Reviews for KakuHida: Free
Lover of Yaoi chapter 55 . 7/4
I only found this story this year and weh, I want mawr

This was a nice journey... The ending was sweet.

It'd be so cool to have an epilogue, just to see how everything turns out in the end... or a little ficlet to show how everything turned out once everyone's an adult. Would some of them have adopted kids? Would they all get married to one another? ...Would any of them die and cast the group into a new level of despair? I HAVE TO KNOW

Poor Itachi. And Hidan. And Sasori. And Osamu. And Pein. And literally everyone except the baddies.

Fak.

I can't wait to see if you write more... please do. You made me attached to these characters.

It'd be sick if you wrote another Naruto story involving the Akatsuki, even if a different version... It'd be even cooler if you one day wrote and published your very own book.

I'm writing my own book based around demons... Probably won't have it published but it'll be nice to know it's there and I wrote it.

I... honestly loved this story. I'm really glad you wrote it, and I found it. I didn't expect that thing with Orochimaru or Osamu... Thanks, really.
PryoTomatoes chapter 55 . 6/24
Thank you! This was an amazing read!
Lover of Yaoi chapter 54 . 6/18
Interesting, if you want my honest opinion. I never really expected the truth about Hidan's father, or that the calls were fake... I assumed it was the mayor calling him so the two of them could fuck or something.

Poor Orochimaru. I feel this version of him didn't deserve to be put through that. He really seemed rather kind in the singular chapter we had of him. I'd love it if you included, like, sacrifices in order to bring Orochimaru, Kimimaru, and Shisui back in the final chapter, and it were to work. But, tbh, it'd feel somewhat anti-climatic if that were to happen.

What would the Akatsuki think of that revelation? Two people they believed to be sewer rats are actually good people. I feel it'd help Itachi out a bit, or it might just make him a thousand times worse, or he might start questioning if everything had a bigger reason behind it. One of the three. And Pein? Knowing that the demon that killed his family killed many other people and screwed his life up more? And what of the mayor and the rest of that town?

I think you wrote some of the basic story from some parts of Naruto into here, albeit intentionally or accidental. Orochimaru killing Kimimaru and Shisui reflects the Uchiha Clan Massacre, with having to kill people whom the murderer really cared for, and lying about it. And then Osamu and Hidan's breakdown. Hidan comes to realize that the real Osamu wasn't a bad person, and cries at it. Sasuke's breakdown when he realized Itachi was a good person.

Speaking of Sasuke, will we ever see Sasuke? He only had a mention or two this whole story, and I'd love to see him come back, or finding that he was also jailed, and then having him return to Itachi and then a really heartfelt moment... that'd be cute.

I normally would've seen Hidan's breakdown over Osamu to be unrealistic and exaggerated, but, I can understand if he finds himself feeling as if he lost the dad he had when he was seven and not the dad who hurt him. The dad he had loved. Which I can see as pretty heartbreaking, so I'll give it a pass.

I'm actually quite satisfied with the general story. I have hope that you write another fanfiction/book, digging into the past of the Akatsuki and some other characters.
azraelonikidd chapter 54 . 6/15
Still a fucking MAGICAL book! When you're done with this one you should write another cause you're an AMAZING writer!
azraelonikidd chapter 52 . 6/10
Pleasepleaseplease hurry and upload the next chapter I AM BEGGING YOU IM GONNA DIE IF I DONT READ IT! BEST STORY EVER!
Guest chapter 51 . 5/4
Update... Please... I'm gonna die best book ever by the way
Kris Senju chapter 51 . 4/23
WTF. this so good I really enjoyed I'm going on your ao3 account to read more.
Lover of Yaoi chapter 51 . 4/7
Warning: Spelling and grammar mistakes are deliberate.

Ahhhhhhhhh, sorry for my rant-like review a couple of days ago. Dis review gonna be happier, since I feelz a little happier than when Iz made the other review.

When are you gonna update? I've been checking back every dayyyyyyyyy since March 27. I WANNA KNOW 'BOUT HIDAN'S FATHER AND THAT GODDAMN PUNISHMENT.

