|Reviews for Wrong Italy|
| Spanish-Reader chapter 11 . 9/20/2014
"Yay! ¡Vamos, Holanda!" it's better/good/imforgetthepalabra
| Spanish-Reader chapter 8 . 9/20/2014
"Gracias adios" is "Thanks bye"
"Gracias a Dios" it's correct
| Spanish-Reader chapter 3 . 9/20/2014
"¿Cuántas veces te he dicho que vigiles a tu mascota? ¡Tu sabes, él atacó a el Sacro Imperio Romano hoy, quiero que vayas a su casa y le pidas perdón!"
| Spanish-Reader chapter 2 . 9/20/2014
"Da Vin, que te pasa? Esto es un amigo y no debes hacer eso! Tu lo sabes muy bien. Donde esta Roma?"
| AnotherHetaliaFan chapter 16 . 7/19/2014
Even though it has been a long time since you updated, I hope you'll someday finish this! :D
| AnotherHetaliaFan chapter 14 . 7/19/2014
I ship Netherlands and Romano so their little exchange was adorable, even if their not a couple in this one :3
| Xx-Yaoi-Ninja-xX chapter 16 . 6/9/2014
When are you going to update this story? Its been over a year. So hopefully soon.
I have one question about it. When is Turkey coming back? He said he would be back but so far he hasn't been.
| RKdreamer chapter 16 . 3/30/2014
Omg! This couple is so cute! Please continue this story please! I hope you update this amazing story soon!
| Basileia Rhomaion chapter 1 . 12/23/2013
H-hi! Well, I'd like to translate your fanfic to Spanish... I just love it! It's awesome, and this is one of my OTPs. Please...
| Fiandalin chapter 16 . 11/30/2013
Please, continue writing,..
| ShiroiNami45 chapter 16 . 3/14/2013
Honestly, I loved this story so much that I neglected to do my homework and study for a test because I was so hooked.
| Joseppe chapter 7 . 3/11/2013
Plot; The dream sequence was a risky thing to expouse with, but it paid off tremendously. It's the double imagery that works here, with every angelic hug in his dreamscape being a possible Roman hug in the real world. -
Besides that, I liked the inclusion of Hungary here. She opened the route for the adorable ending sequence, which for me is one of the defining moments of this series. Cute, memorable, and quite plot-heavy!
It receives a 9/10.
Characters; ROMANO, Romano, ROMANO. Your efforts to flesh him out have resulted in a massive increase in sympathy For the poor kid. Little else to say, for the rest is the same asxlast time. :I
Language; Ya know, I'm not one to dock a LOT of points for spelling, grammar, and the like. I get that typos will rear their ugly tails every so often, and that they're accidental.
But I am now presented with an error that HAD to have been on purpose. "The He." I've talked about this before, but it's absolutely worth mentioning again.
All FIFTY-SIX of these starters have FAR outstayed their welcome. The only thing they're getting now is a smoldering crater right between the letters. Allow me to act out my experiences with this pernicious little twerp of a word.
":D Well then! How unique. Yet more sympathy for little Romano, all well-earned by his scars. Still the interesting protagonist I know him for. c:"
"Ah, yes! I quite like how Turkey's massive presence echoes throughout the entire tale, and...
Huh. Uh well. That's... :I"
"Mkay, now it's getting annoying. .-. Seriously."
"This is absolutely ridiculous."
At some point, I stepped out of the cutesy-wootsy atmosphere and shifted my perspective outwards a click. This is less a living, breathing story than a otaku terminator uploading his recent activity log in the form of a Fanfic. (If that's the truth, my money's on Turkey. _") The lack of sentence variety has effectively lobotomized this story, turning it into a mission log of sorts. Look...
Descriotive language? Excellent as usual, and considering the storybook nature of this chapter, it's all the more important.
But this category receives a 5.9/10.
Overall; Besides the language, I loved this to death. :3 The amount of exposition it delivers without seeming at all boring simply astonishes me, and I simply adore your characters.
| Joseppe chapter 6 . 3/5/2013
Plot; Well, ain't that a fine how-do-you-do. Never thought I'd see solitary confinement in a Hetalia fic. But it just works so well here! Yet another tense moment between Romano and HRE that manages to be actually a bit scary. The sympathy I felt for Romano drove me onward, along with my wondering what the effect of this little experiment would be.
Speaking of that, the ending and overall impact of this chapter is just what the series needed. It was beginning to fall into a routine of sorts with playful antics mixed with deep character development. Not stale, per se, but I wasn't thinking "What's going to happen to Romano?"
I was wondering how he would get out of trouble.
A very big difference indeed, and I'm glad you changed it. Now, the RomanoEmpirean pairing that was the core of this story has grown enough to change the mood.
And with this change from slight, awkward glances to the firstfruits of a healthy relationship, interest blooms. 9/10.
Characters: Oh, sure, I'd just be repeatimg myself. ,_,
Instead, I'd like to focus on the side characters.
France and Turkey, specifically.
Turkey is given a bit of a bad rep, and although he can indeed be a bit... Overbearing, I regret the fact that you didn't keep him as a kindly old man. :T Ech, blech.
But France. ;; Above and way, way beyond. His devilish schemes finally come into play, and I wasn't at all disappointed see plot yadda yadda. His methods are quite barbaric compared to his usual fluorishes, further driving home the desperation of this situation.
No rating, other than what I've already given. -
Language; Well, shit. The language is, hm, exactly the same. Well... Yeah. No better, no worse. It remains constant at the same high level of quality. 8.3/10.
Overall? A Climax that didn't dissapoint. Certainly, it shll be different from here on out now that they're opening up to each other. Hooray for ending the onset of stagnation.
| Joseppe chapter 5 . 2/26/2013
Plot; Ah, a fun little departure from the stress of the last chapter.
