Reviews for THANK YOU FOR BEING
Vindimich chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
I love Dom wanting to have children. This is very Vin! Principes out instead of angels,I liked the pun.
Beautiful Nightmare chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
Ok, if English isn't your first language, well, it shows. This story makes no sense what so ever. You switch from tenses a couple times in each sentence. Your sentence structure leaves a lot to be desired. You have no quotes. Periods are missing. You've switched from narrative to script. It just doesn't work on a whole.

And Americans, where the story is based and the characters are based off, do not say Alas. Ever. Unless they're high, it's a joke, or they're trying to appear "original" but come across as a douche bag with a popped collar.

You desperately need a beta to work Disney type epic magic to turn this into something that works.
Beautiful Nightmare chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
Ok, if English isn't your first language, well, it shows. This story makes no sense what so ever. You switch from tenses a couple times in each sentence. Your sentence structure leaves a lot to be desired. You have no quotes. Periods are missing. You've switched from narrative to script. It just doesn't work on a whole.

And Americans, where the story is based and the characters are based off, do not say Alas. Ever. Unless they're high, it's a joke, or they're trying to appear "original" but come across as a douche bag with a popped collar.

You desperately need a beta to work Disney type epic magic to turn this into something that works.
LifenthewayIseeit chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
Who is don did u mean Dom? This was so confusing and not just the mix up of the names the story as a whole.
Liz chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
You had some spelling errorss but other than that I like where this story is going