|Reviews for Keeping Secrets|
| murphycat chapter 30 . 11/9/2013
Great story. I don't know if it's finished or if there's another portion somewhere, but incredibly done.
| Verran chapter 18 . 8/25/2013
I'm not worried about the time jumps - it works well with the style of writing you use. It gives enough depth to the story to keep me reading, and nearly every chapter has moved events on and built on the last. This latest development is sensational, but now kind of puts Robert in the frame for the leak.
Especially as it looks as if he's about to learn something about the Achilles, and he's already got drawings of an Achilles-seaQuest hybrid in his kitchen drawer. Eeeep!
| Verran chapter 17 . 8/25/2013
Weird doesn't even begin to describe it! What is Matthews doing? Surely if there was more research being done on Mobius holes, somebody would have noticed? But then if Robert and Addy are secretly designing the next big sub in their spare time, who knows what some of the scientists might be getting up to in their own apartments. And Matthews did mention a couple of chapters ago that other people had attempted to send vidlink messages to the outside world...
I can imagine they just don't know who to trust. Matthews is just so contradictory, but he's in a position that he could make life very nasty for them. Is he trying to turn Addy against her staff by making her suspect them? But then he doesn't tell her outright to stop it. He just says keep it under control. Does that mean the research has his 'unofficial' approval?
So ambiguous. Love it.
| Verran chapter 16 . 8/25/2013
"We were following orders!"
This harks back to the chapter where Robert compared the mindset of the civilians to those of the military ranks, when something didn't feel right. His father said 'do something', but Robert didn't do enough, and now it's too late.
But I think Robert and Addy are starting to see cracks - possible weaknesses in Matthews' armour.
And no, I don't believe him when he mentions the possibility of this all blowing over, for one minute.
| Verran chapter 15 . 8/25/2013
I was going to say that it could have been much worse, but thinking about it, Robert felt he had nothing to lose, and then he discovers in a very untactful way, that he's lost his mother, and his father never got the message.
That has to be worse than any punishment that could have been dished out.
Good for Addy. I feel like she's almost grasped what's going on with Matthews, but he's slippery. He says he's protecting them, but from whom, exactly? And the bit where he says he was only trying to do what was best for his crew, but the imprisonment was never meant to be part of it... It almost sounds like he'd struck a deal with someone...
Was the accident sabotage, I wonder?
| Verran chapter 14 . 8/25/2013
Eight years - and Charlie's not a kid anymore. It makes sense that the relationship between Robert and Charlie would change over the years, and not just because Robert never had the time to get to know him when they were aboard the Achilles. In what little you do tell, Charlie has become more daring, (and he has a girlfriend, of course)
But now I'm holding my breath, after the vidlink message. Something tells me something's going to hit the fan...
| Verran chapter 13 . 8/25/2013
Aww, that's lovely. I mean, not just the proposal, but they're trying to make the best of things, despite being forced to live a pretend normal life, while being watched all the time.
The fact that her thoughts wander to thinking about the leak being the act of 'one person' and that they must have known who it was... made me think suspiciously of Captain Matthews. Especially when she wonders whether he had to pull strings for the ring... The fact that Matthews CAN pull strings... Hmmm.
| Verran chapter 12 . 8/25/2013
You can see the change in everybody - they've accepted their fate, the hierarchy that existed on the Achilles is all but disintegrated, and they're being put to work. The phrase [I knew all too well how terrible news could be disguised as a celebration] told volumes, how their hopes had been raised only to be dashed.
A good transition chapter - you handle the passing of time well, giving enough detail to sketch in the important points, without leaving any holes.
| Verran chapter 11 . 8/25/2013
Short and sweet, but effective. It's interesting how you use dreams to describe what Robert is going through, but with Addy it's conscious grappling with trying to keep her head, while believing she actually was dreaming.
It makes sense he'd have nightmares about the hull breach, though. But I think he's about to get into trouble!
| Verran chapter 10 . 8/25/2013
Being locked up in a room like that with nothing to do except worry must doing things to their minds. Like Addy beginning to hope that Charlie wasn't right, when he's just a kid on an internship, and is less likely to know about these things than she is.
But he's starting to crack, and that doesn't look good.
