|Reviews for Mismatch|
| Salivour chapter 1 . 5/21/2015
I'm not familiar with Cold Case, so apologies for any mistakes I make due to that.
I thought that you over did the character description at points (...flung her bangs over her left ear...) is one example, does it really matter which ear the hair was flung over? it felt quite forced as quite often it doesn't matter to the story what colour a character's eyes or hair is.
That said, I could really picture these people acting like that. Particularly Lily just ignoring Lass to try and stop herself shouting at him, which of course doesn't work at all. It did feel as though Lily was being unreasonable here, so perhaps a bit of background on the hows and whys. In the argument, I was really siding with Lass as I felt he was the more sympathetic one. I did like Lily's dedication to her work, though, so she was sympathetic in that respect.
I loved how you characterised Lass. He really came across as exasperated, likeable and as though he's a supportive person for others. Especially in his dialogue, which you've done a really good job with as it felt very natural.
(...a mistake to let Vera pawn off his dog call on her...) I was really lost as to what that sentence meant, particularly as I've got no idea what a dog call is - so maybe a typo there?
(...for 'ya or something?) - the ' before ya
I thought this chapter was a good set-up for introducing Scott, and Lily's apparent dislike towards him. I'll be interested to see how Scott's character fits in with her.
Good job :)
| little dark starling chapter 12 . 6/27/2014
Sorry I've taken so long to read and review! Another great chapter - I loved the sweetness of the moments "afterwards", and didn't feel like I was missing out on anything keeping it T-rated, but I don't have a problem if you decide to make it M.
And I'm very intrigued by this Melanie Fex and Somebody to Somebody. I love your explanation of how the organisation came up with the name. It made me think of Lilly explaining to Kat why she keeps the photos of victims on her bedside table.
And again, I thought the subtlety of Lil and Scotty's final interaction in the basement was very effective: the simple hand-holding and the delicate detail of Scotty's thoughts.
Looking forward to more, and I'll try not to leave it so late next time :)
| Rhonda Roo chapter 12 . 6/14/2014
Wow... Love this story... I'm into anything that remotely whispers L/S... and this more than whispers it. Hahahaha! I miss that show so much, all I have are the occasional reruns.
| little dark starling chapter 11 . 5/31/2014
I'm so excited you've decided to continue this story! I wasn't on this site when you started it, so I got to read all eleven chapters in a row just now, and I'm loving it. I really like how you've woven in some of the events and dialogue from the original episode, but often giving them a new context and added meaning. And I love the new direction your story is moving in. Looking forward to the next chapter :)
| WithEveryBreath101 chapter 10 . 7/29/2013
Hey :) I'd like to tell you I really enjoy reading your story! :) I really like the storyline and what you've made of their early partnership! I really hope you'll update this story soon when you've got time :)
Greetings from Germany :)
| t-smitts chapter 2 . 7/22/2013
Interesting perspective. I'm most definitely NOT an L/S shipper, but it's interesting to see real dialogue from existing episodes shown in a new light. I have all the episodes on hard drive and actually watched "Love Conquers Al" again to see. I do think you had Lilly being a bit uncharacteristically harsh with Scotty in the last two paragraphs of the chapter, but still neat to see.
Glad to see someone else appreciates the show.
| darkaccalia520 chapter 10 . 7/7/2013
I really enjoyed this chapter. It's really an extension of the last one, and I'm glad that Lilly invited him over. Of course, I figured something deeper than sleeping might occur. I loved the bit of awkwardness with the cat name conversation, Lilly assuming Scotty was bored. I do love how that led Scotty to open up a bit more about Alyssa (Elisa?) and explain what happened. I do love that Lilly assures him he can't keep blaming himself. I adore where this led. I'm glad these two got together since it seems to me they're both good for one another.
While I really enjoyed the chapter, though, there was a bit of inconsistency with the perspective changes. You were in Lilly's perspective, but then you shifted back and forth between Lilly and Scotty...and it got a little jarring. Now, I do understand you're trying to show both their thoughts, but I think perhaps page breaks might be better. Or you could try something like this: do a bit on Lilly's perspective. Page break. Then Scotty's perspecive. Page break...and so on. I really think something like that might work a bit better. Of course, that's completely up to you.
