Reviews for Gender Confusion: The Trilogy
Visitor chapter 1 . 7/7/2018
I had heard of your South Park fanfics in the fall of 2016 and many people had praised them, when i've finally read them in 2017,i saw that they aren't that great, let's start for Charlie, she is a overused cliche to a OC that many fanfic writers had used, the only new thing about her is that she looks like a boy,plus,she doesn't have too much of a personhality and flaws and is kind of a Mary Sue, also, the stories are mostly boring, you tries hard to be faithful to South Park as possible, but you fail miserably, also, some characters act out of character, Stan and Kyle are derailed in complete assholes to make Charlie looks better in comparation(sure, they have mean moments in the actual show but they still good kids) and Wendy is a useless bitch just like in every fanfic from South Park, i think people need to stop of praise any shitty fanfic that appears, i'm not being rude or anything but i just trying to be honest.
Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2018
I'm going to be h
sp chapter 9 . 9/28/2015
SHUT UP OR MR HAT IS GOING TO LOSE IT!
.THERE
Aoon something chapter 1 . 7/23/2014
Read this late last night and I have to say that this reads like an actual episode. Good job.
JVM-SP150 chapter 9 . 7/30/2012
Aand just when I thought it was getting good, the last chapter nosedives into some bad territory, but maybe I'm biased because a certain threshold was crossed.

The overall story is pretty tough to judge, because it's all over the place with no real one thing tying it down besides Charlie, who is the center of attention, but I'll get to that later. A lot of the small ideas in here would work fine on their own, but the mish-mosh makes it hard to say. There's just a lot of potential that isn't spun off into itself much in favor of following Charlie.

As for Charlie... argh. There is so much to say really. She's at the center here, and that's a bad thing for any original character, because all it does is highlight the best and worst of them, and Charlie's no exception. She's a good character with some great potential, but she's bogged down by the abuse backstory.
There's not much to explain why everyone is so interested in her initially until after the abuse comes out, but the abuse creates only sympathy for her. Charlie's actual flaws aren't really explored much, creating a big offset.

Worse for Charlie, we have a ton of reasons to feel sorry for her but not many reasons to even consider disliking her. Plot-wise she does absolutely nothing wrong in here, and that's a pretty big issue. It sends the wrong message, and I don't think anyone pre-disposed to dislike Charlie will end up thinking the opposite. The core thing is that Charlie needs to have some more personality traits, both positive and negative, and this fic only seems to focus on her backstory and relationships.

Now, however, I do have to keep a lot of things in mind - this is part one of a multi-fic series. It's also an OC *introduction* so she can be sprinkled more lightly into later fics. That's what I used to do with my own OC's before I ditched practice (excluding one-offs) three years ago. So despite all my bitchings, Charlie has the potential to be a great OC in other work - but this isn't the shining example for her, at least in my opinion.

Sorry, I probably sound like a huge friggin' dick and shouldn't even send this (especially at 6AM) but God knows it's probably better to say something constructive than to just write 'I read it and refuse to elaborate my feelings bai' or something half-assed like that.

Just keep in mind, I'm NOT necessarily saying the story sucked, or the OC was a Sue, or anything of that sort, I'm only trying to provide **constructive** critique.
JVM-SP150 chapter 8 . 7/30/2012
She forgot her medicine? Oh boy...

Butters is amusing here, and Stan and Randy fit with newer episodes more now. You're evolving as you write this, at least.

It's funny, even in gen fandom, everyone does Tweek and Craig as buds and they've never done anything together outside the fight. (They stand next to each other but never interact.) I'm totally guilty of this, not singling you out, just making an observation.
JVM-SP150 chapter 7 . 7/30/2012
Now this chapter was nice, good court "drama", got to hear from a few more characters (Gerald, Jimbo, etc.) and we got the full story of Charlie's background. Mrs. McCormick was the highlight, the accent was well-done. And hey, Stan has a backbone, good.
JVM-SP150 chapter 6 . 7/30/2012
Again, we're getting some plot, and it's interesting, although Bonnie Hunt is a hella random target. Sheila and Cartman are still very amusing in here, and Kyle got a nice moment to shine, I forget his computer skills. Ending was good.
JVM-SP150 chapter 5 . 7/30/2012
Now we're getting some real plot in here. Cartman is amusing, but I actually enjoyed Mindy and Tom the Doctors more than anything else so far in this fic. Although with all the Broflovski stuff I can't help but wonder where Gerald is.
JVM-SP150 chapter 4 . 7/30/2012
Hell's Pass Hospital.

Again, it's all Charlie, and I'm not judging yet. So just moving right on along.
JVM-SP150 chapter 3 . 7/30/2012
The eventual Kyle/Charlie is so obvious, but it's a nice change of pace still to have the mother the abuser, not the stereotypical father. Still not much to comment on, since Charlie's the center-of-attention and I'm trying to hold off judgement.

Becca's last line is so far the funniest thing in this entire fic.
JVM-SP150 chapter 2 . 7/30/2012
Not much to comment on this chapter. Charlie's abused, that's clear as day, but again - waiting until the end to actually comment on the character there. But that's the bulk of the chapter so...

The J-word thing was kind of funny but I'm pretty sure 'Jesus' has been said in front of the Broflovskis before.
JVM-SP150 chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
I figured I should finally give a read to Charlie's actual first story. This is script, so I hope you're keeping a copy, because FFnet loves to delete script fic when they find out about it.

There's not really any plot besides Charlie's intro, so I can't really comment on much but the character, as unfair as that feels at this point. I'll try to hold back on that until after I get through the story, if I do.

I guess you got the early episode vibe down pretty well. If this was say, Season 2 or something, you'd be right on the dot, so if that's your aim, you're doing fair. If this is in 'present-day' SP, then you might have a bit of work to do, but since Pip and Mr. Hat are around, I'll assume your aim was to keep things as they once were. So Garrison, Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, etc. are all basically spot-on as they were back in the early days of the show, I really can't complain. And Cartman was actually fairly amusing even.

My only issue characterization-wise is Wendy and Bebe, although that was going to be obvious from the very start. Bebe hasn't a single line and is just shy and quiet, which isn't very Bebe given her usual characterization as leader or co-leader of the girls, and Wendy is of course a total bimbo like she is in every fanfic ever.

So basically, despite my critique, by the standards of the show's first few seasons, which I'm assuming you're aiming for, you're pretty much right where you want to be.
Cartman's Friend chapter 1 . 7/25/2012
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This story is off to a awesome start! Although I feel very sorry for Charlie although I know a female baby that is called Charlie, heck, she has her own show (Good Luck Charlie). This story is awesome because it doesn't have yaoi between two boys anywhere. GOOD JOB!
Marcus Absent chapter 9 . 7/18/2012
I think the funniest part of this was "Stan, Charlie says..." and so forth. Especially once Kenny joins in. And then everyone telling Pip to shut up. Classic.

Well, it looks to me like you've set this all up pretty well. Now you can have typical South Park stories that also have the new OC in it. I look forward to reading more.
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