Why don’t you ever write „Sirius and Remuswhy do you call Sirius by his first name but its always „Lupin“?
Sirius and Lupin doesn’t make any sense at all.
Also a tip for your dialogues: Don’t write the reaction of someone right after something was said. Example:

„Why did you enter your name?“ Harry frowned.
„I didn’t enter my name.“

Would be better if you wrote

„Why did you enter your name, Harry?“, Dumbledore asked calmly.
„I didn’t enter my name.“ Harry frowned.

Not that you‘ve written this exact dialogue, but it appears quite often. Besides that i really like the story and your instinct of what to write about and what ro leave out. Thanks for this piece of work, i‘ll be back reading now.
(Also don‘t correct my on spelling or grammar please, im German so my English isn‘t great!)

It really is tyrant running across the stupid cliche especially in any story where Harry gets with flare or Harry decided to take his studies more seriously 9 times out of 10 it involves some stupid cliche c*** about Harry and in his friendship with Ron and Hermione. With Ron it makes sense because I mean it's wrong he's a slacker who Harry has to hold himself back in order to make comfortable so they don't have an argument because of his jealousy and inferiority complex. But I can never understand why you all go out of your way to pull this stupid nonsense out your a** in order to end Harry and Hermione's friendship? In the books Hermione is constantly trying to get Harry and Ron to take their studies more seriously. And yet here you are writing a story where Harry finally takes that advice and apparently Hermione gets jealous because he's doing better than her? In the fifth book in the order of the Phoenix, Hermione had no problems whatsoever admitted to Harry that he is more talented than her more powerful than her more skilled than her. While Hermia is very intelligent she was never the best I'd ever in the books and she seemed to have absolutely no problem accepting that fact she did the best she could in all of her classes and accept her grades and she accepted when other students did better then her but now when it's her best friend that is doing better than her she's jealous and wants to ruin their friendship? The fact that as a writer you have to go out of your way to write some nonsense that makes no logical sense, You would think that would be an indicator to you that you should probably not write that nonsense in the first place, but I guess not.

All these bs, all thse changes just to end up going the canon route anyway. I am disappointed

Hello,

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to this day this fanfic will always be one of the greatest to ever exist3

great story, and I'm sad to hear that it will go unfinished. Though by the sound of it, it wasn't going to be a happy one.

Haha how was it you ask. Well it made me cry and that does not happen often. Best praise I can give you

To me, anytime molly gets pulled down a peg is great. Her attitude is partly responsible for how Ron turned out.

I can't stand Ron. Just as bigoted as Draco with a huge inferiority complex and jealousy. Hated in canon when he and Hermione got together. Always smacked of the writer taking the easy way.

chapter was so silly. so much pointless moralization and value signaling. and harry backsliding fully into the simpering putz position. 'I must leave you for your own good!' lol, smh. the fact that you have written out any reasonable character growth for harry is glaring. to still be so ignorant of the other people around to behave thus is just bad writing. i enjoyed the opening of your story, you managed to maintain good pacing throughout. unfortunately youve held on to the harry is a naive moody angsty moron too long, for my taste at least. given everything that has happened to him in your narrative it is unbelievable, to me, that he would display so little growth. alas. when the suspension of disbelief is broken the story crumbles pretty quick.

ugh, chapter 12 was pretty important. like climax to arc 1 important. but Harry was so bleh through the first half. was odd, like any character growth ypu had given him just evaporated. makes it very hard to ontinue this here.

ugh, the boggart was a fun twist but that was a dumb scene, imo. again, i get the emotional upheaval but what was all the training and occlumency for if harry doesnt even use it in crisis situations?

lol come on mate, 'his wand slipped from his hand' in this highly perilous situation. i get the emotional upheaval but what was all the training for. where is the CONSTANT VIGILANCE?

BRO the moody broody self pity party is not cool! ugh, i like most your story but Harry's got to grow a bit. give that character progression arc. lol, less 'blubber blubber im a dummy, leave me', so one dimesional.

ohhh the self pity