Besides that dream sequence (which was handled quite well), it's all The Hetalian Antics I've come to love. :3
Side thing; .-. Further evidence all rants I've posted are innacurate...
I never once considered the tide of action.
I was so caught up in all the postulatin' that I forgot that humorous asides would be neccesary. ,_, Blech, sorry.
End Side thing.
I love how you kept it light and bubbly, yet kept the events from the past stewing in the back of our minds. It's much the inverse of the last chapter, in which the darkittiness was splashed with a smattering of cute Romano-iness. -w- You kelt the plot moving along nicely, despite the humor it now exudes.
Well done! 9/10.
Characters; Romano is officially th bastard of this fic.
A sympathetic one, but a bastard nonetheless. o-o
I simultaneously feel for him and hate his guts for being so pissy.
Although, le pissiness is just another good way in which you showed his internal conflict. Romano remains the most interesting character for me, followed by HRE and Veneziano.
I feel like they make an excellent *sigh* love triangle. -_-
Veneziano's simplicity keeps it Hetalian enough while bringing the othere back down to earth. HRE's Fortitude and licentiousness contrast both brothers, and it's interesting to see how two bros cut from the same cloth are so damn different when it comes to fluff-dom. _
Romano's Reactions are genuinely funny, although a bit repetitive. His rudeness is by far the funniest thing here. His blunt responses to natural Hetalian Fare made my day. "What a fag."
That line KILLED me. ;;
His feelings manifest themselves in his actions, with hilarious consequences.
Keep this setup going, and you're golden. Just be sure to advance it to keep the staleness at bay. :P
Language; Another change... Short snippets of dialogue, followed by cheekily-flavored exposition. Again, the narrator is all over the place...
And, might I add, most of the uses are not that funny, blech. Useful for showing each character's detailed thoughts, yes, but simply not funny. :I The humor route has failed, but its usefulness is simply too great to ignore. Neutral, I say. : P
Mini-asides aside, This style feels predictable, and gets a bit old in the end, but it's not tok bad. I woulda liked to have seen some variation, that's all. ;
Overall; The much-needed comic relief has arrived, whooping and hollering its way around its predecessors! It may not be the greatest, but BOY, can it make ya laugh! And it doesn't let the rest of the plot down either! At the enduva day, the rest of the chapters will look down at poor ol' comic relief and say he did a swell job. Make 'em laugh!
Ain't that enough? 8.9/10.
Improvemnts; Not many at all. Vary the structure a bit, perhaps?
Keep the *cough* triangle, of course. And maybe stop portraying poor ol' france as a serial rapist. ;; Aw, C'mon...
Blech, that's all I got. God Bless!
| Joseppe chapter 4 . 2/24/2013
Plot: .-. It pains me to use the words "clever corruption" in the same sentence, but that's exactly what this is... I see.
This is a serious, intriguing story about how something fans would take for granted would develop realistically.
The events are small-scale, yet endlessly interesting.
Side Note: If these events are indeed small-scale, then wouldn't these narion's, well, national status invoke images of some worldwide event?
Whenever I picture Turkey chasing Romano, I see legions of Turkish troops storming the boots of Italia. The parodical nature of Hetalia itself interferes with the...
I feel restrained by the other two categories, so I'll get them out of the way. Characters; Excellent. Language; Space better, but otherwise, great.
This really is where the brunt, nay, ALL of my commentary shall reside.
For ease of access, everything else is referring to the plot.
Mkay. Real Talk. u_u
Bluntly, the the very fact that this is a Hetalia fanfic holds it back.
The style you're writing this in is too realistic, too raw, too relatable for this series.
If you saw it fit to write this series in your own style, rewriting this series, acclimating it to small but powerful personal events, and showing the deep psychological effects of homosexual thoughts, go ahead. I applaud thee, writer of fandom fun and fiction fancy free.
But you forget; Hetalia is a four-panel anime comic strip.
The characters will always be connected to this format, always thrive in it. And when they're not placed in it, the lack of continuity and light edginess is sure to follow. It must, for without these things, you are left with nothing more than a simple group of characters and the baggage they carry from their previous works.
That's the clincher. Romano, HRE, Turkey... They all make excellent characters, so it's no wonder you'd write a fanfic about them.
But i simply can't do it. I can't disconnect myself from this "informal continuity". It's simply too powerful. -_-
I do have a vision, however. One in which the characters of Romano and company are the same, yet different. A story in which there areno personifications, just people. Where, most importantly, I can judge this story without being weighed down by the shackles of Italy in a dress.
That's another thing. Romano's song may just be the most touching thing I have read in this fic thus far, being both comedic and emotional.
But it's the only HETALIA in this fic. The rest is the realsemidarkity I've been ranting about.
But what's most INTERESTING to me is that this doesn't feel AT ALL like it's corrupting the characters. They feel like extensions of their former, oficually-written selves; Your take on how they would be.
Obviously. I have to admire this. Not a hint of deviation. The characters are just as good as the plot.
...I forgot where I was going with this.
Ah, yes. Bulleted lists, why not? :I
There are two possibilities, the way I see it.
- You made this realistic to make it stand out from the billions of snappy fics stuck to this site.
- You never intended to do so, and ran with the characters, ending up back in your usual style.
But why Hetalia? Your style seem more suited to original works, methinks...
• It inspires you from the start with its charm, its familiarity infusing your brain with new ideas simply because of the good vibes you had with it.
• The very same good vibes resonate with the readers. You hardly need to introduce or develop the basic characters, because you wouldn't be seeking thia fanfic out unless you already know about Hetalia.
.-. I think I'm done ranting.
Well, I'm not even sure whether what I said was clear or not, but as long as you glean something useful from it, my poor aching thumbs were not sacrified in vain.