes the site formatting makes it difficult. Of course I can't spell on this bloody thing... Lol yet I'm still a learner.
Good job keep going with the story... Oh and I liked Mitch , I don't remember him in the episodes but then I only have seen a few, is he an OC . Anyway my imagination ran away with me for a minute imagining him a tough gun trotting sheriff, feeling for such young ones as billy, who could end up shot or jailed, rather than what cord had threatened. Of course it part of the blame is the parenting.. Good description and portrayal of the charcyer there i hated him and actually felt sorry for the poor ignorant kid.
| gaben chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
It was good to read more details in this chapter, your writing skills have developed. The dialogue and actions of characters is more detailed and explain their reactions. I liked the developing banter between joesph and Ethan. I was beginning to understand how joesph was feeling, always getting it wrong r onto trouble
E... Lol though he did let his mouth run away with him, which is very mich his canon persona, good job.
| TRUMAN'S SHELL chapter 4 . 6/2/2012
Poor Joseph, he just isn't making the right decisions. I agree with Ethan that Joseph cheated himself but not believing that he could do it. Plus trying to get out of the whipping, just ended up with him getting more punishment, never wise when you know you’re getting the whipping anyway.
| TRUMAN'S SHELL chapter 3 . 6/1/2012
I like Mitch :)Ben is following in his brother's not so good shoes right now. All I can say is isn't a wise decision
| TRUMAN'S SHELL chapter 2 . 6/1/2012
I hope Joseph gets that 80% Poor little George :( He deserved the spanking for lying, but I think the past might have had something to do with it.
| TRUMAN'S SHELL chapter 1 . 6/1/2012
I agree with Ethan, some people are just not cut out to be parents.
Poor Joseph and his mouth, sometimes it's just hard to keep it in and his butt had to pay :)