|Reviews for Surviving Hearts|
| dontstopbelieving123 chapter 1 . 8/13/2014
Hello just wanted to let you know I had a lotta fun reading this story and can't wait to c what's next I just started the show and I'm now on season three and there r just so many feels also ps you seem like a cool person so dm me if you ever wanna chat have a magical day
| Katarzyna88gb chapter 29 . 5/19/2014
Just found your story, so good :) hope U will update soon
| SeverusSnape'sLove chapter 29 . 4/12/2014
Awesome story. Please update soon.
| SheepDog chapter 1 . 12/29/2013
Where do I even begin with this “story”? First of all, the spelling, grammar, and punctuation is terrible. You don't close quotations or capitalize first letters in sentences, you forget to add punctuation at the end of sentences, you misspell words (which makes the sentence make even less sense) and sometimes use the complete opposite term (getting “husband” and “wife” mixed up). This is not just a “here and there” problem, either, it's constantly being repeated with no sign of improvement. You either need to revise your own story, or find someone to do that for you. That or get a better translator.
Second, your main character, really? A redhead in the Grimes family when both parents have black hair? I don't think so. Why even make her a part of that family, anyway? Why should she not be her own character, not bound to the cast like that? On top of that, she's completely unlikable, gets away with everything she does (physically assaulting Shane, verbally assaulting her “parents” which would have landed her with a black eye, at least) with no repercussions, and seems very detached from the fact that the dead have risen and are walking around. Example: She sneaks out of camp, at night, alone, because she thinks she needs a bath. The way she talks is also out of place. You use British-isms like “mum” and “piss off” when she's supposed to be from Georgia. Plus, any scene she's in is either devoid of tension or completely boring and mostly pointless. Her presence in the story is as artificial as a peg leg, she's more of a prop. The dialogue she engages in reads like it's being spoken by a robotic monotone, not actual characters.
Third, the other characters, or rather whoever is supposed to pass as the other characters. No one acts like their in-show versions. Daryl is the worst example of the whole cast. He's gone from being a zombie-slaying badass to some love-struck teenage boy. Daryl's way too open, plus he has no real reason to be displaying any of these “emotions” towards the main character. There was a reason he was like that in the show, it was his whole character, and here it's just thrown under the bus!
If that hasn't got my point across, let me put this in as simple terms as I can: This story is bad.
Everything about it is bad. How there are readers that can actually “like” this is beyond me. It's a TWD story where we never see anything remotely interesting happen, the characters are as interesting as muddy water, and the story is structured like a 5-year-old wrote it. That's my review, in all its brutally honest glory. I won't tell you to like it or anything, but maybe you need to listen to criticism from reviewers? Maybe then your work could improve. If all you listen to are these “sheep”, who praise anything put in front of them, how is writing going to get better as a whole?
Do I expect you to respond to this review? No. I do not, because you have demonstrated on many occasions that you have a hard enough time putting together a coherent sentence, let alone a thought-out response. Yes, I'm brutally honest, but you need to know what your weaknesses are. Whether or not you do anything about them, is up to you.
| JanyMarie chapter 27 . 12/14/2013
Every time Daryl says "little lady" I picture him in a cowboy get up tipping his hat to her.
| So chapter 1 . 10/29/2013
This story seems really good, but you should really go back and edit things. You're missing a lot of punctuation marks and some things that should be in in caps aren't.
But your story does seem good so far, so this is certainly not a flame. :)
| Hey chapter 1 . 8/26/2013
First of all, this story needs serious revision, I recommend you find a beta because the grammar is need of some work and it's hard to read the story with these errors. Second of all, you cannot just take away important things in canon, like Lori and Shane's relationship, they're VITAL to the plot, throwing those out, you throw out lots of important character development. Third of all, changing Daryl's age just so that your character can get with him seems unneeded, why couldn't you just make an OC HIS age? The Grimes don't need another kid anyway, it was hard enough to take care of Carl on their own. Neither of them possess red hair anyway, so how your character was able to develop red hair is odd, and no one has time to dye their hair during a zombie apocalypse, by the way.
FOURTH of all, the characters are VERY out of character. They act like nothing they do on the show, and that's bad, because their characters are dire to the show, it's what makes the show! To throw all that out, is throwing out everything important to the plot. The Dixons are violent rednecks that didn't trust ANYONE, Daryl wouldn't easily warm up to your character, much less 'fall in love' with her unless giving the proper time. By the way, this show is set in America, in the state of Georgia. Almost everyone there has 'southern'-ish accents, they don't use Britishisms like 'mum' and 'piss off', Carl clearly says "mom" in the show quite a few times, so I don't understand how you missed this.
And I will lastly leave off that your character reacts incredibly unrealistic in a dire situation such as a ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. Her father is in a coma, her whole life is crashing down, she wouldn't be so mentally and emotionally unstable, Lori wasn't, and that's why she went to Shane. That's why Carl is growing up to be a sociopath just like in the comics. It messes with you, and I can see that you tried, but honestly, it didn't seem very convincing.
That is the end of my review, sorry if I sound 'mean', but I AM blunt, and to be blunt, you need a beta, not just to review the entire overall text, but the plot and characters as well as your character.
| Guest chapter 3 . 8/17/2013
Finally! Someone shows how Lori is if she hadn't accepted Shane's advances and then when Rick came back call Shane the devil maybe he wouldn't be crazy I blame her
| swaaag chapter 5 . 7/31/2013
Why does he keep calling her little lady? It's creeping me out...
| RORO1024C chapter 29 . 3/7/2013
please update soon just getting interesting
| lisa epperly chapter 2 . 2/11/2013
You're awesome girl! keep it up )
| Guest chapter 17 . 11/23/2012
While I did enjoy the plot and storyline I have a few constructive comments I would like to offer. First, ALL CAPSLOCK MAKES ME WANt to stab my eyes out, it does not add drama or effect to the dialogue. Secondly, the characters re-actions to each other are a bit too dramatic. Otherwise, it was amazing reading.
| psychovampgurl chapter 29 . 11/20/2012
Every chapter was amazing
| xxRAINBOWunicornsXX chapter 29 . 10/27/2012
I have spent all day reading this story and it is defiantley my most favorite walking dead story! I am so happy that you continued it and I am about to start reading it! Thanks for writing this awesome story!
| Madzilla1075 chapter 29 . 10/27/2012
I finally got to finish reading the story, and let me tell you I love it! The ending was surprising and left a cliffhanger. :( Daryl needs to know shes alive! lol Anyway, great job!