For critique, there seemed to be some shifts into the present tense, here. At first I thought the whole story was moving into the present tense, because we're moving onto the next phase in the plot, but then it goes back into past tense again.
Keeping the POV with Addy for this chapter heralds a break in your alternation, and it took me by surprise. Not in a bad way, though. It kind of represented the unknown length of time they were being kept in the cells.
Overall a good chapter.
| Verran chapter 9 . 8/25/2013
Well, you evoked a real sense of unease over here. Does that mean the entire crew, including Matthews, the cooks and all? Or just the scientists and the military personnel? Does that include Matthews? And with the relief, guilt and dread that Addy detects in Robert's eyes, how much does he really know?
I appreciated your A/N. Not knowing the TV show, now I understand what you meant by it being an AU hoping to make sense of canon continuity issues. I think this is a clever and creative way to write fan fiction.
Now I sense that we've come to - or at least are coming to the end of the first act in this story, I'm looking forward to knowing what happens next.
| Verran chapter 8 . 8/25/2013
That was mind blowing. Now I know why we didn't get a peek at the Mobius holes before this. Wow. Were we seeing the effects of a wormhole, here? Confusing, it was, but in a good way. And the white-out - didn't we see that briefly in the prologue?
Now I've got that out of the way, on to the conversation with the captain. I found that very interesting. Either he's lying, or Robert misinterpreted some of his motives, at least. I would have thought they'd be over-reporting, to make sure Matthews kept his position, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Very mysterious.
I think you made the right decision ending the chapter here, not just for the reasons you gave in your A/N, but you have established an alternating POV between Robert and Addy that has been working very well up to this point, so a new chapter, new POV feels natural.
| Verran chapter 7 . 8/25/2013
Now we're starting to see the fallout. Two months in, and while we have progress (which the powers-that-be must be happy with, because Matthews is still there), there are reminders that he doesn't have complete control - like this Charlie situation. Has the kid just misunderstood something and thought he's being moved? Or is there something more sinister going on?
Either way, Addy's standing up to the captain was brave, bordering on the foolhardy, but it looks as if the captain can do little to punish her, since she's obviously needed and is working around the clock to help ensure this 'progress' that keeps his position. I can see why the captain decided to have Robert go sort it out.
The way you have the tension finally get the better of Addy and Robert was well done, and especially when Addy's mind goes into meltdown as she tries to process everything that is going on. And again, a clever use of Addy's POV to disguise the nature of the vidlink conversation between Robert and his dad.
I thought last chapter was a great one. This one is even better.
| Verran chapter 6 . 8/25/2013
Now, this was a very interesting. The narrative really gave a feel to the kind of person Robert is, and the way he thinks. He's doubting Matthews' motives and priorities, and there's definitely something political going on here. Especially as he feels he's present at the meeting because of who he is, not necessarily because of his position.
But this: [No one was ever that frank or familiar with Captain Matthews. No one.] - The goalposts have been moved, and the crew are starting to speak their mind. More than that, Matthews is being more frank with them. He may still have retained his position as captain for now, but his authority has been compromised in the eyes of his crew, and the relationship between them has changed. I thought it was clever, opening the chapter by comparing the mindset of the civilians with that of the MPs - 'feels different, change something,' versus 'feel's different, we wait for orders' - but by the end of the chapter, they're questioning why they're even doing this.
Did I say I was disappointed with lack of description? The way you showed the tension in this chapter more than made up for it. (Still want to see Deck 7, though!)
This was a great chapter and moves the story on well.
| Verran chapter 5 . 8/24/2013
Ah, so it was a shot across the bow, so to speak! Again, changing the POV to Addy was a good choice. It keeps the reader away from what's going on, but we can see by Robert's face that he's not really that confident about the project. The 'plans' the higher ups have, sound ominous. It looks like they're stuck with an impossible task set by some very impatient people.
It was good to read a few more details about the relationship between what Addy and Charlie do on the sub, and the actual Mobius hole project itself. Indirectly related, and as she said a few chapters ago, her work will probably never see the light of day. This project is so secret, that even many of the scientists don't fully understand how they fit in!
I can feel the tension rising, now, and I'm looking forward to reading on.