|Reviews for That Was Yesterday|
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 41 . 2/3
YOU'RE LEAVING?! Oh please say it isn't so! I am literally in jaw-dropping shock!
I think before I lose my shit about your departure I should leave a review first, lol. While I'm really dismayed that this awesome story is now at its close, I think the ending was definitely satisfactory. The little explanations for the fate/future of each character were handled well. (Though I will admit, seeing Beni as the Cadillac-owning rich guy he always wanted to be made me dislike him all over again because he is just such a conniving, destructive weasel that doesn't deserve such a golden ending, lol.) Cecile's fate is quite bittersweet, as I've always liked her. Same for Roza. But, I suppose not all endings can be happy, right?
I did have a chuckle at Beni's (and poor Henderson's) expense when Trixie's pregnancy was mentioned. How funny that would be if the kid was Beni's! As for dear Mr. Daniels: I kinda figured he'd go back to his bitter, brooding ways. Staying happy just doesn't seem to come easy to him.
So, in conclusion, this was a great story (and yes, this rewritten version was fantastic) and I rightly expected nothing less than spectacular from you regarding it.
But seriously, you're LEAVING? I am sad, very very sad, to hear that! You are truly a fantastic writer (including your wonderful characterization of my boy Daniels!) and perhaps one day I'll see more of your work. I'm extremely grateful as well for your much-appreciated support of my own writing and your very kind words, and I will miss you a lot! I wish you nothing but the best, my friend! Don't stop writing! :)
| Brunette chapter 41 . 2/3
Honestly, I thought this was a marvelous revision, and while this chapter wasn't exactly exciting, it did a fine job of tying everything up. I think the way you use and leave Beni at the end of the story. He's still so very much himself, unsatisfied and essentially unsatisfiable.
I think I would have liked to see a final scene between him and Gloria, but I suppose that was basically covered in the previous chapter, so it's hardly essential. I have been trying to decide "what it means" that Gloria has so little to do with the final chapter, and with Beni's perspective in general. He's pretty well tied to her if he likes his life, and most anyone can see he's a kept man. But there doesn't seem to be anything to indicate that his lot in life is subject to change.
The way the other characters' fates more or less tied back to their movie fates was clever, and I like the hint that Beni might still be a father after all. It lends some unexpected extra gravity to his encounter with Trixie.
I also might have liked a final scene between Daniels and Virginia. I mean, I think it makes sense that he'd be too proud to ever approach her again...but I could also see him showing up at the Chamberlains' in a drunken rage.
The descriptions were especially vivid in this chapter, and I loved the image of the dark blue Cadillac in particular.
Seriously, this was a lovely piece, and a lovely ending. And I do hope that quitting fan fiction doesn't mean you're quitting all writing (I can't imagine it does). I've largely come to that point myself, and have spent the last few weeks working pretty diligently on an original piece that I'm hoping to publish; please drop a PM if you ever get anything published. I'd be happy to buy it.
Good luck in the future! You are incredibly talented and I've appreciated the mutual writers' insight and support over the past few years!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 40 . 12/9/2013
The story's ending?! Say it ain't so!
Well, I can say this: I am relieved that Gloria is alright (though I am saddened to know she lost the baby). I'm wondering what Beni's answer will be in response to Gloria wanting to marry him. Does he think it's still worth it? Will he still marry her just for the money she's promising him, or will is he still planning on skipping town despite her offer? Ooh so many questions!
As always, I love the interaction between Rick and Evy. I'm glad to see she's giving Rick a chance to explain himself about Katie; I was expecting her to come around. ;) They are just so darn cute together.
Well, I can't wait to read the final chapters!
| Brunette chapter 40 . 12/8/2013
(Again, I'm totally dragging on reviewing...)