Overall, I really enjoyed the chapter. I'm sorry you had some family issues that left you busy, but hopefully everything is okay now. I look forward to seeing what happens next, and I am eager to find out more about the case too. Well done. :)
One little thing:
The gnawing demon that had chewed away at his heart since Alyssa's passing seldom escaped from his body unless he was in the adrenalin rush of a car race or pursing a perpetrator.-I am slightly confused since I thought her name was Elisa. Was this a typo?
| darkaccalia520 chapter 9 . 7/7/2013
Ah, it's been a little while since I've read, but it didn't take me long to get back into this. Anyway, poor Scotty and Lilly. I really love how they both had so many trials in their personal lives. Not only that, poor Scotty getting the third degree a bit from Lilly. As you know, I'm fandom blind, so I really loved learning a bit about Lilly's past and why she's so blase about love. Well, now that I know what happened, I can certainly understand why. I love when things come together. I also love that her trip back to the past led her to realize where Scotty went. I am so happy she went to him, and I absolutely adored the uncertainty and awkwardness in the beginning. And I love how that led to a deep conversation and comfort for them. I don't recall since it's been so long since I read, but is Scotty eluding to the fact Elisa had committed suicide? Well, perhaps the next chapter will have the answer. Lovely chapter. Well done. :)
| Trinity005 chapter 10 . 5/28/2013
Yay! So happy to see a new chapter. I liked it and I'm anxious to see where this is going. I have said this before but, again, I love the pace of your fic. It's slower and more realistic; I can really "feel" things happening. Great work!
And I'm sorry about your family situation. I hope things are better now!
| Rhonda Roo chapter 10 . 5/28/2013
Great chapter... it's kind of like on the show she thanked him for telling her and I thought that was sweet. But now she can help him feel better by just being there... can't wait for more.
| truces chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
First of all, I'd like to say that I'm not familiar with this fandom at all so the things I say will not be guided by knowledge of canon. Also, I'm typing this on an iPad so I apologize in advance if there are any typos in the review.
Rubbing his red-rimmed, brown eyes,
Unnecessary comma between red-rimmed and brown.
Though the coffee she was sipping was ice-cold and strands of blonde hair drifted into her eyes, Lilly ignored Lass
I don't see how the fact that the coffee was cold and her hair was in her eyes relates to the fact that she's ignoring him... did you mean to put though?
why I got
why I've got, unless it's an dialect.
Real class act
Real classy act. Again, if it's a dialect thing ignore me. XD
I don't got a choice.
I don't have a choice.
as she bolted down the rest of her coffee
I've never heard bolted used in that sense before. 'Gulped' or 'chugged' would make more sense.
Lil took that pretty good.
Lil took that pretty well.
and only took the two pieces each Lilly's sign commanded.
This seems like a weirdly worded sentence. Lilly's sign commanded doesn't quite fit to me.
I really liked Lilly - she's very feisty and I love her attitude. By your descriptions, you made Vera very unlikable. If that's what you were going for, mission accomplished! Your writing was very descriptive - I liked how you accompanied every bit of dialogue with an action, although it became a little much at times. I wished the lines could speak for themselves a little bit more sometimes.
Even never having touched this fandom, I definitely understood what was going on and what the characters were like, so kudos for that.
I thought overall that this was a very good prologue. It was short but it set up the story well. Good work. :)
| Edhla chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
It's been a while since I've seen this show, but I did kind of OD on them at one time ;)
What really struck me here is your attention to dialogue. At first, Lilly's lack of grammar kind of surprised me; ("I got" instead of "I've got", etc) and then I thought back: yeah, she really did speak like that. Well noted, and well handled. Excellent.
Same for Stillman's dialogue. It's distinct from the other characters, and very well written.
I also like the fact that you're not portraying Lilly to be an angel here. Lass isn't obliged to stay; she's really being quite harsh for objecting to someone transferring out.
Nice nod, too, to the fact that despite the fact that I think there's laws surrounding it, cops in homicide programs seem to never, ever go home. :D
The detail about her mouth hardening is excellent, and I'm sure if caffeine were suddenly outlawed, most law enforcement agencies would go into meltdown ;)
In short, excellent work, here :)
| zebraboymom chapter 9 . 1/7/2013
Very vulnerable scene written very well. I could feel the emotions. Nice job. Looking forward to watching the relationship progress.
| lulubell6 chapter 9 . 1/2/2013
Congratulations on your new job!
I am so happy you updated. This story is amazing. I love that Lilly and Scotty are bonding. I can't wait to read more!
| Trinity005 chapter 9 . 12/31/2012
You might not believe but just yesterday I was thinking about this fic (and wishing you hadn't given up on it). I was very glad to receive an update notification today!
I loved this new chapter and seeing Scotty slowly open up to Lilly. She's getting involved with him without even noticing, which I'm enjoying to read.