Dammit. -~-

I like dis story cuz I'm a massive SasoDei and KakuHida shipper. SasoDei is muh fav ship. (My feelings about ZetTobi are kinda mixed, I ship YahiKonan more than PeinKona and NagaIta more than other Itachi and/or Nagato ships. I can't forget the humor, drama, looooooove, and HAHAHAHAH VIOLENCE OH YIS-

Still a gud storeh... huehuehue...

One of the things that could make this storeh better is Sasuke...

I'm still waiting for someone to start a fucking riot and kill Osamu and his asstrash lover that motherfacking mayor. :( Both of them better die soon.

YEAH! S&M WAS INCLUDED IN THIS CHAPTER! WOOOOOOOOAH! :OO

Reminds me of that one scene where Deidara shouted, "I'M NOT INTO S&M!"

Bah! We need more SasoDei. -~- Just me, though.. (I think).

.~.

Seriously, though; when you gonna update? I've been waiting for a dozen eternities for that damn 52nd chapter.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa-

Update soon, please-

And more yaoi- Yaoi is love-

Peace?

P.S. Please dun end on Chapter 55. OnO Make it looooonger. Or, make something like a prequel, about the rest of the Akatsuki ("Akatsuki: Free: A Prequel To KakuHida: Free" where it alternates views between all the different members or something, LOL). That'd clear up many things (and give me more updates to look forward to).

P.S.S. I think I might print the story just so I can read it in math class when I'm too bored to listen to the teacher. XD

P.S.S.S. Please don't kill me with the wait. .;

P.S.S.S.S. Alsopleasedon'tthinkIhatethisstoryIdon'tIloveitbutIalwayshavesomecriticismpleaseupdatesoonthisiscuteBYE
Lover of Yaoi chapter 51 . 4/2
All right, I would've made this on Chapter 26 or something, but after thinking it through, I decided to put it on the latest chapter as of yet. Just to tell you, this review is in no way meant to insult you. I just couldn't stop thinking about this ever since I read up to Chapter 31, but it rose to me in Chapter 26.

Please don't take offense to think review. I just wished to point this out. I feel this review to be quite opinion-ish.

Ahem.

Are we supposed to view the rape as worst than what happened to Sasori? If so, I, personally, think what happened to Sasori was worse. Hidan, yes, did have his virginity taken from him, and it may have left a lasting affect on his mind, but Sasori was given a permanent, physical injury when he was younger. If he was held back the same year as Pein and the others, then he was much younger than when Hidan got fucked by his dad. Not to mention Sasori nearly DIED and was held back because of what his father did to him. That, to me, is worse than getting raped, even by your dad. Sasori's lasted shorter, but he definitely got it pretty rough, maybe the worst physical injuries out of the whole Akatsuki. In addition, Sasori said his beatings got worse after his father blamed the death of his mom on Sasori. That means that Sasori was getting hurt even more, and if the beatings were bad before that, they only got worse. Who knows what types of hurt little Sasori went through.

We can't forget that Sasori met the rest of the Akatsuki AFTER his incident with his dad, according to what Pein said. Unlike Hidan, Sasori didn't have the comfort of the Akatsuki while his dad was hurting him. As far as we know, he only had Deidara while he had his father.

And Sasori must've known Shisui and Kimimaru to a degree (Kimimaru more than Shisui, according to a bit of Deidara's dialogue in Chapter 21). Losing them must've been pretty harsh on him as well as the rest of the Akatsuki. No Akatsuki member Hidan has met has died yet. And even if Hidan and Kakuzu heard the story, they never knew Shisui or Kimimaru the way Sasori must have.

Same thing with Tobi. He also got a permanent physical injury: his eye. He also got a permanent mental injury: the loss of Madara. Tobi and Madara seemed to have had a strong bond, and to have lost Madara must've left Tobi in pieces for a long time. Losing Madara, to Tobi, must've been like Hidan loosing Kakuzu for good. Added with the fact that his father lived and kept abusing poor Tobi. And he also lost Shisui and Kimimaru. And, when did Madara die, exactly? Before or after Tobi met the Akatsuki? If before, than it's pretty harsh on Tobi as he didn't have people to comfort him. He might've just had Zetsu. And we don't even know when he met Zetsu, if it was pre-Madara death or post-Madara death!