So, I have to say, I was totally braced for this whole thing to just take a turn for the worse. Not the story in general. I mean like...I was expecting everything to get really bleak, and there'd be this whole sad shadow over everyone because of Gloria's death, and Beni would probably drink himself into oblivion, and everyone would just be left with sad mixed feelings because these two people really sucked but they still feel bad/guilty about their downward spiral...
But instead Gloria survived! And everything kind of took a sweet little unexpected turn, and I'm starting to think that everything is going to be okay for everybody (remember when I was hormonally wishing for that a couple chapters back? Remember that? I seriously didn't even think that was a possibility).
Rick and Evy reconciled, and Beni and Gloria are IN LOVE (even though he can't admit it) and they're going to live happily and dysfunctionally ever after, and that's great! And, of course, Imhotep and Meela are probably pleased now that they have the books, so they don't need to seek revenge. So really we're just left with the Daniels/Cecile/Chamberlain resolution, and maaaaybe something more between Jonathan and Roza (? Maybe not. I feel like their last section had a decent enough close...but I could see more happening there, too. Either way).
So, yes, I can see how this is wrapping up, and I'm really liking the direction everything is headed. I mean, you could still shock me with a Godfather baptism scene kind of violence explosion where Imhotep goes on a rampage...or something...but right now it seems like things are going to settle up nicely and everyone is going to be happy. Which, like, never happens. And that's cool!
Anyway, this was an excellent little chapter and I feel like it worked well to tie up many things that needed to be. Congratulations on being so close to the end! This sucker is literally a novel (as I recall, anything over 50Kwords is "novel-length," with the ideal being 80-150K), so you should definitely be proud of being able to sustain that level of story development, fanfiction or no.
Can't wait to see how you end it!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 39 . 12/2/2013
OH MY, Gloria got shot?! Holy cow, I did NOT see that coming (I should've, considering how much trouble she causes for everyone, but I didn't). I must know if she (and the baby) will live! I MUST!
This Rebekah girl was hanging in the back of my mind, and I was wondering if she would resurface (obviously she did). I'm assuming this is one more notch in the belt of misery for Beni (I definitely want to know how he reacts to the shooting). How will this affect his (as of now still undecided) plan to marry into Gloria's rich family? Like seriously, this chapter has left me with so many questions that my head is spinning, lol.
Intense chapter! Can't wait for the next one!
| Brunette chapter 39 . 12/2/2013
WHAT THE WHAT.
I can't even...
And further...holy shit! Because...HOLY SHIT.
(I'm going to get to an actual review at some point here...)
But seriously...WHAT?! WHAT just happened here?!
I like...don't even know how to properly review this, for real. I'm so shocked, and obviously so focused on the ending that it's really not even fair to the beginning part of the chapter (what even happened again? I mean, I know, there's the whole thing with him leaving the house and going to confront Gloria and her being all like, "Let's just get married and then you can be rich" and all such things I sort of assumed would happen, but then! THEN!).
I just assumed when Rebekah showed up that Beni was going to get killed. I was so braced for it and expecting it, that even when Gloria hit the floor, I just assumed she'd fainted and Beni had still been the one shot. So it wasn't even until the second to last sentence I even realized GLORIA WAS SHOT. (Sorry, but I think we both know these circumstances dictate capslock ;).
So like...WHAT?! And also, now what?! I assume Rebekah is going to leave Beni alone now that such an awful thing has happened, but she left the gun and Gloria is (assumedly) dead, so like...this could legitimately be pinned on Beni. Even if it's not, though...what's Beni supposed to do, if Gloria is dead? He has no money and he doesn't have the gold book, so pretty much everything has fallen apart for him. What's going to happen?!
...I feel like I pretty much yelled nonsensically for an inordinate amount of time, so sorry. But seriously. HOLY CRAP.
That is all.
(Also, OBVIOUSLY, I'm anxious for more!)
