|Reviews for His Angel|
| capo327 chapter 31 . 6h
The ending really confused me. Hope we get another update soon though. This is the best ongoing H/F story. Actually it might be the only ongoing H/F story now that is updated (semi)regularly.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 31 . 9h
Well that was definitely an interesting chapter. The whole Death/Fate thing... feels like it's deliberately being written to be angsty. They are both being cryptic without giving any reason stating *why* they are being forced to be cryptic. And this, for me, is somewhat annoying. I don't mind tension being added to a story but I think there should be a reason given.
Anyway, on a whole I really do like this story. Can't wait to see what happens next.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 30 . 10h
As much as I can't stand destiny anymore (quit a few months ago, a few weeks after the expansion came out...frankly, I quit because of the expansion), I think you are right, the actual potential of the world seems awesome. Not sure how you would go about making a crossover with it, but if could be great. I'd recommend taking some aspects from the destiny universe and bring them into the HP world rather than transport Harry to the destiny universe, think that would definitely be easier to do as well as have more structure, but that of course is up to you.
Not a fan of the new assassins creed games; I actually liked Desmond and thought the overall plot was ruined after he died.
And as great as skyrim is , sending Harry on multiple quests to become the dragonborn might sound interesting but I have my doubts. Unless you just wanted to put him there to do his own thing, that could be cool.
| Fullmetal11791 chapter 28 . 12h
First time I read this the last available chapter was chapter... Twenty three or four, I think, right as Fleur showed up to Hogwarts with Remus to escort Harry out of the country. Put the story on the back burner until it got a few more updates. Glad you've started writing chapters for this again, it's definitely an awesome story.
That being said, I am starting to dislike these time skips you've recently started adding. From the beginning of the story the plot had been very linear with minor time skips to advance the plot from a day to day basis, sometimes hopping a month of so between tri wizard tournament tasks. It was easy to follow along and it felt natural. These last few chapters have been hard to follow along with. Things happen that we aren't told about until a chapter or two later when it's referenced that such and such happened during a time skip. Not going to begrudge you changing up the pacing of the story but it's definitely getting harder to follow.
| Residentsadist chapter 31 . 4/12
What can I say? It's been a while since I've read this story. And yet, even after the 5th time rereading this, it's still amazing. At first, I didn't really enjoy or believe in Harry/Fleur, but this story, this story has made me change my mind on that front. Well done, kudos to you.
| serasgiovanni chapter 30 . 4/11
one hapne please
| Silverclan chapter 31 . 4/11
still love the the story. hate that i have to wait but your story is well worth the wait. keep up the great work. will always be a fan. I've read this story a lot and my love for it only grows.
| OpenSourceArtist chapter 5 . 4/10
I don't know if you're doing this on purpose, but all these "attacks" on Fleur undermines the fact that she is a Champion for her school and as indicated by you already the top of her class. Add in that Harry plays the hero to save the damsel in distress just takes me out of the story. Does Fleur suddenly forget that she has a wand to defend herself with when boys get too grabby?
| Chromewe11 chapter 31 . 4/9
finally got through all these chapters! love the story, your writing has improved as you went on, not that it was ever bad but much less grammatical errors and those bastard typos we can all miss. i remember i starting reading when you first published this in 2012 then i went away from the hp fandom and ff for a while. but this was one of the fleur/harry stories that helped me get back into my own, so thanks! cant wait for more updates - Chrome
| V-rcingetorix chapter 31 . 4/6
*whew* took me almost a full week to get through 31 chapters. The chapter length is pretty decent, and you've kept it up well.
On Hermione ... yeah. A little disappointed in how you've made her inflexible while changing Harry, but it's not much of a problem. Never saw her as being with Ron though ... Maybe Milicent Bulstrode with him, but never Hermione. And yes, I'm aware M.B. has a reputation for ugliness of spirit and body.
You still have a little problem with the pronoun placement. Signal tags, modifiers, however you want to call it. Your english is better than roughly half the american-born english speakers I've tutored, so don't be discouraged about that.
Getting a little over-complicated ... well, that's true only if you fail. Look at the Lost television series; that show added plot twists almost every other week, and finally ended up with an enormous mess that nobody could watch. Same thing happened for the ending to Mass Effect ... one of my favorite games, except for the final 15 minutes. That's why there's so much fanfic ... and a few hundred vanilla cupcakes with different-colored icings sent to Casey "Artistic Integrity" Hudson.
If you could add an OC Death Eater named Casey Hudson, could you please put him through the wringer? Maybe make him an effeminate art collector? That would fit the bill ...
Anyway, back on target. Good work. Keep it up. :)
| V-rcingetorix chapter 24 . 4/5
"Life can crash into you ..." heh. Your humor makes me want to write again. Thank you.
And gratz on the Poor Harry. Most stories have him inheriting vaults from all four Founders, Merlin, Morgana and Pope Benedict I.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 22 . 4/5
Helpful DD? A novel thought ...
Quidditch description was good. I think Malfoy could be accused of 'blagging,' but soccer terms are pretty much interchangeable here. Blame the Brits.
| V-rcingetorix chapter 21 . 4/5
One minor issue that's taken me a while to figure out is your identifier tags.
As an example: "Arry?" He looked around to find Apolline had just entered the room. "You 'ave to stop worrying us like zis."
The problem I'm seeing here is how the first word appears to be spoken by Harry, but then whips over to Apolline. Your tendency to use this is limited to the shorter sentences, which is why it took me a while to pick up on it; I knew I was missing *something*, but wasn't sure what.
Anyway, the fix is to limit the POV indicators to the thoughts/words being said by that person. When a sentence is written, the reaction is by the person saying it; if the reaction is by the listener, that reaction is given another line.
For some examples, I'd suggest Jules Verne, either his Around the World in 80 Days, or maybe Journey to the Center of the Earth. Verne (Father of Science Fiction) had a knack for keeping science rolling through his stories, while maintaining a clear picture of whom was saying what.
Not saying what you have is bad, far from it. My opinion is that it needs a little work here and there.
Keep up the good work!
| V-rcingetorix chapter 20 . 4/5
I honestly couldn't tell you disliked writing this chapter until you said it in the notes. Really good writing.
Having a good Weasley-bashing story isn't bad either. I'm personally ambivalent towards Ron, but I can appreciate a good bashing, so long as it's done well. Having Ron eager to take over Harry's Gringotts accounts, as soon as Nasty-dore gets Stalker-Weasley with Harry ... frankly that's unimaginative, and I've only seen one or two fics that do that well. Dozens, if not hundreds of bad ones.
Having Ron shift towards channeling Percy makes the concept work. Power for the sake of Power, almost.
One suggestion, how about more smells? The train seemed odorless, wouldn't it have the scent of coal, or steam? Hot metal? The odor of cushions and the gum someone left under the seat a few months prior? Eh, just a suggestion. Not a deal breaker.
Keep up the good work!
| V-rcingetorix chapter 13 . 4/5
Ok, no furry Harry. Good :)
Also, kinda bad. I was somewhat interested in seeing how you did a were-Harry. Oh well. Out of idle curiosity, would this mean Harry has to adjust his potions, since he's got different physiological traits now?
Disbelief about Voldemort, sure? Why not? In this, it sounds almost as if there will be more students that believe him ... but that's too easy a plot device, no?
Keep up the good work!