Out of Hidan, Sasori, and Tobi, Hidan is getting the lightest treatment from an abusive parent. Heck, we don't even know what punishments Sasori and Tobi were even given. Some of them could've been worse than what Hidan got.

We can't leave out the fact that Hidan has begun to enjoy pain, whereas, as far as we know, Sasori and Tobi were never masochists and took the pain as pain instead of pleasure.

Hell, I think Itachi has it worse than Hidan. We don't know what happened to Itachi, but we know Sasuke got tricked into Orochimaru's side. If Itachi is anything like his anime counterpart, than Sasuke meant the world to him. Shisui, too. Itachi must've been close to Shisui, as Shisui was Itachi's best friend, as stated in the flashback in Chapter 21. We can't forget about Kimimaru, now can we? And what about Itachi's parents? What happened to them? Did HE have an abusive parent, or abusive parents! - too? Obito, too. Did Itachi know Obito? Was loosing Obito a hit on Itachi? And same thing! Did Itachi even have friends? When did he meet the Akatsuki? What happened to his family? What about Kisame? When did things turn a little better for Itachi? There are so many unanswered questions about Itachi.

And this line right here.

"Don't even think about it Hidan" Kakuzu said and Hidan nodded and everyone decided to stay away from that topic as they knew if he said something was worse than his own father raping him, it was worse than hell itself".

This one line implies that something worse than being raped by your father is worse than hell. In that case, Sasori and Tobi, and maybe Itachi, too, have traveled through hell and back.

We're supposed to give so much sympathy to Hidan, that I feel like we're supposed to forget everything else that's happened to some of the other members. Mental pain is the worst type of pain.

And being ignored by a whole school? I can understand how that's pretty bad, coupled with an abusive dad. But if we look at the other members, they're USED to being hated. We don't know if they're used to being hated all the time from the time they first joined school or after joining the Akatsuki.

Kakuzu was a bully for a while, and Hidan should've lost interest long before the beginning of the story, which would've lessened the pain for him.

I'm not saying this story is absolutely terrible or anything of that sort. I'm just saying that I feel like from whatever point of view we're given, too much sympathy is handed to Hidan and not to other members who deserve it more than Hidan does. Using what we know already, we can deduce that Sasori and Tobi, at LEAST, have it worse with lasting mental and physical injuries. Hidan has gotten so much better since the beginning of the story, while we have so little idea about the rest of the Akatsuki that it's quite painful not seeing more of them. Sasori, Tobi, and Itachi, in my opinion, should have nearly thrice as much sympathy as they have. Pein should deserve more too. He lost his frickin siblings! He must've loved them if he cried when talking about them and if he never told anyone before that time. He deserves a large sympathy vote.

I'll use this review to address a couple of other things. In "Pein's Blowup", Pein shouted at Sasori that Sasori didn't know what it was like to loose a family member. If Deidara told Pein what Sasori told the others, then Pein should know that Sasori lost his mother at the age of seven or eight. If he didn't know that, then Sasori should've pointed it out when Pein yelled at him.

Also, Kakuzu bailing on Bryce's funeral? Fucking Kakuzu! That funeral could've been as short as twenty minutes. If they were halfway through it, he could've waited. In fact, he shouldn't have even had his phone with him, or have "subconsciously" turned up its volume. Like, what the heck? That scene made me so mad at Kakuzu. He should've just waited. His cousin's funeral should've been more important than picking up his boyfriend from jail. Kakuzu could have and SHOULD have waited to finish his cousin's funeral. If Hidan were my boyfriend and I was at my cousin's funeral, I would've stayed and finished the funeral and apologize later.

