|Reviews for Dill's Epilogue|
| Rufus Butterworth chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
So good. I especially like the line: "Even he wasn't old enough for coffee or tea. The taste bothered him."
| Moonlite Streak chapter 1 . 5/29/2012
Your writing is definitely improving! I was browsing this fandom for ideas for my own assignment, read this story then saw the author's name and did a double-take!
They're well stuck in character - I love how you've made Mayella, but I can only help but wish she might have become a little humbled by her experiences in the book.
On the other hand though, she may have well been bitter and resenting towards Jem and Scout, and Dill by association, but I believe that in the end she's just trying to blame someone else to distract herself from confronting her own feelings about her father's death and Tom Robinson's conviction.
You got the accents nailed to a tee - applaud is in order here!
I love how Mayella gets all uppity when Dill recoiled. I could imagine it so well!
Thinking about it, Mayella would have either degenerated into a tempermental girl, lashing out at everyone, because as said earlier, she may have some unresolved feelings and self-blame going on there. But she could also have become quiet; introverted.
Me and my happy endings - I would have chosen the latter. But you've done a good job with the former :)
Dill visited Maycomb in Summer. Just thought I'd point that out.
Oh my gosh Edward! Adjectives! Elucidations! Descriptions! Depthly writing! I ain't given ya enough credit as an author - where'd all this hidden talent spring from?
You should consider a career in writing. I'm actually serious, with a little teensy bit more work, you would be even more incredible than you are now!
Wait - when you talk about the snow, are you talking about when they made the snowmen? But I don't think Dil was there for that...
And when you say "1 hour to go before the nanny came," the rule is that any number below 100 is generally written full length. so: "one hour to go before the nanny came,"
And a question - where is the diner? I doubt Mayella would have enough money to leave Maycomb, and to actually be head waitress implies that she had been working there for a long time.
Since Dill is 18, wouldn't he realise the full seriousness of an engagement by now?
Oh, but I love how he takes a 'swig' of hot chocolate, bows and then leaves the diner.
I know I've said it to you before, but you should rewrite Electronic Bliss -
'Dill's Epilogue' is just how I've been trying to tell you how to write - not overboard with adjectives, but not an overload of meaningless dialogue. I still have trouble finding the balance, but I think your all over this one. Meaning you've aced the Alex examination :)
A bit of a typo I just noticed as I'm typing this - when you say:
"I'm a tough guy, I'll show Boo Radley who's fiancée he's messin' with,' he thought angrily as he walked into hadn't forgotten his engagement to Scout back when they were kids. Dill walked into a diner and ordered some hot chocolate to go.
Dill walked into somewhere twice!
Also, Dill was known to resent both his mother and step-father, if memory serves right. If his Mum is carting him off to Maycomb for the Summer Hol's, I don;t think she would be calling affectionately from the other room.
But hey, I'm nitpicking at your work here. I reckon it's brilliant - and a damn sight more than I've done for my assignment.
I'm still staring at a blank sheet of paper. ( -.-)lll