|Reviews for A new enemy|
| twiliunicorn chapter 5 . 5/28/2012
(I hope you don't mind something of a critique on this story. And don't take it the wrong way, either)
You have an interesting idea for a fanfiction, and an interesting idea for an OC. But interesting ideas alone don't always make interesting stories- if you know what I mean. Spelling and grammar could use a bit of work (I suggest having someone proofread for you- which can save you from pretty embarrassing typos) and the dialog is a bit hard to follow. Remember to start a new paragraph whenever someone else starts talking.
Though, the one thing that has me confused to an extent, is wouldn't the NPP have security cameras placed around the Headquarters and surrounding area? Maybe that's just nitpicking, though.
It may sound like I'm being a jerk about some things, but it's mainly because you have a lot of potential.
| doglover1290 chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
This is amazing