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 38 . 11/29/2013
How much more sympathy can you possibly squeeze out of me for Roza? Seriously, this poor woman NEEDS to get away from Beni! I'm kinda hoping this is the chapter where she finally gets the message and leaves Beni's ass for good (judging from the thoughts and feelings she's conveying here, I'm hoping it's this one, lol). Beni is truly pathetic, but I still say he and Gloria are meant for each other. Every time you mention his apparent displeasure about Gloria terminating the baby though, I just can't help but wonder why he feels that way. I need an explanation! I can't tell if he really doesn't want her to, or if there's another underlying reason. Either way, I must know soon!
As for Evelyn, I'm definitely with Rick on this one: she should NOT have penned that letter. That is surely setting her up for trouble with Meela and Imhotep, like Rick said. I love Evy, but her naivety is gonna get someone killed, lol. I am a little distraught at her reaction to Katie and how incredibly judgmental she was (maybe it's because I like Katie, lol), but I guess Rick deserves the blame for that by blurting out that she's a prostitute. Well, either way, I hope everything goes well for Katie. She's another girl who's been through enough and deserves a break.
Interesting chapter, can't wait for the next one!
| Brunette chapter 38 . 11/28/2013
Happy Thanksgiving! I read this a couple days, but of course with all the holiday festivities this is the first chance I've had to review it (which is weird, since today is actually Thanksgiving...but whatever).
So this chapter was really interesting. I'm fascinated by Beni's whole downward spiral; the way he's reacting to everything that happened is really sad, especially since this is hardly the first time he's been crushed and destroyed in his life. While I think he's pretty pissed about losing the book and his plot against Rick failing, it's obvious that things with Gloria are what really pushed him over the edge.
His conversation with Roza is interesting in light of that, because he basically admits that Gloria is the reason he wants to divorce. (As an aside, I like that Roza is the one who decided to officially end their marriage. I'm really curious where this leaves things with Jonathan; it doesn't seem like he's in love with her, but they're so great and adorable and he should be!)
The next section was also really interesting, because I didn't see the action coming. I thought it would be this sweet little scene between Rick and Evy where they'd probably discover they were so in love and meant to be, but no! There was the whole thing about artifacts at Hamunaptra and then Katie showed up and Evy stormed off. Whaaaat?! This must be resolved!
I kind of thought the story was coming to a close, but now I'm not so certain (and excited! I love this story!). I feel like maybe the first part has ended (with Beni's plot unfolding and ultimately being foiled), and now the next part of the plot is gearing up (Evy causing all this trouble at Hamunaptra, plus Rick trying to win her back...or maybe you're getting ready for a sequel?). I mean, stuff has to be resolved between Beni and Gloria...and Rick and Evy...and there's that thing with Daniels and Cecile, because Meela's going to kick her out of the Temple...AND Jonathan and Roza have to fall in love because THEY HAVE TO, and...other plot stuff. Like Imhotep having the book! (What's his whole thing? Is he nuts? 'Cause he called Hebrew the language of "the slaves" earlier, and he calls Meela Anck-su-namun, and he has the books for some crazy reason...).
Anyway, there's a lot left undone right now. And I'm so interested in all of it! What's going to happen?
As always, nice work, and again - Happy Thanksgiving!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 37 . 11/25/2013
I guess Beni is SOL with the gold book, lol. I stand by my previous comment about Gloria hiding the book on him; I think it's the best thing she could've done. I find Rick's comments about her involvement with Beni and Beni himself very insightful, especially when he mentioned Roza and how 'sad' she was and how everything Beni touches 'crumbles'. I just really love that because of how true it rings.
Does Meela ever get a break from Beni's drop-by visits? Lol. I'm extremely interested to know what (if anything) Meela will do with Cecile, mostly because of her involvement with Daniels. That could mean fireworks! ;)
Can't wait for an update!
| Brunette chapter 37 . 11/25/2013
Man, this has been the busiest weekend ever! (We traveled all day yesterday) But I finally have a second to review this like two days after reading it.