Other than a couple of other things, that's about it. I like the overall theme of the story, though the pacing could be a bit slower. I hope the Akatsuki gang up on Osamu, chain him, and fucking torture him to death, cover it up and dispose of the body, then go report shit about the mayor to the president or leader or someone that is higher than the fucking mayor. I don't know why, but I sort of want Sasori's father to break out of jail, find Sasori, kidnap the little redhead, nearly kill/torture the baby, then throw him through the window in the middle of the night after Sasori is presumed missing for a couple of days while Sasori is in a terribly weak state. Dunno why, but I love tormenting the characters I love the most. I also want to see the major punishment Osamu has planned and how Osamu managed to make Jashin flinch. The S&M was just adding to the suspense of the punishment. What could be so bad that Osamu prepared Hidan a practical feast and acted calm the whole week? I'm super curious and you're torturing us by not updating faster.

Regardless of the whole sympathy thing and a couple of other things, I enjoy the story. I find it to be quite interesting opposed to other things I've read, and it reaches one of the best stories I've read with Naruto characters placed in the real world, though the whole "demons" thing is a interesting, supernatural addition to the real world.

I order you to add another update soon. I'm dying to see it.

(I love how you've been teasing Pein in some of the previous chapters about being homo. I loved reading about the teasing.)

That's about as much as I can think of right now. I might leave another review on a later chapter, or at a later time, but for now, that is all. Keep writing, please, and update soon!
Ern Estine 13624 chapter 50 . 3/26
Getting super good can't wait for more
Worst Writer chapter 49 . 3/18
Ignore the name, please.

It's nice seeing how much Hidan's changed since the beginning of the story till now. He's really grown up and even became a little more of his anime counterpart, with the whole masochist thing. Can I offer a bit of criticism, though? Don't get me wrong, I love this story, but there's a couple of errors that bug me as both a writer and a grammar nazi. It's the grammar and punctuation. Quite frequently, to be honest, there's a lack of punctuation at the end of dialogue and paragraphs. Take the last sentence of this chapter, for example.
/"Maybe Kakuzu's right. I am a masochist" Hidan said gripping the necklace and smirked, "With a big mouth"\
Where's the punctuation at the end of the two bits of dialogue? Before the T in "masochist" and the quotation mark, you can put either a comma or a period, depending on if it continues into the next bit of dialogue. Also, after "said", you can put a comma. There shouldn't be a comma at the end of "smirked" unless Hidan's finishing the "I am a masochist" thing, in which case, the W shouldn't be capitalized. And if he IS finishing the "I am a masochist" bit of dialogue, put a comma at the end of "masochist" before the quotation mark. And, at the end of "with a big mouth", put a period at the end of "mouth".
Hope this helped. And if not ... oh noes! (Lel-)
I have more criticism, but it'd make this Review too long. .

Still, great story! Can't wait until Chapter 50 comes out!
O.O
Wow. Chapter 50? This story's grown quite a bit.
Then again, this was made in 2012, so I should expect quite a couple of chapters.
Love the pairings! (Except KisaIta ... Dunno, I'm just not a fan of Kisame or his ships. .)
Also, I have a question. Why is Nagato the Deva Path Pein? We know that the Deva Path is Yahiko, so why is Nagato the Deva Path? I was hoping you'd address this earlier, but I guess it didn't cross your mind, or it's intended to be this way. If it's intended to be this way ... oh. (XD)
I think I earn the award for longest review on this story ... huehuehue. (Maybe not, dho-)
I need to see more of this before my head explodes. . (I use this face a lot. :/)
Keep writing! :D I'll check back in, like, a week or so. I think. Maybe a couple of days from now. I'll see in a while, 'k? XD
Bye!
-Worst Writer ;~;
Ern Estine 13624 chapter 49 . 3/18
Getting awesome good can't wait for more
PryoTomatoes chapter 49 . 3/17
Wooooooo Lovley update!Great job
Sir.Renais chapter 47 . 11/25/2016
Too lazy to login haha. Pretty good, and I'm excited for more in the future.
Ern Estine 13624 chapter 47 . 11/25/2016
Poor Hidan I hope his frisave him can't wait for more
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