Reviews for So Much Better than Algebra
AnimegirlZ.09 chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
OMG!I LOVE THIS! ESPECIALLY THE ENDING!
TeamWhoeverHitBellaWithTheCar chapter 1 . 7/23/2012
You got some great characterization going on here, and I love the scene! However, your formatting makes it very hard to read and confusing to follow.

Whenever you have a change in speaker in dialogue, make a new paragraph. All the big paragraphs with multiple speakers need to be broken into many paragraphs. Start a new paragraph whenever the speaker changes. For example:

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"You have a smudge of moon dust on your face, let me get that for you," Nita replied. She reached for Kit and pulled his face closer. "Wait, we're in an air shield, how do I-" Kit was saying when Nita silenced him with her lips on his. When they broke apart, Nita said, "You're really cute when you ramble." Kit blushed. Nita kissed him again. "This is SO much better than Algebra."
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The above should be:

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"You have a smudge of moon dust on your face, let me get that for you," Nita replied. She reached for Kit and pulled his face closer.

"Wait, we're in an air shield, how do I-" Kit was saying when Nita silenced him with her lips on his.

When they broke apart, Nita said, "You're really cute when you ramble."

Kit blushed.

Nita kissed him again. "This is SO much better than Algebra."
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TheAdventuresJustBeginning chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
This was actually really cute. You were correct about it being one-shot sized but I think you should get rid of the "Ch *blank*" spaceings that are there at random intervals: it makes the story seem to choppy.

Also one must paragraph whenever there is a new piece of dialogue. It is very hard to read a giant block of text which is why we have this thing called paragraphing and it's not too hard to learn. Paragraphs can be as long as you need them to be, but generally you need to paragraph at every new pice of dalogue and whenever you change the subject. Also keep in mind that while paragraphs, chapters and stories themselves should be as long as they need to be (whoever came up with the "five sentences equals a paragraph" shit needs to be stabbed through the heart with a pencil) when one gets too long you might want to think of splitting it up because, as I stated earlier, readers have a hard time reading giant walls of text.

Hope you'll keep this advice in mind when you write the "sequel of sorts" :)

TAJB
Writey Starkid chapter 1 . 5/28/2012
AWWWWWW! So cute! Now I'm excited for the sequel. :)

K/N AND T/C. WOOT!

Dai!

Writey
SpiritCat-2010 chapter 1 . 5/25/2012
YAY! new young wizards fanfic! Fantastic work. cant wait for the sequel :)