So I'm really interested in everything that's going on, and it kind of seems like everything just might work out. I mean, Beni's going to be all pissed about losing the book, but he -might- see how he has an opportunity to be rich via his child (who Gloria is keeping!)
I'm all over the place. I thought the exchange between Rick and Gloria was great. I really liked how you wrote Rick through that whole scene, and I love the way he chose to handle it. (And Gloria's awareness of it! She can tell that he's doing the right thing even though he doesn't have to, and it affects her. She starts to see how caring wouldn't hurt, and how it might possibly change the course of things with Beni. And it's got me all hopeful! They -should- be married. Roza would be happier without Beni, and Gloria and Beni get along together better than they'd ever get along with anyone else...but then Rebekah is still lurking around, isn't she? Is he still going to get shot?)
Anyway, the direction the story is headed in is a happy surprise because I think I assumed it would be another tragic ending like the last version, and it doesn't seem like it will be...or at least like it -has- to end sadly this time.
Nice work! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 36 . 11/22/2013
Aww I'm so glad to see Jon and Roza back together again! I kinda figure Jonathan wouldn't want to be at Margaret's party because of Beni. He is so sweet to Roza, ugh seriously, too adorable. I like he used Vilma Banky in comparison to Roza to make her feel good about herself. Love you Jonathan. ;)
Speaking of Margaret's party...well shoot, I can't say I'm surprised that Daniels pulled a gun on Beni in the middle of an engagement party, lol. Daniels truly does not have any control over his impulsive emotions (though I can't blame him in this case because of how broken-hearted he is over Cecile). What I do think is downright hilarious though is how Beni's plan to get revenge on Rick blew up in his face. This is a first for me too: I actually find Trixie just as annoying as Beni does, lol.
Awesome chapter! I can't wait for an update!
| Brunette chapter 36 . 11/20/2013
I read this last night, but I had the worst cold and could not formulate a decent thought, so I decided to wait til this morning to review!
But this was seriously like WHOA. So much happened! And I was really kind of shocked by how everything played out! I didn't see that coming at all!
But I'm going to back things up to the first section, because I really liked the way this chapter started. It occurred to me that Jonathan had never explicitly invited Roza to the party (I think I just assumed he had, or maybe I was confusing the previous version with this one), and I felt so bad for her sitting around at home alone, worried and fearful. Her conflicting emotions on Beni are always fascinating to me, but obviously the highlight of the chapter was Jonathan showing up.
What I liked was that Roza was already coming to the realization that she can get along without Beni, but Jonathan's appearance and his casual comment about Vilma Bandy really made her believe she can move forward on her own. She doesn't need to replace Beni with another man to take care of her - she'll be okay on her own. So Jonathan being there is great because respects her and likes her, not because she needs him to survive. It was such a nice moment!
But BENI. OMG.
I don't even know where to start, but I was not expecting his whole plan to backfire, and I definitely wasn't expecting it to end like that! I was, like, certain Daniels was just going to shoot him; when they started searching his pockets, I was all braced for it.
What's also interesting is that he never does go back in there to try and make up with Gloria (he keeps getting interrupted, and then he's just like, "screw it" after his plan fails). Surely he's going to try to go back there and find his book! (Also, I've been nervous lately that it's in Jonathan's room).
And THEN the whole thing with Trixie happens, which is fascinating in light of the last few sentences. Could Beni also love Gloria in his own, selfish, infantile way? I find myself just wanting these two people to be together, but now I'm suspicious Beni's about to meet his end in the upcoming chapters (Rebekah's going to get him, isn't she? ISN'T SHE?!), and Gloria will get an abortion and they'll never be a totally dysfunctional but weirdly likable family!
I'm obviously pretty invested in this whole thing, and I can tell it's winding down which makes me sad. I can't wait to see what happens next!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 35 . 11/18/2013
Really, I cannot stop laughing at Izzy (and his eyepatch). You are so good at writing him! He has some of the best dialogue. I really just love how he thinks he's gonna win over everybody at Margaret's party with his trumpet and eyepatch, and I especially love Rick's reaction to Izzy's assumption that rich people like eyepatches ("They enjoy blindness?", lol).
