Reviews for As the Tears Fall
FadedSunset chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
That was so good. I nearly started crying.
Bushwah chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
For two hours you labored, and your results have been all that anyone - up to and including me - could hope for.
melakhim chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
My initial response: ;_; Endless waterfall of tears.

I don't know what to say. This was just... so beautiful. It seriously deserves more reviews... but then again, this is the PJO fanfiction archives, where crappy stories get 200 reviews of, 'PLS UPDATE,' and good stories are lost in the shuffle.

The third to last sentence... I had a little emotional breakdown there. In fact, I had an emotional breakdown throughout the entire story; it was that wonderful.
Olympus - 117 chapter 1 . 5/27/2012
Hey Shadows,

This is a very well written piece, tear jerking at appropriate moments and filled with enough angst to satisfy.

The only thing I could pick up on is you might want to go easy with the '...'s. Maybe consider using '-' or just ending the sentence there and then. I find it gets kinda weird seeing '...' everywhere, but that's just me ... :P

Overall a good solid story, good grammar, good spelling and you've got your own little style which is cool - stick with it. :)

Ollie
Incendiarist chapter 1 . 5/22/2012
Only two hours? o.O

It was pretty good, though you might have touches of the ellipsis-rape thing that Callie is so prone to. They're good for hesitation, and for trailing off, but if someone is having trouble speaking, an em-dash (—) might be more fitting.

And this line, "Her friend, the daughter of Ares – daughter of war, of battle, of rage and conflict and bloodshed – is enraged, is scared, is starting to cry real, glistening tears, and for the first time in her life, she doesn't care", needs a comma cull. Badly.

But beyond that? Characterisation was believeable, you made Silena a good sympathetic character even as she's pseudo-cheating on her (dead) boyfriend with the guy who killed him.

...

...

Gods, if I wrote het, that story'd be done in an INSTANT.

Er. Anyway. Grammar was good, word choice was good, and the style was nicely your own. You took from Discordant, I'm guessing? Since that's the only one of mine I can think of which is actually linearly present-past-present-past. XD

All in all, I'm impressed, Nem.

Incendiarist