And here we go again with the drama that is Gloria and Beni, lol. I'm not surprised that Beni's reaction to her being pregnant is less than enthusiastic. However, if I may express a rare moment of me actually liking Gloria: I love that she hid the book on him and won't tell him where it is. That's just one more headache for Beni from one more person. Haha, love it.
I cannot wait for an update!
| Brunette chapter 35 . 11/16/2013
Dang it, I was determined to get that next chapter of The Fools up before reading/reviewing this, but I just couldn't stay away!
(Anyway, here I am, and maybe that next chapter will still happen tonight.)
So, wow. This ended with such a big scene, and it just now occurred to me that there could be a lot more to happen at the party yet! (Is Beni still going to succeed in sneaking that stocking onto Rick? What's going on in the library? Is Roza here with Jonathan? If Beni plants the stocking, will Daniels find out about it at the party and cause a big commotion? Is Beni going to make off with the gold book like he planned to?)
But I should probably focus on what happened here. Starting off with Rick entering the scene was great! I love that he let Izzy come along with him. I love how uncomfortable and awkward he is. I really love that he just casually pops a devilled egg in his mouth (something about that was so easy to picture; it was just a detail, but it worked so well for him). And then Evy shows up! And they're just darling and wonderful and they go off together, because even if it's for different reasons, neither of them can really handle the party scene. I really liked that observation. Rick and Evelyn come from such different worlds and they're such different people, but the work together and have these surprising similarities. Anyway, I thought that their shared discomfort at the party was a clever insight into both of them.
BUT OMG BENI AND GLORIA.
Gloria has gotten to be so fascinating. There's something just so characteristic about how she loves Beni and wants to keep him but doesn't want his child; it's a paradox that's perfectly fitting for her character and even their relationship as a whole. Wanting him is wanting to live this careless, selfish affair, and even though ordinarily, wanting a man has a natural inclination towards wanting a family with him, that's not the case in their relationship.
Further, in ANOTHER really characteristic observation, Gloria knows her only chance of hanging onto Beni is by keeping the most valuable and precious item of his she has in her possession - nope, not his kid, his golden book. She's completely aware of the kind of person he is and wants him anyway.
But I'm really hung up on the end of the chapter, and their whole conversation (particularly after she tells him she's hid the book). I thought the way he handled her pregnancy was interesting, especially in light of the other women he'd gotten pregnant before. He doesn't want to be a father, but he doesn't want her to throw away his child, either. The conflict is so interesting, because he's really just seeing the termination of the pregnancy as a rejection of himself by extension.
But I was going to talk about the end of the chapter, which I'm still thinking about. So actually I don't know if I can like...properly review it yet, because I'm still thinking about it, and what it has to say about each of them, and the two of them as a pair. So I'm going to think about it some more. I thought it was really good and really interesting, obviously, but I don't just know what to make of it, and I almost feel like I have to see what happens next to know quite how to judge the nature of their argument.
Anyway, this was marvelous! Great work!
| Kittiko-Blues chapter 34 . 11/16/2013
Jack the Ripper, I just love that name for the cat! ;)
I don't think I'll ever get tired of listening to Beni and Izzy complain about each other; it's absolutely comical. Izzy always brings up some really great points, but even Beni wins a round or two against him. I also really liked (and agree with) Rick's observation about the brothel girls being 'people' too; that is true Rick right there. It just goes to show you that big, tough O'Connell gives more of a damn than you think. ;)
Ooh, Imhotep came to Beni's apartment too? I shouldn't be surprised, but I guess I just wasn't thinking on it too much, lol. And again, the way Beni treats Roza is despicable, so imagine my surprise at Roza for sleeping with him! I know they're married, but ugh, she deserves so much more than Beni.
Good chapter, can't wait for more!